In the Valley of Denial

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 376
   Posted 1/14/2009 9:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi guys.  I was wondering if it would be OK if I hang out with you guys.  I like this forum and can relate so well to many of the topics.  I don't have Fibro and honestly I don't think I have a clue what the pain is like.  I do have Lyme and the fun things that go with it - especially fatigue, malaise, and brain fog.  Like most of you I've known for a long time that something was wrong.  I was beginning to think I had Chronic Fatigue that would never be diagnosed.  My persistence and support from my ARNP led me to a great Fatigue/Fibro doc who has seen enough Lyme to figure it out.
A little about me - I'm Rich, 58 - we live in western WA and it's not raining today.  tongue    We are a blended family with kids and grandkids.
I worked until Dec. when I finally just crashed from the fatigue, mental fog, and just not being able to handle any more med side effects.  Spent a few days in the hospital.  The Lyme was just confirmed as CDC positive and at least we can treat the causes now. 
I think I'm taking the same journey as many of you - due to cognitive function and psych problems (anxiety, depression) it'll be months before I can maybe return to work.  If I can, it may be at a less demanding position.  So does it just take a while for all this to sink in? 
To show how bad my denial is - last Thurs I had a major Herx reaction.  Short term memory was bad, I couldn't follow a conversation unless I gave it my full attention, and I was confused.  I still won't drive cause I feel impaired.  And while all that was going on, I was like, OK, so how am I going to rehab mentally and physically and get back to work.
So I'm trying to find my way thru the Valley of Denial.  I assume that this is one of those things where Time will work it's magic and I'll be able to accept what's happening?
Anyways, good to meet you.  And thanks for letting me get all of this out.
Lyme, anxitey, depression, chronic C. Pnuemoniae

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/14/2009 9:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Rich: You're right the Fibro Forum is a very ;ively forum. I belong to two others but here is where I get my chuckles. Laughing is healthy. It burns calories and releases bably needed endorphins. Also, if you have pain, there's some good info in Fibro 101, 2nd post from top. good luck.

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 1/14/2009 10:21 PM (GMT -6)   
hi rich,

welcome aboard! this is a great place to come and "hang out" so to speak-so many wonderful people around here :-) i definitely understand fatigue and brain fog (i understand the latter far too well, i'm afraid..) and i, too, have anxiety. i wouldn't say i'm totally lost in the valley of denial completely anymore (it took me a few years to get out of it, though) but i do still struggle with denial. there are days when i just don't want to deal with all of it anymore, you know?

anyway. i'm glad you've found us!
love and hugs

this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out for some new delight.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 519
   Posted 1/14/2009 10:25 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Rich & Welcome,

This is a great place to hang out! Everyone here is just so great and someone is always there when you need it most.

I am also going thru tough times with my meds and work. I am actually lucky in my office job because I can pretty well set my own hours. It is a slow time right now, so I answer a work cell at home on Monday & Wednesdays and then I go into the office on Fridays. Even that is almost too much for me anymore.

I am having many problems with concentration & memory. Also, fatigue has about knocked me down. Right now I am hoping to get things to a place where I can at least get thru each day halfway normal.

By the way, I am from central Illinois, we just got 6" of snow yesterday and a wind chill warning for the next 2 days. Suppose to have wind chills up to -25, so just staying in by the fireplace and trying to keep warm. I've heard of many places so much colder right now, but this is enough for me!

Sorry, for some reason I am in a talkative mood tonight. Take care & hope you enjoy the forum!


Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis Of Spine*Sleep Apnea*RLS * Depression*Chronic Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus*Menopause

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 368
   Posted 1/14/2009 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   

I just wanted to say Hi and also I do not drive as I cant concentrate and dont trust myself.  Im so tired all the time.

Anyways this is a really nice group and its so good to be a part of it.  sue2z smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin

Fibromyalgia, ulcerative colonitus, arthritus, bi-polar
norspan patch, valium, prothiedon, lyrica

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 1/14/2009 11:27 PM (GMT -6)   

I tend to be in denial sometimes, too.  This morning I thought the flare I've had since May was finally subsiding, but not true.  When I got home tonight, I was in tears.  That is after walking a little more than my prescribed 20 minutes a day and a two hour commute.  Sheesh!  A full 20 minutes!  I guess something like that will pull you out of denial right away.

Glad to meet you Rich.  Sorry to have to meet you here.  These are great folks.



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/15/2009 12:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Rich and welcome!

We must be neighbors because I too am in Western Washington...NW of Gig Harbor out in the woods We are the same age and have the same type of family is sounds like. Kids, grandkids, extras of each that we are family to...lots of love and life around here.

