A quiz for fibro-mites

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vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
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   Posted 1/4/2009 3:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Your two best buds call and think you will feel better if you power walk with them through a 500,000 square foot mall you:
1. laugh so hard you pee your pants a little
2. tell them your husband has Outer Mongolian Swamp Fever and he cannot be left alone
3. tell them you have finally managed to lose every pair of shoes you own and you aren't allowed to walk in the mall barefooted
4. tell them the truth...that you'd rather roll naked in a mound of screaming hot red ants then walk through a mall.
 
You have once again locked your keys in the car after dashing across the street to get a newspaper.  You:
1.  Pick up a huge rock and chuck it through the window.  That's why god invented comprehensive auto insurance
2.  You sit on the curb crying "help me...help me...I'm a fibromite".  Motorists pass by and don't know what a fibro mite is and toss you their lose change as they think you must be homeless and blind.
3.  You hire six street thugs to push your car home, which is only a mile away in exchange for a case of Molsons and a box of Cheetos.
4.  You hobble and gimp the mile home yourself, draw a hot bath, pop about six Advil then send the hubby for the vehicle.  Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!
 
You drive to the store for one item, a loaf of bread.  You:
1. stand in the entrance to the store and are totally ticked because they have moved all the merchandise around yet again.
2.  there doesn't seem to be any carts so you leave
3.  you have a major panic attack because NOTHING looks familiar and where's the food?
4.  You hop on a John Deere tractor and have a melt down because you are in Sears
 
You DD is getting married and wants the mother of the bride to wear an 80 pound gold lamee dress.  You tell her:
 
1.  Are you ^@$&% serious?
2.  What do you think I am, a *&$#@ pack mule?
3.  Gold lamee in August?  Not in my lifetime
4.  You agree to at least try on the dress, drop to the floor, crack both knees and scream for a morphine patch
 
You have been abducted by aliens and they want your fibro-blood to inject into their enemies from the planet Zorcon.  You:
 
1.  look around the mother ship, see that it looks rather comfy and organized and agree to give them all the blood they want if they will take you with them
2.  tell them they can have your blood if they can find a vein that hasn't collapsed
3.  tell them to put some clothes on immediately or you won't agree to anything, as you feel yourself getting a tiny bit 'turned on'.
4.  tell the one with the head the size of a hassock to 'pull your finger.'  Fibro gas is deadly and while they are all choking, run like the wind!
 
The hubby decides to stimulate your fibro brain, by lecturing you on the five dimensions of inner dementional space.
1.  You discover it IS possible to sleep for two hours with your eyes open
2.  you tell him you already experienced the five dimensions of inner space at Woodstock
3.  while is is blabbering, you wonder if it would kill you to eat three bags of chocolate chips
4.  you thank him for the lecture, then take out your 'everything over $5000' catalog and make him look at handbags and shoes for three hours.
 
You are driving to your sister's house on a route you have taken many times before.  On the radio is a song by Rusty Ice Pick who is screaming something about whacking up his old lady with a hatchet. Everytime you try to turn the stupid thing off, the windshield wipers go on, or the head lights.  But now you are lost.  You:
 
1.  Stop the car where a man with a bad hair drape and a tee shirt that reads 'I'm with Stupid' is weed whacking his ditch, and ask how you get back to the highway. He shrugs his shoulders and says "what highway?"
2.  You call your sister to tell her you will be late.  On the other end you hear what sounds like a fraternity party and realize you have forgotten her number.
3.  You throw the stupid, useless cell phone out of the car and back over it about ten times.
4.  You turn around, see a bar called The last Resort, go inside and scarf down some jello shooters with some Harley Boys.
 
The answers to this quiz will be in next weeks Wall Street Journal on page 45.
 
I got none of them right!  Where am I?  Where's all my %$^&^ shoes?
 
donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium

Post Edited (vestabula) : 1/4/2009 3:38:17 PM (GMT-7)


vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 1/4/2009 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Nobody want to take my very scientific quiz?  It will be featured in next Months issue of 'Fibromyalgia..What The Heck Is That' magazine.

While I'm here, I have noticed that it feels like the tips of my fingers are numb...mainly my thumbs.  I actually stuck a pin in them and I have sensation, but this is a new one to me...anyone else?

donna

 



fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


pattipanda
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 1/4/2009 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Donna,
That was *2^(^n  hilarious!!!!!  Of course I got sidetracked about 57 times while I was reading it!!
Mall? Wattaya kiddin!!! Haven't been to a mall in about 7 years!!
Molsons and Cheetos!!
Where did you come up with this!!!
You're incredibly creative!!! smilewinkgrin
Patti 
Patti
 
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Heart Disease, Bi-lateral Carpel Tunnel.  (Still being tested for other disorders/or whatevers).


Nanda
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 1/4/2009 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
****F tongue   but wait! where is ".5 All of the above"
 
thank you,
Cynthia

springfling
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 519
   Posted 1/4/2009 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   

Donna,

My husband found me lying on the floor laughing after I read this, I acutally did do the first question, answer 1. When I looked up and said "help me, help me, I'm a fibromite", he didn't get it and just pulled me up and asked if I'd gotten some new medication. He went to bed mad.

