O/T but I still need your prayers

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kelly71
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   Posted 1/30/2009 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
OK, for anyone that's been here awhile, you all know about my adorable 97 year old Grandma Toots (rhymes with foots).  She is my hero for many reasons, and will always own a part of my heart.
 
Anyway, Grandma Toots isn't doing very well. sad   My mom used to be a Hospice nurse, and she told me that she thinks that my Grandma is starting to "give up."  We have her in an assisted living place and she's on Hospice now.  We finally have her pain under control with fentanyl patches and the occasional vicodin for breakthrough pain.
 
I went to visit her on Wednesday, and instead of the warm, "Hi Sweetie," that I always get, I was faced with a woman who I didn't recognize.  She was very confused and when I asked her what was wrong, she kept saying, "I don't know."  BTW-I made sure to tell her that it was OK if she didn't know what was wrong.  Sometimes we just feel bad because we feel bad.  Anyway, I immediately talked to her nurses and told them that something was wrong-because my grandma never acts like that around me.  I told my mom that she need to get over there, ASAP.
 
OK, first of all, if you have weak stomachs, please don't read this part.  Otherwise, you have been warned!!!
 
My mom figured out that all the narcotics that she had been taking had made her so constipated that she was impacted.  Luckily, since my mom is a nurse, she was able to help disimpact her.  If anyone has any medical knowledge, you know that it is possible to die from being that constipated.  Anyway, my mom helped her out and when she left, she said that Grandma was smiling. :-)
 
This AM, I stopped by Starbucks to pick up her favorite Vanilla Latte for her and when I first came in her room, she was getting ready to get her bath, but the nurses let me visit for a little bit before (I was on my way to a therapy appointment).  She smiled and called me "Sweetie" like she always does, and she liked her coffee I brought her.  She said she felt a little better than the other day, but she still doesn't look "right" to me.
 
All I've known in my 37 years is that Grandma Toots has been there.  I think I told myself a couple years ago that if she happened to die, I wouldn't be surprised (but it would still hurt, of course).  But now, I think that day is coming soon.  I feel like her little body is tired and worn down and she's giving up.  I really don't think it will be too much longer before my beloved Grandma Toots dies. cry
 
Anyway, I'm just really sad and bummed out.  Her impending death is a reality to me, but I am just really sad.  All I want is for her to be pain free and when it's her time to go, she goes peacefully.  So, if y'all could put in an extra prayer for her, I'd really appreciate it.  If you aren't the praying type, even a warm thought will do.
 
Of course, I'll keep y'all updated.  I know I'll need your support when that day comes.  Thanks for letting me vent.
FINALLY dxd with fibro on 06/13/08
Neurontin, Ibuprofen for pain-which doesn't help
Zoloft & methadone (NOT for pain) for sanity-which doesn't help, BTW
Klonopin for anxiety (Guess what?  Doesn't help!)
Aciphex for reflux
Quit smoking 08/29/08 (used Chantix)
 
"I'll take the Chivas instead"
-Kelly Clarkson


Irish Babe
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Date Joined May 2007
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   Posted 1/30/2009 10:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear your grandmother isn't feeling that well right now. Wonderful G'mas are a treasure, I know, b/c I have had a couple of my own. We have had the impaction w/ my DM, so I know the problem you're talking about. The meds can cause a lot of that prob, and also when the person isn't as active as they used to be.
 
My DM will be 90 in 3 wks and I know my time is limited w/ her and it hurts like h*** to think that there will be a time w/o out her. The only thing I can say to you is keep doing what you're doing. Be there for her, you noticed she wasn't well and you called your mother. Your mother got right to the bottom of the immediate problem and your G'ma was feeling better. That was you being alert and caring about a woman you love. You bring her little treats and visit w/ her. That is the best medicine you can give her, letting her know how much you love her. You are a very caring and loving person, just the kind of person that deserves a G'ma named 'Toots'.

