Could someone please shoot me in the face? Thanks!

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honeyprincess21
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 99
   Posted Yesterday 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG OMG OMG...OW!!!
 
So...I hurt. A LOT. I woke up yesterday pretty much unable to walk due to this back pain. It feels like if I could just crack it or massage deep enough it would go away but it won't. I laid in bed crying yesterday for 4 hours. Because I didn't go into work yesterday, I now don't get paid for Thursday OR Friday...so now my hours I've worked so hard at getting are worthless. I just went from 75 hours to 60 hours and I have to pay my rent out of this check. My back is ACHING. Do I have pain meds? Yes, I have Baclofen. Can I take it at work? Of course not because it would knock me out. I'm darned if I do, I'm darned if I don't. If I stay home to take the "me" time I need, I'm screwed financially. If I go to work, I feel like it's just adding pain on top of more pain. I am so depressed over this now.
 
I'm 28. I feel like I'm 80. I feel like I should have more then what I do. I'm terrified of what will happen when I get older. What if I get arthritis? Osteoporosis? I can't imagine piling that on top of this pain. I can't stomach the thought of the rest of my life being this way. I feel so cheated. I know we all feel this way but OMG, it's just really overwhelming me right now. It's just not fair. It's not fair! I'm a good person...why am I stuck with this and endo? No cure for either. What did I do to deserve this??? I won't even have enough money to buy food now. I told my friend that and she had said to come over and she'll cook for me. That made me cry. I love her so much for that, but I just cannot STAND being the person who has to be taken care of. I swear if I could hospitalize myself for a week, I would. I can't take this. I have been shaking all day, feeling like I'm fighting off a panic attack. I've been crying from depression, frustration and pain. My stomach is in knots AND I'm nauseous from worry and the pain.
 
OMG and now someone just sliced an orange in the break room and its all I can smell. I feel like I'm stuck in hell...and it smells like Citrus.
 
Just really needing to vent and feel sorry for myself, I guess... 
Endometriosis since 2002 diagnosis via laparoscopy
5 laparoscopies for Endometriosis from 2002 - present
Anxiety since 2004
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder since 2005
GERD since 2008
Fibromyalgia since 2008
Colonoscopy - 2008
Endoscopy (EGD) - 2008
 
Currently in Physical Therapy for Pelvic Floor spasms. Also for lower back, hip & thigh muscular problems.
 
* Baclofen
* Xanax for Anxiety
* Fish Oil Capsules
* Iron Pills
 
!!! At my wit's end with being "broken" !!!
 


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17094
   Posted Yesterday 12:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Worries.  Worry and fear.  I think we all are going through some of that right now.  I know money is tight at my home and I am really watching every penny that goes out the door.  It has to be so hard for you since you are trying to earn money to live but are suffering so much.  This does sound like a flare and, Honeyprincess, your anxiety and worry is just making it worse!  If you could stop worrying your stress would lessen, then your pain, and then you could work the hours you need to pay your bills.  The worrying doesn't help you one bit but it does make you feel worse. 

Do you have an Aldi's close to you?  We had them come to my area and they have a lot of good products for very little money.  I am saving a lot buying things there.  When I have errands to run, I plan on doing them at one time and map out a route so that I'm not using gasoline needlessly.  I've turned down my heat a notch and started wearing warmer clothing.  These are just a few ideas to help you with finances.  Financial concerns are pretty miserable.  It's wonderful that you have such a great friend.

No, it isn't fair and no you haven't done anything to deserve this illness.  This is called "life".  I have several health issues, too, that have no cure, but none of them will kill me either!  So, I'm thankful that the things I have I can control.  You can too.

Try taking deep breaths through  your nose and blowing it out your mouth...like you are blowing through a straw.  That will help to try to relax you a little.  The stretching exercises on Fibro 101 can be done sitting down so you could do this at work to help loosen the muscles.  Then, take one day at a time.  You are projecting yourself in the future!  You are worrying about things that haven't happened and no one knows what the future holds.  You can plan for one day and see it through successfully.

I do hope you calm down and start to feel a little better.  A good cry usually helps me and then I stare fibro in the eye and push on.  Feel better.

Sherrine  


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted Yesterday 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
All I can do is reinforce what Sherrine said. Worrying only makes it worse. It makes your pain worse and your fatigue worse. But for somebody who works sixty hours a week, that is so much. I can't imagine what you were working before. That is enough to send anybody into a flare.

I hope that you are able to relax and embrace life.

I can't imagine having to smell something that you don't like so strongly. Smells bother me too. But we have to breathe.

Feel better soon. Try to get rest when you can.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted Yesterday 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sending prayers for your strength...
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


RedDiane
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 906
   Posted Yesterday 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I do feel bad for you, because I have had more than 20 years to come to terms with this. BUT, when I was 28 with a one-year old son my dr. told me I had lupus and would not live to see him grow up. That will set you off. It turned out I have fibro, I have only ONE hour of energy a day, I hurt everywhere and every pain killer on the face of the earth does not work for me. Try not to stress too much, it makes things worse. Diane
Fibromyalgia since 1984, Sjogren's, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Auto-immune eczema, GERD, osteoarthritis, IBS, RLS, sleep apnea


honeyprincess21
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 99
   Posted Today 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys...I'm feeling better today, a little. I really appreciate everything you've said.

question -- My doc (pcp) told me that I have fibro but never performed that tender point test or ran anything. He just listened to all of my really weird symptoms and told me that must be what it is (AFTER I had told him I was suspicious that's what it could be...up till then, he blew me off). What do I do now?? Since he hasn't "tested" me or anything, should I go see him again? A rheumatologist?
Endometriosis since 2002 diagnosis via laparoscopy
5 laparoscopies for Endometriosis from 2002 - present
Anxiety since 2004
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder since 2005
GERD since 2008
Fibromyalgia since 2008
Colonoscopy - 2008
Endoscopy (EGD) - 2008
 
Currently in Physical Therapy for Pelvic Floor spasms. Also for lower back, hip & thigh muscular problems.
 
* Baclofen
* Xanax for Anxiety
* Fish Oil Capsules
* Iron Pills
 
!!! At my wit's end with being "broken" !!!
 

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