Some 'helpful' items for your consideration

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vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 1/31/2009 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
The hubby gets a Hammacher Schlemmer catalog.  Don't know why because we can't afford anything in it.  I looked through it last night and laughed my head off.  I thought of we fibro-mites using some of these items to make our day so much more efficient and pain free.
 
Spring Loaded Walking Shoes.  Ba Doink, ba Doink, ba doink, all over the house...now able to reach that bag of chips on top of the refrigerator.
 
Spring Loaded Sandals.  Ba-Doink.  Claims to reclaim 96% of the energy you waste while walking.  If I wore these 'attractive shoes' on an uneven surface they'd have to have me air lifted.
 
How about a telescope/walking stick combo?  You are hobbling through Walmart and want to read a  label on a bottle of vitamins on the top shelf.  There ya go...just turn a knob, and the end transform into a telescope that can see Mars on a cloudy night.  I can only imagine the crowd you would draw while peering through it to see if there is any yeast products in the vitamins.
 
The Plantar Fascitis Night Brace.  OMG.  It looks like torture.  It is a 'boot' that velcroes around your ankle then has a strap that pulls your toes up straight in the air at a 90 degree angle.  Owwy.
 
A genuine leather lounger that when you press a button shoots you out of the chair so you don't have to hike yourself out.  Every fibromite should have one of these...just make sure there is someone to catch you.
 
A handheld Brain and memory trainer.  Good idea for a fibromite but the instructions are a page long and complicated  and the screen looks like a fighter jet panel.  I can't use the features on my cell phone.
 
The Balance Board trainer...'Good work out for all ages!'  It looks like a skateboard on top of three bowling balls.   There is a warning beneath the product that reads:  Please consult your physican before using this equipment.  Really???  Do I have to??  You would think my doc would like to fit me with a neck brace and crutches.
 
I love this one.  A stainless steel wallet.  You have got to be kidding me.  It weighs  a mere one pound.  But...it is resistant to acids and seawater.  I expose myself to these things all the time, with my skin diving and my side job in car mechanics  so maybe I'll buy one. Besides,  my purse isn't heavy enough.
 
An oxygen bar to improve your concentration and memory.  Just pull the monster around with you through the stores and while you clean and you will remember what you are supposed to be doing.  Plays music through four Bose speakers.  You can even drive with this around your neck!
 
An alarm clock that screams 'Get up!' if you don't respond to it ten times in a row.
 
A GPS Homing device that attaches to your key chain.   Claims you can find yourself in 'urban canyons' and if you should get lost 'deep in a forest'.  Again, the instructions are a page long and it is only the size of a 'drink coaster'.
 
Oh...there are so many more ....Spring loaded hiking boots also.  What's with the spring loaded...Ba-Doink! Oh...and a 'five axis mechanical core muscle trainer' for those who are physcially limited and unable to withstand daily exercise.  It looks like a horse saddle on wheels, with stirrups and eveything.  I guess it could be used to give yourself your own pap smear if you wanted to go that route...am I allowed to say that???
 
Wish they had a robot that would shovel the snow.  We only have 125 inches as of this morning.
 
huggies
donna
 
I don't know why the font keeps changing.  Maybe they have something in this catalog that will fix it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium

Post Edited (vestabula) : 1/31/2009 7:57:37 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 1/31/2009 7:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow Donna,

That was a trip. Some unique items I must say.

We have a ton of snow too and it just doens't want to stop. It is a little warmer today. In the 20's. Might get in the 30's tomorrow. Heat wave. Maybe this is our January thaw. LOL... I wish that we would get one.

Have a great day,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


FibroBooBoo
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 1/31/2009 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Donna,

I never heard of that company before so I searched it and went to the site. I got a good laugh at some of the items, but wonder if The Six Hour Cordless Heat Therapy Shoulder Wrap really works. I could use that, but for the price it will have to stay there.

Thanks for sharing!!
{{{hugs}}}
Tina

Diagnosed in 1999, SSD 2000, Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, Tendonitis, Arhtritis,
Hiatial Hernia, Acid Reflux, GERD, Hypoglycemic, Allergies... and the list goes on. My Doctor says
I am an enigma LOL.

Meds: Wellbutrin XL, Flexeril, Prilosec, Tramadol, Mobic, Zyrtec, Tylenol


FibroBooBoo
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 1/31/2009 10:36 AM (GMT -7)   
OMG... The Power Nap Capsule is $25,000.00!!
{{{hugs}}}
Tina

Diagnosed in 1999, SSD 2000, Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, Tendonitis, Arhtritis,
Hiatial Hernia, Acid Reflux, GERD, Hypoglycemic, Allergies... and the list goes on. My Doctor says
I am an enigma LOL.

Meds: Wellbutrin XL, Flexeril, Prilosec, Tramadol, Mobic, Zyrtec, Tylenol


Orlo
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 1/31/2009 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for making my day Donna! I like the robot floor washer. I'll get one of those and a vacuum one and robots can just clean for me! Plus it will entertain my cats. :-)
Fibromyalgia: 2008

Effexor 150 mg, Flexril 5 mg, Gabapentin 600 mg


colabear2890
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 103
   Posted 1/31/2009 9:26 PM (GMT -7)   
that was really funny. thanks donna. it gave me a good laugh. i'll have to look at that catalogue sometime.

-Aliza
"never regret something that made you smile"


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/31/2009 9:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for posting...those are a riot!

Chutzie...lol
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
***************
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 1/31/2009 10:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Donna for sharing! I have to check out this catalog. I could really use the telescope walking stick!
Sue

gabbystates
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/1/2009 9:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow - that sounds like quite an adventure. You are very good at relaying humor in your story - thanks for sharing!

SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/2/2009 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   
does that alarm clock really yell "get up"!!?? if so, i'm getting one for my hubby!! devil
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 2/2/2009 7:23 AM (GMT -7)   

danielle...the alarm clock 'uses advanced speech recognition technology and responds to voice command'.  So if you want to wake up to "good morning and wake up, you hunka hunka burning love', you just program it to say that.  If you want to yell GET UP, it will do that also.  It will also 'lull you to sleep with the soothing sounds of the ocean or chirping birds'.  You could program it to record a screaming baby...that would shoot you outta bed in a microsecond.  It is only fifty bucks....'battereis not included.'

Huggies

donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/2/2009 9:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Robot floor washer???? I have to have one of those. I hope it gets grout lines.
 
I found some of the fabric glue that Billy Mays advertises at our new CVS yesterday and I'm going to glue the loose pillows on the back of my couch to the couch. Ken says it won't work and I will ruin the couch. Gee that would be bad if I ruin this piece of crap and had to get a new one. devil
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


GamJill
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 2/2/2009 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I like the alarm clock that can holler "Get Up"- that would be perfect for my 17 yr. to wake up for school! devil
 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 2/2/2009 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Marlee...are you in a fog?  Don't you remember that after we trashed Sherrine's house I blew mine up with a grenade so habitat for humanity would build me a new one and you pushed that couch of yours into the hole I was living in so I could sit on something?  It is really very comfy.  Thanks.

Hugies

donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


pattipanda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 2/3/2009 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL... that was funny, Donna. 
Every now and then we get some catalogs (brain fog is interefering with the name.. I think I'd Carol Wright or one of those).  I've told my dh if I ever really need any of the products in there to take me out to the lower forty and shoot me!!  I hope I never really need any of that stuff!!!! smhair
Patti
 
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

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