Jenna...All I can say is that I suffered from agoraphobia for many years and I ALWAYS had to have a 'safe' person around me at all times. When my husband went to work, I would look outside and see if there was anyone else home in the neighborhood 'in case of a panic attack emergency'. When my parents moved out of town I really paniked. I had three small children and was afraid to drive them alone in the car...got to the point that if my husband was outside and I couldn't see him, would go out and follow him around. (this all happened during my first marriage). They didn't call it Dependent Personality Disorder...they called it agoraphobia because I wouldn't go into stores alone, drive alone and felt disoriented out of my own house.
Don't know if this is what you are experiencing, but after my divorce, it slowly dissipated even though there are still times I panic if the second hubby is several hours late from work or something. I discovered through therapy that my first husband actually made the condition worse because he had no sympathy for it and would purposely do things like send me into a store, then take off to 'get the car washed' or something without telling me, thinking this would 'snap me out of it.'
Jeesh, I think they have a disorder for everything!
I too was borderline agoraphobic like Donna when I was in my early twenties and did not want to be alone. Who does when you don't know why your having all this anxiety and think your going crazy??? Once I got help and realized what it was, it became easier and easier for me. Now, if I am feeling OK mentally and physically I have no problem being alone. When the fibro first hit me last winter I was very, very sick and I did not want to be left alone and now that I have my health back it is not a problem.
You have been through alot. Be gentle on yourself and let us know how you are doing-
I have heard of folks who cannot be alone. I'm quite the opposite. I like my private time and space. However, I heard a story which your post reminded me of. There was an elderly woman, say eightyish, and she was married to a man 20 years her junior, and she swore elves were sneaking in at night and moving things around so she couldn't find anything. She was thought to have the Paranoid Personality disorder, and started complaining to police and doctors and so on about elves coming in the night. Well hubby, absolutely backed her up saying he'd seen them, himself. He was thought to have Dependent Personality. I wouldn't worry to much unless you find yourself seeking anybody, non-discriminatorily, (whew, is that a word? ), accepting any old bodys presence to feel OK.