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I too had to stop work last June per doc's orders. Just too many days where the pain got the worst of me, too many days of sick leave when I never ever had to take sick days before, and too much brain fog to function at a level I should. I broke my heart to have to stop but I knew the doc was right. So now I fill my days with trying to keep the house as tidy as I can, kids/grandkids, and quilting...among other camping! We're headed out to a campground at Ocean City come this weekend.

We'd love to have you hang out here. It's a warm and caring place in the sea of pain. Have you ever been evaluated for fibro? Many people who have suffered with lyme disease have also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It's something to consider. Either way you are welcome here. You understand the symptoms we all have in common. Join us for our daily Koffee Klatch! It's a blast and a bit of time we are diverted from thinking of only pain.

Glad you are on board,
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40386
   Posted 1/15/2009 12:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Rich,

And welcome to the fibromyalgia forum. You have already received a lot of information about things on here. There is the fibro101 thread that is very interesting as was mentioned. And also was mentioned the humor that we try to keep going. We try to do that because it takes our minds off of our pain and fatigue. And it is healthy for you.

I am sure that you will like it here, this is a wonderful forum.

When you first posted and said "I'm Rich" I though that you meant you were rich. I didn't know if you were bragging or complaining. LOL... Then I thought about it a minute and it finally hit me. Talk about fibrofog.

I hope that you have a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 716
   Posted 1/15/2009 2:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Rich, how nice to meet you.  I truly understand the denial.  I have one of the best denial systems in place & use it often.  It took me a long time to finally admit that I had Fibro & that I wasn't going to be able to figure it out & find a cure so I could go on with my life.  I remember telling my dausghter right after I was dx'd "just because I have Fibromyalgia doesn't mean my life is going to change."  Well, she looked at me like I was nuts because my life already changed dramatically.  I'd had to quit my job, I was in pain, fatigued, depressed, unsure of the futere & I was still saying nothing is going to change.  When I look back at those times I have to laugh.  It took me some time but I finally said "uncle".  It is so much better to try to live with the illness then to work against it.  When I read you post it really made me remember being dx'd & the denial which comes up so fast, a good survival skill in the right places.  Try to relax, come here to talk & laugh & life will go on.  Welcome to our group.  Hugs, Denise 

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, depression, TMJ

Meds: Ibuprofen 600mg every 4-6 hours, Cyclobenzaprine 10 mg, Simvastatin 20mg, Citaloram 20mg Melatonin 5mg Sublingual, B12 sublingual, B Complex, Folic Acid, Omega 3

Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren

As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 1/15/2009 10:42 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome Rich!!

I've been where you are today.. 4 times!!!  Its gonna take time but you'll get better.  Hopefully you won't have any on going issues.  Ultimatly I wound up with Fibromyalgia, I'm not how and when it all started but I DO know how you feel.

I can totally relate to your denial thing,,, I just got diagnosed with FM and I think I've had it for about 30 years.  No one wants to be sick so its totally natural to deny it

Take care of yourself and you're always welcome here.


Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 1/15/2009 10:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Chutz, we are coming to visit you tomorrow! My mother in law lives in Port Orchard and her brother lives in Gig Harbor. We are flying up there to visit them tomorrow. I asked to go to Pike's Market one day because that was really cool last time. I'll wave at ya while there.

Karen, I thought the same thing - that Rich was rich! ha ha. great minds think alike. gmta.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17055
   Posted 1/15/2009 1:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Rich, and welcome!  Yes, we do have a great forum here.  We have wonderful people that will help you live a full and enjoyable life.  As Chutz suggested, you might want to be checked for fibro, too.  You can have both.  But, I'm glad you are getting help for your Lyme.  That's a miserable illness I understand.  Also, have you checked out our Lyme forum here on HealingWell?  They have a good group over there, too.  You can be on both of them.
So, jump in and join the crowd!  We will help one another get through this.  Your denial will be come acceptance and you will be able to face your illness head on and defeat it!  You want control of your health...not let your health control you.  We can help you find ways around it so you can continue to live your life the way you want to. 
I'm glad you joined us and I hope to hear more from you soon.

Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 120
   Posted 1/15/2009 2:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Fibro, interstitial cystitis, migraines, rotated femur, bunion on rt ft, hiatal hernia, for just a few.

reglan, prilosec otc, nadol, citrilipram, flexeril, and peroxicam, and Tylenol.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 1/16/2009 12:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Stat,

I live near Pike's Place. I will meet you there.

Welcome Rich.


Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 1/16/2009 2:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Rich!!! :-)
Glad you have found us, we're great people to hang out with smilewinkgrin
I can definately relate to your brain foginess!!!! And I too have been down the road of denial (haven't we all??)
Take care!!
21 years old
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar Disorder, OCD, Irrational fears
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