Can't wait for next weeks answers, I think I got them all right!

Margie

 


Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis*Sleep Apnea*Restless Leg Syndrome * Depression*Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus*Menopause


K9
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 1/4/2009 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
That was really funny reading!

Unfortunately, none of the choices were my answer to any of the questions. But it was really fun to read.
I have Fibromyalgia, and nothing else!
I take Lyrica 225 mg/day and Tramadol (150mg time-released)


Ginny
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 1/4/2009 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh man, that was too fun!!!  I love your posts Donna.  I scared my cat when I laughed at the "Alien #3 and #4" question. Poor Willow took off like a shot! 
 
good times!
 
Oh, I agree with Cynthia.  There needs to be an "all of the above" option!
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

34 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
 
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Grailhunter
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 1/4/2009 7:55 PM (GMT -7)   
That was funny!!!! I think. I think. I think I am thinking.

I am no good at essay test though Donna. Can we make it multiple choice. please?

Where's the bread isle? Is that near gardening or electrical?
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, IBS, Diverticulitis, Costocondritis, Thorasic Degeneration, Mild Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, Mild Hilar Lymphodenopathy, Depression, Anxiety. Dyspnea. Disequilibrium.

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SleepyBug
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/4/2009 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   
omg this had me in STITCHES!!!

donna, you are the erma bombeck of the fibro world..

~danielle

donnaeil
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Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 1/4/2009 10:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Wonderful and very publishable
We should team u and write something since 2 half of 2 brains should equal something, right?

Donnaeil

vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 1/5/2009 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Donneil...I only wish I could sit long enough to finish my book.  First of all, my eyes blur within five or ten minutes of looking at print on the computer screen...moving objects or games don't do it...just writing.  I am through more than half of a book I really would like to finsih but between the RLS...fibro fog...pain in my hands...Oh, you know what I mean.  I am trying to think of something SHORT I can work on that doesn't take so much concentration.  My spelling has become unrecognizable and I find myself spending more time running grammer and spelling checkers than actually writing.  Oh well...we could probably write a doozy!

donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Nanda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 1/5/2009 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Donna,
have you considered Dragon Speak? It's a speech recognition program for those who need to use computers but can no longer use the key board for long periods. I knew a CPA who was trained on it and she said it was a blessing because it gave her life back to her. Just a thought as your writing is so wonderful, it'd be a shame for you to not  be able do it.
love and light,
Cynthia

kitkat67
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 1/5/2009 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I enjoyed it very much- like others though I too had to stop because my eyes go fuzzy after about 5 minutes of reading...the same line over and over!!
Thanks for the chuckle,
Kathy

ericsmom
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 1042
   Posted 1/5/2009 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   

Donna!!  I was too busy laughing to answer any of the questions tongue tongue tongue   

I will go back now, and do so!

Where am I going?  oh yeah..back to the top tongue


Fibromyagia, R/A, Diabetes, Atrial Fib, depression

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Some people dream of angels, I held one in my arms


vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 1/5/2009 9:04 AM (GMT -7)   

Nanda...I have tried voice recognition software after months of frustration trying to be comfortbale at the computer...it turns out you use a different part of your brain to speak, and other part to actually type what you are thinking.  Most of my author friends cannot use those programs because of that fact and it's too bad.  I would love to be able to just talk and have it type.  I have a friend with arthritis that sits in a chair and 'pretends' to be typing and talks into one of those small voice recorder-thingys, then has someone else type what he has said.  But his writing is technical and doesn't have to be that creative.  I am going to finish my book, no matter what it takes...just have to get out of this flare and fog first.  Thanks for the advice, however.  I appreciate your thoughtfulness.  (is that a word..LOL...is it spelled right?)

hugs

donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Nanda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 101
   Posted 1/5/2009 9:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Donna,
I'm sorry to hear that! I feel for you as I do digital artwork (3d visualization and 2d digital painting) and there are times when using my tools is just impossible for me.
Cynthia

Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
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   Posted 1/5/2009 9:50 AM (GMT -7)   
I want to know what institution your in that they allow you access to a computer Donna??? devil
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
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vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 1/5/2009 10:42 AM (GMT -7)   

Marlee...there are institutions for people like me???  And how would you know that??? devil   Do these so called institutions do your laundry, make sure your shoes are on the right feet, never let you drive without a buddie and feed you chocolate through an IV?  Forget the Bahama's...I'm going there!

donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Statgeek
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 1/5/2009 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Wait, what was the question??? Bread - oh was that what I came here for . . . The guy with the weedwacker says he doesn't sell bread, but he did help me push the car to my sister's!
Sue

Meggie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 408
   Posted 1/5/2009 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   

This is not a quiz for you to read at work smilewinkgrin .  Everyone is looking at me because I can't stop laughing.  Oh well, they already think I'm crazy.

Thanks for the laugh and don't give up on that book. 

 


Meggie
 
Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Restless Leg Syndrome, Migraines
42 year old proud mom of three daughters

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