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Corrie_1
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 12/12/2008 2:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Oigh! so things have been crazy for me... I don't have a computer anymore... don't have any money (down to 2 dollars) my common law boyfriend won't sign for me to go on wellfare.. we might or might not make rent.. have no heat and we're fighting so bad I might move out.
 
I'm going to try and stick it out with him untill after the new year... (I mean what is my other choice I'm finacially dependant on him at the moment until my disability money comes in) I just can't believe after 4 1/2 years he could end up treating me so bad just because I'm not working or "contributing" enough.. he's down right rude and then when my only chance to even contribute through wellfare he said he was too proud to do that.
 
But where does that leave me? I have nothing... I'm sick.. my anxiety is bad... i hurt... I'm cold and miserable... I might go stay with a friend if things get any worst... I know he's just insecure about the situation we're in... but he doesn't have to be so mean to me... i mean he's started drinking more now too and we just don't have the money :( Besides being emotionally draining on me... I have no complaints with him. I want it to work out... I just think I need to think of myself in this situation.. I'm not well on any level and right now he's more of detriment to me than a support....
 
So now I'm screwed financially... screwed in my relationship... screwed with my health and not sure which way to go.
 
Who knew life could be so wonderful?
 
I'm hoping things all work out :D Just thought I'd drop in and let you guys know what's up :)
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008
 
Gabapentin 300mg/Paroxetine 40mg/Armitriptyline 40mg to help me sleep and anxiety 
 
Lorazepan... when things get real bad.
And I'm not fond of people who don't label pill bottles.
                                                                                                                 
 
 


Sera Smiles
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 12/12/2008 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and I am glad you posted- all I want to say right now in light of your post- you say you may leave if things get worse? I'm not being flip when I ask you- how CAN things get worse? If you have respect for your health, leave NOW. Pack essentials only and go elsewhere. Don't even spend time writing a response. Get going and be safe. Work out the little things later. Go.
 "It's never too late to be who you might have been"  George Eliot
 
Dx FM- 2003
Rx Meds- Ultram, Buspar, Flexeril, Toprol, Cymbalta,
OTC meds- Benadryl, Claritin, Melatonin, Valerian, B Complex, Multi Vitamin
 
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 12/12/2008 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Corrie, you don't need that @## in your life. Don't ever stick around a man like that thinking he will change as soon as things gets better. Go to your friends where it is warm. If nothing else go to a women's shelter. I don't know where you live but there  has to be emergency help of some kind you can get through the state.
 
Good luck.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


jewelrylady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 12/13/2008 1:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Corrie,
  I agree, it is time for you to leave that situation.  Please, don't stay there because you think if I was working things would be different.  If I can contribute financially, things would be different.  If I were healthy, things would be different.  Those thoughts are not true.  Many women live in that situation but are married & have children to think about.   You can leave & still try to work it out but only once you are in a better place for you.  And where you feel good about yourself.   If he acts this way now he isn't going to change at least not right away & not real soon.  Pack a bag & go.  Take care of yourself first & then get yourself lined out financially & emotionally.  Then think of taking babysteps to rebuild the relationship if that is what you still want.  Please, take care of you.  We will be here for you.  Love & hugs, Denise

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, depression

Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren.


Corrie_1
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 12/13/2008 10:35 AM (GMT -7)   
The problem right now is that I shouldn't have to leave the house... technically and we rent... everything is all in my name... the place, the bills the credit card... he should actually leave the house to me because ultimatly if things don't work out I'm going to be the one who absorbs any debt we have. There are pretty much zero places to rent and if I was to lose this place, I doubt I'd find another place in the town I live in. I'm going to have a serious chat with my landlord... I know I should leave my bf as soon as possible... but I have to make sure all the loose ends are dealt with.

He went out drinking last night and passed out in the bathroom (with what money??)... I went and stayed with a girlfriend last night where it was warm (yay!) I know I shouldn't have to put most of my energy into keeping my bf happy... but technically I won't make rent this month until his cheque comes in... and if I do tell him I'm leaving him.. he'll probablly ditch me with the bill.

That's where talking to my landlord is important

*sigh*

My life is on giant crazy adventure every turn I make.

:D Things can always get better from here though :D
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008
 
Gabapentin 300mg/Paroxetine 40mg/Armitriptyline 40mg to help me sleep and anxiety 
 
Lorazepan... when things get real bad.
And I'm not fond of people who don't label pill bottles.
                                                                                                                 
 
 


springfling
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 519
   Posted 12/13/2008 12:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Corrie,

I know where you are coming from. I have a sister who is right now going thru the same. She has Fibro & Rheumatoid Arthritis. Her ex-hubby drinks and is downright mean to her, but she stays for the money.

The thing is....she is just hurting herself more. Her pain is worse when they argue, or when she worries about money, etc. She is waiting on her court date for disability and keeps saying when it comes through she'll be able to leave.

It drives me crazy because I know she has other places for her and the kids to go, at least until she has money to support herself. Every day things just get worse and I see how badly she is feeling.

Please don't let things get so bad that you have to suffer. There are places you can go and people that will help you. I hope things get better for you. Please keep us posted when you can.

Hugs!!  Margie


Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis*Sleep Apnea*Restless Leg Syndrome * Depression*Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus


Corrie_1
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 12/13/2008 12:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Margie...

Your post really touched me... my bf is sleeping still... still drunk actually I know my pain is worst when I'm stressed... that's what so hard about this.

I'm going to leave him... I've made up my mind... I just need to approach this with as much caution as possible.
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008
 
Gabapentin 300mg/Paroxetine 40mg/Armitriptyline 40mg to help me sleep and anxiety 
 
Lorazepan... when things get real bad.
And I'm not fond of people who don't label pill bottles.
                                                                                                                 
 
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 12/13/2008 3:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Is your name on the lease or are both of you on the lease??? If your landlord knows your situation he might let you out of the lease. Set a date to have the utilities shut off and taken out of your name. Credit cards of course your responsible for if they are in your name unless he used them without your knowledge or permission. Your probably not going to get out of it without owing for the bills that have already accurred but it would be worth it.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


springfling
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 519
   Posted 12/13/2008 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   

Corrie,

I am glad that you have decided to get out of the bad situation you are in. You don't deserve that & later you will feel so much better. It is very hard to make yourself leave. I think we view our relationships as security. We are so used to having someone there and supporting us that the thought of being on our own is very scary.

I really believe that in time you will be so much better off. Just be strong and think things through. Marlee gave you great advice on checking with the landlord & other things. You may second guess yourself & worry you're not doing the right thing, but keep telling yourself that you are making your life better. It will get better, just take one day at a time!

Come back anytime to talk or let us know how you are doing. Good luck with everything.

Hugs!!   Margie


Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis*Sleep Apnea*Restless Leg Syndrome * Depression*Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus

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