when you go to see the rheumatologist...

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ivy6
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   Posted 1/27/2009 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Is it just the first appointment you don't wear make-up for, or is it all of them?

Ta,

I.
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bektold
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 456
   Posted 1/27/2009 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow, I've never heard that, and I've been seeing a Rheumatologist for a year and a half now.  Maybe no one mentioned it because I never wear make up.  But I've seen two different Rheumatologists, and you'd think someone would have at least said something before the initial appointments.

springfling
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   Posted 1/27/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Sorry, but I've never heard of it before either. I've been seeing my Rheumy for a year now. I don't wear alot of make up, but nothing was said about it. Maybe someone else knows something. Did your Rheumatologist office suggest no make up for your first appt.?

Margie


Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis Of Spine*Sleep Apnea*RLS * Depression*Chronic Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus*Menopause


ivy6
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   Posted 1/27/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
No, one of the mods here did. I forget who it was, but she said it was important for the rheumie to be able to see your skin.
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springfling
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   Posted 1/27/2009 9:02 PM (GMT -7)   

Well, that does make sense to me. I never thought about it in that way, but I guess it would be good for your first visit with him. All doctor's are different. I'd say go without or not much.

Hugs!!  Margie


Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis Of Spine*Sleep Apnea*RLS * Depression*Chronic Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus*Menopause


ivy6
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   Posted 1/27/2009 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Even for subsequent appointments? I've been seeing her for a year now.
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springfling
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   Posted 1/27/2009 9:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I wouldn't think so. Unless the doctor asks I don't see any reason for it.

Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis Of Spine*Sleep Apnea*RLS * Depression*Chronic Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus*Menopause


ivy6
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   Posted 1/27/2009 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Good. Why look sick when you can look pretty (well, prettier anyway)?
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Dagger
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   Posted 1/27/2009 11:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Some people believe that you shouldn't wear makeup because you should look as sick as you feel. If you go in with perfect hair and makeup, it's harder to claim that you are too fatigued to function or that your hands and arms hurt too much for you to cook dinner or work.

I would like to believe that a doctor, especially a rheumatologist, would realize that you probably took hours getting ready and will pay for it for days, but that's not always the way it works. Some docs, especially the ones that you have to see to get disability, will use your appearance against you. I have friends that have found comments about their hair and makeup in their records.

If you start doing your hair and makeup for later visits, some docs assume you are feeling better because you look better even if you say you are not.

On the other side, you can't go in looking too "raw" either. You'll be immediately judged as depressed, which is fine if you are but not so fine if you aren't.

I learned the above information from a disability advocate that spoke to us at a support group meeting. She told us about a woman that was turned down for disability because the doctor noted in her records that she must have spent hours to get her hair and makeup so perfect, he felt she was exaggerating her symptoms.

ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 1/27/2009 11:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh boy. You can't win, can you?

Thanks for that. It's really useful advice.

I.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.


Sera Smiles
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Date Joined Nov 2006
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   Posted 1/28/2009 2:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Interesting topic. On another hand, I say be yourself. For me, part of building trust with my GP is to represent myself exactly as I am at that moment in my life. Let me give you a for instance. I had a fantastic family doc in FL, he saw ME, the real deal each time. Because we were partners, we had agreed to be honest with each other. As I felt better and got stronger, he could see it in ALL of me. He needed encouragement, too :) He needed to know if he was on the right track with my treatment and progress, he wanted me to be stronger and not live a life of just despair and endurance. He cared about me and my positive progress meant alot to him. I guess what I am saying is be yourself- we wear lots of clues and its important for our docs to be able to evaluate us on many levels for an accurate treatment plan. Good luck!
"A butterfly is most vulnerable immediately after its metamorphosis."
 
Dx FM- 2003
Rx Meds- Ultram, Flexeril, Toprol, Cymbalta, Buspar 
OTC meds- Benadryl, Claritin, Melatonin, Valerian, B Complex, Multi Vitamin
 
 


Thirteen
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 1/28/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
HAH omg I never thought of that either, I always doll myself up, only because of my acne problems, if I didn't have acne I wouldn't wear any make-up at all (kind of always been a tomboy)... but you're right because without makeup I DO look sickly, dark circles under my eyes probably from lack of sleep, pale pale skin, just.. ew! And I'm good with make-up so I make myself look SO MUCH brighter and prettier... My rheumatologist actually mentioned last time I was there that I looked very good... is this a bad thing, seeing as how I don't ever FEEL good and it's almost "deceiving" her?!!
 
_____________________________________
21 years old
 
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar, OCD, Dependent Personality Disorder
 
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore

Sera Smiles
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Date Joined Nov 2006
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   Posted 1/28/2009 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I have one last thing to add, my hooosband hates when I do this [keep explaining] but this is a very important topic for us- makeup, nice clothes, pretty hair- wonderful things. Remember that once we have a trusting and respectful relationship with our docs, there is nothing we can do or NOT do that will hide whats going on with us. These are our docs- they know us, they know the difference between paint, pity, and progress. :) More of Sera's southern wits-dom. Be yourself- mask or no mask, who you are will always shine through. If a doc comments on the makeup, tell 'em that with your health challenge, these doc visits are the closest thing to a 'date' that you have had in years and you wanted to look good :) Keep your chin up, ladies and gents, and throw on that pink lipstick and blue eyeshadow if your inner vixen asks you to. Peace!
"A butterfly is most vulnerable immediately after its metamorphosis."
 
Dx FM- 2003
Rx Meds- Ultram, Flexeril, Toprol, Cymbalta, Buspar 
OTC meds- Benadryl, Claritin, Melatonin, Valerian, B Complex, Multi Vitamin
 
 


Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17094
   Posted 1/28/2009 10:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I never leave the house without my hair looking good and make-up on.  I always have my nails and toenails polished, too.  My doctors know that I'm seriously hurting when I start to describe what is going on with me.  There have been a few times I started to "tear up" because of the pain and not knowing what could help me.  I try to fight back the tears but sometimes it's impossible.  They can see my skin on the rest of my body so I don't worry about my face.  They also know I'm not trying to pull anything over on them.  I'm just being honest and forthright and I really do get good help from them.
 
By the way, Daggar, I got disability the first attempt I made, without needing lawyers, and I was wearing make-up to my interview and all the doctors' appointments they sent me on.
 
Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Post Edited (Sherrine) : 1/28/2009 11:00:33 AM (GMT-7)


Dagger
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 1/29/2009 12:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Sherrine, It sounds like you saw decent doctors that did their job and looked at the facts. I am happy for you. That's the way it should be for everyone.

Most of the people in my fibro group either are on disability or are trying to get it. It seems so arbitrary sometimes. I've had friends that are so very obviously disabled rejected more than once, and others, in better shape, get their disability the first time. I know there is more to it than appearance but it's something to keep in mind.

One of our local disability lawyers, considered one of the best in the area, advises his clients to keep the keep their hair style as simple as possible and skip the makeup before any hearings or dr. appointments. It's the advice that's given a lot in my town by attorneys, doctors and support groups. I don't know how true it is and where else it may apply but I heard the same thing 10 years ago on the other side of the country.

When Ivy asked, I just thought she had heard this advice too.

I don't worry about it, I'm a ponytail and mascara person on a good day or in a flare.
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