I had a MUCH older cousin by the name of 'Toots', what a aweetheart, just something about that name!
 
As far as prayers, of course, your whole family is in my prayers and my thoughts. Pls give her a hug for me, after you get your hug, of course. smilewinkgrin
 
Pls keep us updated. I wish you all the best.
 
God bless.  Alice.

WyldOrchid5150
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 1/30/2009 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   

hey Kelly...

Geez...thats rough on you I know,my grandma is 90 and has always been a very active woman(she still drives! shocked  ) but in the last year she has become very frail.Doesn't seem possible to me.I'm glad she is doing better,she probably is still recovering from all the poison that was in her system from the impaction.Takes a few days to get back to 'normal'.Just keep bringing that coffee!


Fibro,Heart Disease,Diabetes,Hyperlipademia,2 Stents,The Fog, other assorted twigs and berries.
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Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/30/2009 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
The hospice nurses couldn't figure out what was wrong with her??? Sounds like someone needs to be keeping track of her BMs. I'm so glad your mother is a nurse.
 
That's a long time to live Kelly maybe she knows it's time for her to go. I know that doesn't make it easier on you. Hopefully, she will just go quietly in her sleep when the time comes.
 
Spend as much time with her as you can and make some more great memories while you can.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
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Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17094
   Posted 1/30/2009 11:09 AM (GMT -7)   
And, Kelly,talk to her about when she was a young child and then a young woman.  I know she would love to tell  you all about her life and, if you have a tape recorder, record it.  It will make her feel good and you, too.
 
I sat down with my great grandmother when she was 97 and she told me some wonderful stories.  She had taught in a one room schoolhouse back in the late 1800's!  I didn't have a tape recorder with me and I really wish I did but I do remember the stories and have written them down for future generations.  My great grandma died at age 104.
 
Grandma Toots will be in my prayers.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Lindaloo
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 1/30/2009 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Kel,

I have a granddaughter named Kelly and she is my pride and joy. We are so close.

I just lost my very dear mother in law last month and it was a very sad time for the family, so I do know some of the saddness you are feeling at this time. I wanted my mil to not be in pain anymore. In the end she was semi comotose and not really responsive. Being a nurse myself, I knew that the end was near and prepared my daughters the best I could. They consider her to be extrememly wonderful and she was the best grandma. Let's put it this way, if I am half the grandma she was, I'll be doing great!!! I love her dearly and was such a wonderful influence on my daughters, both her and their grandfather too who passed some three years ago.

Honey I will send up prayers that you get this time with your grandmother and when it is time for the Lord to bring her home, that He grants you and your family strength.

By the way do get a tape recorder. We did. And also take pictures of your grandmother's , your mother's and your hands as well as your children if you have any. It makes a nice rememberance. We did that too.

God bless and hang in there Kelly. You are a good granddaughter Honey.

Lindaloo


Moderator Chronic Pain
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
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QTKaren
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 1/30/2009 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kelly,

You sure do have my prayers for your family and gramma Toots and mostly you because I know you care so very much. I worry about the same things with my mom who is in her late 70's but not in good health. Take care my friend...you are loved.

Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,nerve damage due to botched bladder surgery,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
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Southernlady
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 1/30/2009 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Kelly, you and Grandma Toots are both in my prayers. 
 
I had two wonderful grandmothers.  One a city Grandma and the other a country Grandma. 
 
I have so many good memories of them and try to be as good to my little granddaughter as they were to me.
 
I know how hurt you must feel, but you have been given good advise.  Enjoy her while you can and make her last days on earth special.
 
I know you believe in prayer and God will take care of you through the grieving process.
 
You have a loving fibrofamily to help you through the rough times too.
 
God Bless!
Shannon
 
 
Of all the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most!!!!


