How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

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SleepyBug
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   Posted 1/14/2009 11:52 AM (GMT -7)   
hi everyone!

this was posted over on the Anxiety and Panic forum and i just HAD to share it with all of you. (fibromites need laughter, too!) a big thanks to ashleyf3 for posting this!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice !
3. Every Time Someone Asks You Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13 . Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK U P A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
love and hugs
~danielle

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.
~rumi


getting by
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Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/14/2009 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
That was cute Dannielle,

Thank you for the laugh. And I was LOL.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


pattipanda
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   Posted 1/14/2009 12:05 PM (GMT -7)   

LOL... I would like to use #13 on our youngest daughter.. she'll break the bank if you let her.  Oh wait a minute... the kids are all grown and gone.  Can I still use that one?? LOL!!!

turn
Patti
 
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown


TeNNiSd0C09
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 1/14/2009 12:07 PM (GMT -7)   
haha, thanks, this was hilarious! My teacher and friends are probably wondering why Im laughing so loudly.... lol
Lyrica and Paxil (both working quite well might I add!)
   "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
    "Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 1/14/2009 1:16 PM (GMT -7)   

I go to the anxiety forum all the time and missed that one...Duh!  Thanks for the laugh!

donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Mizzbeeutiful
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 1/14/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
LOL good post, thanks needed that.

Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/14/2009 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
ROFLMBO and I have even read them before. I wonder what Ken thinks sometimes when I'm sitting here laughing hysterically.
 
No kidding I'm using #13 on granddaughter. If I hear "but it doesn't look good enough for me to use in my apartment and it's the wrong color" one more time I'm going to lose it with her.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
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Binki
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 386
   Posted 1/14/2009 2:16 PM (GMT -7)   
redface  OMG!   How funny...
 
Can I try #13, Haaa-Haaa!(that would be for my 16yr old stepson)
I know my husband would try #14.  He is such a joker.... smilewinkgrin
 
Thanx for the Laugh, I sure needed it today!
 
Hugs,
Lori
 


jewelrylady
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Date Joined Jun 2008
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   Posted 1/14/2009 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
danielle, thank you, thank you, thank you.  It is always so good for the spirit to laugh.  They were so funny, thank you for sharing it with us.  love & hugs, Denise

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, depression, TMJ

Meds: Ibuprofen 600mg every 4-6 hours, Cyclobenzaprine 10 mg, Simvastatin 20mg, Citaloram 20mg Melatonin 5mg Sublingual, B12 sublingual, B Complex, Folic Acid, Omega 3

Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren

As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11


dolphinfire
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Date Joined Jan 2009
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   Posted 1/14/2009 2:45 PM (GMT -7)   
that was just too funny turn

GamJill
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Date Joined Jun 2008
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   Posted 1/15/2009 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Danielle, thanks for the laugh this morning!
 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  


WyldOrchid5150
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 1/15/2009 8:54 AM (GMT -7)   
That is just to funny,the bad part is my husband has done most of those!He is such a trip.We were in Wal-Mart and I had to get some toliet paper,and he stood there and in his best 'Slingblade' voice debated weather or not to get single ply or double ply.I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants.
Fibro,Heart Disease,Diabetes other assorted.
    Shin:A device used for finding funiture in the dark                             Men are like bank accounts....without alot of money they don't generate much interest!


dolphinfire
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 120
   Posted 1/15/2009 8:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like things my hubby would do to, especially if he is trying to embarrass me.
Fibro, interstitial cystitis, migraines, rotated femur, bunion on rt ft, hiatal hernia, for just a few.

reglan, prilosec otc, nadol, citrilipram, flexeril, and peroxicam, and Tylenol.


SleepyBug
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:03 AM (GMT -7)   
my hubby does things like that, too. in fact, i asked him and he said he would totally do #14, but to make it even worse, he said not only would he ask for a fitting room, he would also walk away, then go back up to the counter and say "i definitely need a bigger size!"rolleyes

of course, i told him that if he EVER did that while he was with me, i would pull a #4 on him!! devil
love and hugs
~danielle

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.
~rumi


WyldOrchid5150
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:17 AM (GMT -7)   
We have a really messed up household.My husband has night terrors and sleep issues.Like the other night(I've been dealing with this for 14 yrs.now,so I'm kinda used to it)he sits bolt upright in bed,jerks all the covers off me and hollars'Did you see those turkeys!?'And with all the love and caring that comes with living with a crazy man for to long I said as I retreved my covers'yes,dear,and I've shooed them all away'. He went right back to sleep.

Fibro,Heart Disease,Diabetes other assorted.
    Shin:A device used for finding funiture in the dark                             Men are like bank accounts....without alot of money they don't generate much interest!


MT Lady
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 1/15/2009 12:44 PM (GMT -7)   
bless your heart, WyldOrchid...you brought tears to my eyes...
Miriam

Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.


WyldOrchid5150
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 1/15/2009 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
you oughta hear the one about the night he was dreaming that his mama had caught a possum......

Fibro,Heart Disease,Diabetes other assorted.
    Shin:A device used for finding funiture in the dark                             Men are like bank accounts....without alot of money they don't generate much interest!


AustenFan
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Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 1/15/2009 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
That is too funny!  My teenage daughter wants to order diet water the next time we go to a restaurant. smilewinkgrin
 
Marlee, I had to ask my daughter what ROFLMBO meant.  I'm so behind the times.  devil
 
Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
Fibromyalgia, 2 back surgeries, Meniere's Disease, 30+ kidney stones, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Allergies, Endometriosis, Heart Arrythmia, Myofascial Pain, TMJ.
 
 
 
 
 
 


SleepyBug
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/16/2009 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
i shared this list with a friend of mine, and she had one to add.

so..how to maintain a level of insanity #15:

go to the grocery store and fill your cart with booze and a package of diapers. wait until everything is all rung up, then say "oh-i don't have enough money on me for all of this" and put the diapers back.
love and hugs
~danielle

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.
~rumi

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