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Schnook
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 12/24/2008 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
I am new to fibromyalgia and still learning about it. I am 35 years old and I am married and have 3 children, a 13 year old a 10 year old and a 4 year old. I run an in-home child care and I am tired ALOT! I joined to maybe get a little support and educate myself with people who deal with this every day. My husband is really not wanting to accept that this is the illness that I have and so I have recently called my primary doctor to see about seeing a different specialist for a second opinion. I have been through all of the blood work and ruled everything else out. What prompted me to go to the doctor originally is because I was exhausted, and did not feel well at all (joint pain, muscle soreness that is sensitive to the touch etc.). My younger sister was diagnosed with fibro and encouraged me to get it checked out. My blood work came back good on everything except for being a little elevated on Lupus. The doctor ruled Lupus out and finally decided I had fibro.

My husband hates that I have this, or the possibility of me having this, and the fact that it may change (and has some already) our way of living. I feel depressed, guilty and useless, and most of all OLD! C

So, he has encouraged me to get a second opinion. I have been trying to learn as much as I can, and my doctor gave me a little booklet on fibro, and I fit everything. I find myself being defensive when he talks with me about having fibro. and trying to figure out if I have been misdiagnosed and what else it could be. He is hoping that I do not have it or that it will just go away. He took me on a trip to Mexico, which was nice and relaxing, in hope that it would "cure" me. I fell so sad.

Any advice or discussion would be appreciated!!

Thanks!!

Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17097
   Posted 12/24/2008 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Schnook, and welcome!  I'm so glad to joined us.  I'm sorry we have to meet this way but I think we can help you.  You have come to a great forum!  We have wonderful people here with good ideas that will help you live a full and enjoyable life with fibromyalgia.  The bonus is that we really do care about each other.
 
Be sure to check out the Fibro 101 thread...the second thread on the forum.  There are links to good info about fibromyalgia...including a list of symptoms and also a list of good stretching exercises that really do help.  There is also a link called, "Doctor's Respond to New York Times Article" that helps to explain this illness to people that have a hard time understanding it...like your husband.
 
I take ibuprofen (with food) and Tylenol to help my pain and I also take malic acid/magnesium supplements for pain and fatigue.  These have helped me but they don't help everyone.  There is a link in the Fibro 101 thread all about them.  Read about them and how they work in our body and see what you think!
 
Moist heat is wonderful for fibro.  Hot showers really help.  Some here have something called a Bed Buddy.  You put it in the microwave and then it gives off moist heat.  You can find them at Walgreen's and other places.  You can make your own, too!  You can take a tube sock, fill it 2/3's full of uncooked long grain rice (not instant) and then tie a knot on the end.  You microwave this and it will give off moist heat!
 
You need to keep moving with fibro.  If you sit or lay too much, you will be stiff as a board and also in more pain.  The gentle stretching exercises help keep those muscles stretched.  Also walking is wonderful and, if you have access to a pool, water exercises help. 
 
You need to pace yourself, too.  You can't do what you used to do in the same amount of time.  It takes me several days to clean my home.  The work gets done but not in the same timeframe.  Your body will tell you if you've done too much...trust me on that one!  shocked    You will learn what you can and cannot do to help with your pain and fatigue.
 
Having fibro isn't fun but it isn't the end of the world either!  I have had fibro for 21 years and have had a wonderful life so far.  I've traveled around the world and I haven't let fibro get in the way.  You can always find ways around fibro to do the things you want to do.  We can help in that department, too.  Besides, a positive attitude and a good sense of humor really help with this illness.  You will get doses of both on this forum.
 
Be sure to read back posts and ask questions!  That's what we are here for.  I'm so glad you found us and I hope to hear more from you soon.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 12/24/2008 11:58 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello Schnook,

Nice to meet you!  You will meet some amazing people on this website with enormous hearts.  Sherrine has given you wonderful advice.

One thing I will say is that Fibromyalgia is not a death sentence (a great saying that I am borrowing from another member).  It truly effects everyone differently.  I still work full time in a professional environment, care for my 2 children, am an active and loving wife, I clean, cook, do yard work, etc.  I shoveled snow the other day.  Your activity level may be higher or lower than mine.  The therapy I use to treat my fibro is to keep moving and stay focused on other things.  Yes, I hurt and I'm exhausted.  But, my life is not over. 

I understand how you and your husband must feel.  My husband and I were both petrified when I was diagnosed.  I felt guilty when I was diagnosed, like I was ruining our marriage and keeping our dreams from coming true.  But, I have stayed determined to fight it with everything I have and I am truly doing fine in spite of my fatigue and pain.

If you ever need talk, please feel free to post again.

Take care and happy holidays,

Kerri 


Kerri

Fibromyalgia

"Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live."
Robert F. Kennedy 

 



K9
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 12/24/2008 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and welcome to the site,

It's really sad to hear that your husband is in some sort of denial about your disease. Remember that denial is one of the stages of grief, and grief is probably what he is experiencing. I think you said something about your way of life changing. Unfortunately, this is true. And it is indeed a loss - losses are much like a death, and must be grieved. (Anger is also a stage of grief, so be ready for that one too.)