Statgeek
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 1/31/2009 12:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Kelly, that is really tough.  It sounds like tootie is a wonderful person.  I wish I could think of something comforting to say.  My great grandmother died 20 years ago and I still am affected by the good influence she was on my life.  I imagine she is up in heaven still praying for me.  I hope that your grandma lives an even longer and healthy life. 

Hugs,

Sue


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 1/31/2009 7:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sweetie,

I know that this is such a hard time for you. But I am glad that you can go and see her often. I know that the two of you are close, so do like Sherrine says and get her talking about the good old days. She will love that.

A tape recorder is a good idea too. My cousin brought over a video camera when my grandmother was getting up there. So he has memories. I have tons of photos.

You and your family are in my thoughts and in my prayers. Give grandma Toots a hug for me too.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


GamJill
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 1/31/2009 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   

Kelly, you and Grandma Toots are in my thoughts and prayers!

She sounds like such a wonderful lady-

Like everyone has said spend as much time as possible with her and let her tell stories of her life. I did geriatric nursing for years and I have such a soft spot for the elderly. I have heard many, many stories. I had a patient that would tell me stories about his travels and no less in a covered wagon! 

We are with you through this-

GamJill 


 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  


kelly71
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 1/31/2009 2:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to thank everyone for their warm thoughts & prayers, and give you an update.  Unfortunately, things aren't looking too good.  My mom, who worked as a Hospice nurse for almost 20 years has enough experience to know that it probably won't be any longer than a week before Grandma dies. sad    They've got her on morphine and oxygen now, so she isn't in any pain. 
 
Thinking back to the things that she has said over the last few days, I realized that she already knew what we didn't.  She had been asking when my 2 uncles (my dad's brothers) were coming (they should be here tomorrow), and she told my mom that she saw my grandfather in the hall (he died in 1965).
 
Anyway, I'll keep everyone updated.  It's hard to "wait" for the inevitable.  I just know that the world is about to get a little more empty. cry
FINALLY dxd with fibro on 06/13/08
Neurontin, Ibuprofen for pain-which doesn't help
Zoloft & methadone (NOT for pain) for sanity-which doesn't help, BTW
Klonopin for anxiety (Guess what?  Doesn't help!)
Aciphex for reflux
Quit smoking 08/29/08 (used Chantix)
 
"I'll take the Chivas instead"
-Kelly Clarkson


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/1/2009 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Kelly I know how hard this is but she is ready to go with your grandpa to a better place. I hope you all are telling her it's okay to go. Don't be surprised if after your uncles get there she goes quickly.
 
I bet your glad you moved back home when you did.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
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CyndiO
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 2/1/2009 9:30 AM (GMT -7)   

Kelly

I am keeping you & Grandma Toots in my prayers...I am so glad that you are back home and have been able to see her and spend time with her. You are lucky to have such a wonderful lady as a part of your family. And she is lucky to have a wonderful granddaughter such as yourself!

Love and hugs,

Cyndi


Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Hx of GERD & Ulcers, Depression/Anxiety, RLS, Possible RA
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Irish Babe
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 2/1/2009 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Kelly, I know it will seem empty w/o your G'ma, but think how blessed you are to have had her in your life all these yrs. And how blessed she has been to have you all these yrs. She knows what her body can do, and she is waiting for her sons to make her 'goodbyes'. That is one strong lady. My G'ma 'saw' her late husband shortly before she passed, she said, 'I knew he was waiting for me' She was comforted by the fact he was still 'hers'.
 
I am grateful that you were able to move back home to be here at this time in her life. I know you will hurt, I pray for strength for you and your family at this trying time.
 
God bless.  Alice.

pattipanda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 2/1/2009 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Aww Kelly,  I know what your going through is really hard.  At least Toots had a good long life.  97 is pretty incredible.  She's very blessed to have a family that loves her so dearly.  I've lost many very loved relatives and the one thing that's kept me going during tough times is knowing that they are always there with me.   I'll keep you, Toots and your family in my thoughts.

