"Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live." Robert F. Kennedy
Post Edited (KerriH) : 12/22/2008 6:03:03 PM (GMT-7)
Thank you all for your kind support. I appreciate your encouragement and reassurrance.
I am surprised that I am letting lack of money bother me, especially when it comes to buying material goods for my children. I preach and practice it all day long to my kids, about how life is not about stuff. We are very frugal in my home, we help out charities, talk often about true poverty whenever my 10 year old feels short-changed for not having something his friends have (the latest was telling him of people in Haiti who are eating patties made out of dirt, butter and salt for dinner). So, my deep down frustration really surprises me...and bothers me.
I guess it must be conditioning, after years of hearing about how # or cost of gifts = love (or having it implied every holiday season). And, while I rebel against it, every year I feel this strange guilt, like my kids' christmas is going to be awful because I didn't get the big game system or because a few years ago we imposed a strict limit on the # gifts, after realizing that I worked more hours to pay for some gifts than my children spent playing with them. I know how ridiculous this feeling of guilt is, yet it nags at me anyway
Heather, you are right, there is no shame in a small Christmas. I hope you and your family have a good holiday. You should feel proud that you are doing what you need to to care for your family.
Kerri, this year was a very simple Christmas for me also and it turned out fine. We celebrated last weekend.
The weather has been "extreme" here in Minnesota also. Very cold, with 35 below wind chills. We have not had this cold of weather this time of year since I can remember. But to be without electricity is a whole other story! I have heard all about it on the news and talk about bad timing, right at the holidays. Mother nature can be cruel. Hope hubby is doing OK from his bad reaction. I am "that" allergic to cats also. My throat closes! I have almost been to the ER a few times in my lifetime.
Please don't feel guilty about all of this- it sounds like you are a very generous person and want to give lots and lots! Just not this year-
Hope you and your family have a "nice" Christmas in spite of everything that has happened. Your in my thoughts-
my family literally dispensed with the presents last year- im 28 and my sister is 26 and my parents said, NO- we dont need anything, lets keep it simple. and its true, we dont need anything, so instead, we give the money we would spend on gifts to charity. im not going to lie, its not as fun when the xmas tree is bare underneath, but we as a society are so materialistic. we get presents for the kids in our family, but we keep it to a budget.
im from a blue collar family that was very careful with money as a kid, but our christmases were always great- mum would sew us dolls and dad would handcraft 'treasure chests' to keep our diaries and letters and journals in- they bought us gifts we could share, like books etc. i never felt we went without- my parents did the best they could and i love them for it.
It is only natural that you feel frustrated that you can't buy your family all of the things you want. I would be the same way. I can only imagine your frustration. It sounds llike you are doing everything possible to make sure your family is together for this holiday, and ultimately that is the only thing you can control.
Good luck, I am sorry that this has happened to you at this time of year. Continue being a loving mom and wife, things will work out for the best if you continue to believe.