It's too bad that folks look at fibromyalgia as though it's not a bona fide disease, and to be "acceptable" you have to have something else. Perhaps this will change in time.

Anyway, just keep in mind that your husband's reactions and feelings are *his own* and not yours. You spend your energy trying to reduce stress and pain! He can deal with his own feelings eventually. The more you take them on, the worse you'll feel anyway.

Take care and try to have a Merry Christmas,
Schutz
I have Fibromyalgia, and nothing else!
I take Lyrica 225 mg/day and Tramadol (150mg time-released)


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/24/2008 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to the site! You will find alot of advice, support, and things on here you need to know(as you already have!)

Sherrine said alot of wonderful stuff. I think its good that you want to get a second opinion, just to make sure, it cant hurt! Im 17, and I was diagnosed with fibro a year ago, and again yesterday! But, I diagnosed myself a few years ago! I have done alot of reading and studying up so...

When I told "one of my doctors" that I thought I had it, he put me on Lyrica. I take 225mg 2x/day. It helped my sleep alot, and I felt more energized because I was actually sleeping. It stills helps my sleep so I am still taking it.

There are different ways to approach Fibro. Everyone is different so you have to find what helps for you. As for your husband, I know what its like to have someone close to you not understand. My mom really doesnt! But, try talking ot him(I know you probably have), show him pamplets, take him to the doctor with you, get him involved in reading about it....anything like that. Its important that he be apart of your support team!

I have to go right now, but I hope you stick around! This place is GREAT for learning, talking, venting, and exploring! Take Care!
Lyrica and Paxil (both working quite well might I add!)
   "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
    "Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


Schnook
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 12/24/2008 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
KerriH said...
Hello Schnook,

Nice to meet you! You will meet some amazing people on this website with enormous hearts. Sherrine has given you wonderful advice.

One thing I will say is that Fibromyalgia is not a death sentence (a great saying that I am borrowing from another member). It truly effects everyone differently. I still work full time in a professional environment, care for my 2 children, am an active and loving wife, I clean, cook, do yard work, etc. I shoveled snow the other day. Your activity level may be higher or lower than mine. The therapy I use to treat my fibro is to keep moving and stay focused on other things. Yes, I hurt and I'm exhausted. But, my life is not over.

I understand how you and your husband must feel. My husband and I were both petrified when I was diagnosed. I felt guilty when I was diagnosed, like I was ruining our marriage and keeping our dreams from coming true. But, I have stayed determined to fight it with everything I have and I am truly doing fine in spite of my fatigue and pain.

If you ever need talk, please feel free to post again.

Take care and happy holidays,

Kerri


Hello Kerri,

Thanks for getting back with me. It's nice to hear from others so soon. I am just learning to use this site and so I think I clicked on the "ignore this person" button but I did not mean to (sorry) I back arrowed to reply to you.

I think what my husband fears the most is that he enjoys going to clubs, bars and dancing. He does not want those to end, but I find that I do not enjoy those places as much as I used to, plus I am sort of hurting alot. I find that the noise and commotion makes me anxious.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 12/25/2008 12:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Schnook: Your husband is likely to begin feeling consternation at what he sees as a loss of major role player, in his life. IF you "rest" alot, which is all I can do because I feel I have the flu, but no runnynose, sneezing, all that. It's just that it feels like every fibre of my being is screaming "leave me alone,"in harmony,  can't you see we're struggling over here". This is my Fibro Flare. Always like this, I know exactly why it's happening, and if it weren't for me, Chistmas would  have been and still could be, nothing but another windy, chilly day. I've has to lay on the ground 6 times to wire my muffler back on the car till I could get it fixed (cheques came early), properly.( You're all safe out there on the road, my muffler isn't going to come up and smash in the front of your car) So, with my greatest Santa present of all , my son up for several; days to take care of my Dad (Alzheimers) and let me off the hook. I have to time these flare-ups (as if only we could), to happen when there's a back-up person who can  take over and let me ache.However, I am older, have several other fairly inconvenient illness and you may take the high road and do the stay active, naturopathic management of your problem.

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


JCgurl
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 12/25/2008 6:58 PM (GMT -7)   
What a pleasure it is to meet you, Schnook!!

I am also very new to Fibromyalgia and this forum. I was only disgnosed with it 2 weeks ago!!!!!!! I have however been feeling the pain and side effects of it much longer though. I am so glad you joined us because it has been a help for me to be here and I'm sure it will be for you as well!!!! Just hang in there and once you learn some coping skills and talk about it a little bit more, you'll find it'll all help!! And I agree with Tyno3, you are a major role player to your husband... and he is going to learn how to cope just the same as you are! My husband doesn't quite know how to fathom the whole idea of me having Fibro either! (we were only married for almost 3 months now!!!) I feel like he is learning to understand it and ACCEPT it with each day, which is what your husband I'm sure will do as well. And if you fit that booklet that your doctor gave you, you probably do really have Fibro... it is a painful condition but the sooner you accept it (and I don't mean that harshly!) the sooner you will be on the road to get yourself the feelings of hope that you need!

I will always be here if you need me, and so will EVERYONE ELSE here!!! They are all so great!!
xoxo
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