Take care & warm hugs,


Patti
 
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kelly71
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 2/1/2009 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, the world is a little bit smaller tonight, and heaven just got one heck of an angel.  My Grandma Toots is gone.  She died peacefully about an hour ago.  I wasn't there when she died, but I felt it.  And, surprisingly, my heart doesn't have that heaviness that it's had for the past week.
 
I just wanted to thank everyone again for everything.  I don't know if y'all have any idea how much your kind words have helped me.  In a way, I think that Grandma Toots was kind of everyone's grandma-I mean, I talked about her enough, LOL.  But, y'all let me talk about her, and that's just what I needed.  Y'all are truly some of the most caring people I've ever "met."
 
RIP Grandma Toots 11/24/11-02/01/09
FINALLY dxd with fibro on 06/13/08
Neurontin, Ibuprofen for pain-which doesn't help
Zoloft & methadone (NOT for pain) for sanity-which doesn't help, BTW
Klonopin for anxiety (Guess what?  Doesn't help!)
Aciphex for reflux
Quit smoking 08/29/08 (used Chantix)
 
"I'll take the Chivas instead"
-Kelly Clarkson


Southernlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 2/1/2009 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear the news, but just remember.....she's in a better place than we are. 
 
She's up there with the love of her life singing with the angels. 
 
I know that sometimes we get selfish and don't want to give our loved ones up, but you wouldn't want to have her lay for days or weeks suffering and now her suffering is over so just keep praying and God will give you strength through all your grieving and remember....he won't put on us more than we can bare. 
 
You are in my thoughts and prayers and you've got a loving fibro family to help you through the next few days and weeks.  We are here for you anytime you need to talk, in fact we almost feel we knew Grandma Toot.
 
May God bless and keep you, is my prayer!
Love, Shannon
 
Of all the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most!!!!


WyldOrchid5150
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 2/2/2009 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   
(((((Kelly)))))  I'm so sorry for your loss...I think we all know how much you loved her.Hollar at us if you need anything

Fibro,Heart Disease,Diabetes,Hyperlipademia,2 Stents,The Fog, other assorted twigs and berries.
       Metoprolol 100mg   Lisnopril 20mg  Glucophage100mg  Goody Powders 5 a day
                                             She Hath Done Wonderous Naughty


GamJill
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 2/2/2009 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   

So sorry to hear about your grandma Kelly- and I'm happy you moved back and were able to spend some time with her. What a cute story about how she got her nick name!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family-

GamJill

 


 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  


SleepyBug
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/2/2009 9:43 AM (GMT -7)   
((((((kelly))))))) i am so sorry for your loss. please know that i am thinking of you and praying for you and your family during this time-and i'm sure that your grandma toots is smiling down on you from heaven now.
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


Binki
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 386
   Posted 2/2/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
(((KELLY))) I am sorry for your loss. Glad to know she went peacefully.
Rest in Peace Toots.
(((HUGS)))

Lori
 


Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17094
   Posted 2/2/2009 12:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Kelly, I posted this in another thread, but I'll say it again.  I'm so sorry that your Grandma Toots has passed on.  But, she is happy and healthy again!  You know that and that's why you don't have the heaviness you were expecting.  She has left a large impact on this world and in your life so she is still on earth in our memories. 
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Irish Babe
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 2/2/2009 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Kelly, I'm so sorry for your loss. I was glad that she went peacefully, that's how it should be, IMHO. When my MIL passed away, each of her children were w/ her for the visiting hrs, shortly after everyone left, she passed away. As if she didn't want us to be there to witnesses her passing. The nurse came in when the monitor went off, the nurse opened the window to let her soul fly 'free'. I thought that was a very sweet way to let her go.

I will continue to keep all of you in my prayers.

God bless.  Alice.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 2/2/2009 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Kelly,

I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. Your grandma Toots is at peace now with your grandfather. Take care of yourself and remember that we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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