A happy solution and a new problem

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 2/11/2009 1:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Over the past couple of months I have been asking my 21 year old, who no longer lives at home to come over and help out.

Last month I asked him to deep clean our entire place, surprisingly he did. This past week, my power chair has been out of order. I can walk a little but find it too painful and exhausting to be of any practical use.

While my daughter has been doing all of the cooking, I needed help with grocery shopping and--more cleaning.

So, I just decided to say I would like him to come over every month to clean. In addition he went to Costco today for me and will go food shopping again on thursday (for the stuff he skipped lol). He has three roommates and would you believe, he cooks most of the meals, healthy ones at that.

Why couldn't he have been this great at home? lol. He did clean but not regularly, he says his apartment is spotless but it was not that way when he lived here. Wow, what a difference living away from home makes.

Well, I hope this lasts.

Anyway, do you know how exhausting walking can be. Especially when my fibro pain is mainly in my hips. No wonder I use the power chair. Water exercises and swimming are easier. No wonder I do it two hours per day.

I tried to use my walking sticks and walker to help. Still painful. I know that for pain relief while walking, I should have something other than the non narcotic stuff.

Ugh between the snow, a virus and my wheel chair I have spent more time at home than in the pool Ugh. I hope I do not gain 50 lbs here. lol


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 2/11/2009 8:56 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Donnaneil!!

My son was/is exactly the same.  He's 29 (ugg.. this kid's age is making me sound old).  He's single, a great cook and his apartment is cleaner than my house.  He lives about 10 hours away from us :( so he doesn't come over and help out.  I'm lucky if I see him once a year.

I think its great that your kids pitch in!! 

Hope you get your chair up and working again soon!!! 

Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

MT Lady
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 2/11/2009 9:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Morning Donna,
What a blessing to have your adult children pitching in and helping you! I realize you are going through a rough time now, with your chair not working, going through a flare and a virus, but isn't it wonderful for you to know you have your kids that you can depend on? I have three boys and the closest one lives five hours away. After the winter we have had, I have often thought about how nice it would be to have the kids closer to help out once in a while. I hope you feel better soon and your chair is up and working before you know it...
warm wishes,

Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/11/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   
What did you do to get him to do that??? shocked   My 21 yr old grandson's apartment, he shares with three others, looks like a pig sty.
I know it's been a rough winter on you Donnaeil, I hope things get better soon before you go stir crazy.
My niece is my sweetheart. She asked me the other day if she could please come clean my house cause she needs to get away from her's for a day. I may be blonde but I'm not that dumb, she wants to help out without making me feel like I'm taking her time away from other things. I do feel so much better after she cleans so I will let her come and clean soon.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/11/2009 10:28 AM (GMT -6)   

i'm so sorry things are piling up right now with the weather (snow? in seattle?? i didn't think it snowed there...) and the virus and your chair not working right. i hope things start to go better for you soon!

and i agree-you are so fortunate to have kids that come and help you out like that. to me, that just shows you obviously are a great mom and did right in raising them! i hope my kids grow up to be that caring and helpful :-)
love and hugs

fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17056
   Posted 2/11/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm glad your kids are pitching in and helping you.  You have had a rough winter but spring is slowly coming!  Get that power chair fixed and head out to the pool, soon!
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 2/11/2009 4:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone,

Actually the virus, after hanging around for a few weeks, ended last week.

I am working on a book so I figure somehow I am being manipulated to stay home and work. Otherwise I could be out, dining, dancing and swimming.

Okay I have another son. Trusting him to clean is dumb. He is better with offering financial support. If anything when he visits he has to be constantly reminded to pick up after himself. So, each of my children have different ways to offer help.

After being an at home mom for 23 years, I know I am exhausted. The fibro and chronic fatigue threw me a ringer while the kids were still young. My home was a mess then and I was too tired to make them clean it up. In fact, I was probably sleeping while they made the food and did their laundry. I definitely lowered my standards for a decent looking home then.

I am glad I had my children, I now see the real value in being a mom. I just wish I had more energy.


Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 257
   Posted 2/12/2009 12:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Your children sound great - a nice reflection of how they were raised, even if your home wasn't the neatest one on the block!

One of the nicest things I have done for myself was to hire someone to come in once a month and clean for me. She works for about 5 hours and does my kitchen, top to bottom, floors throughout the house, cleans both my full bathrooms top to bottom, dusts the entire house, mops up my enclosed front and back porches, shakes the rugs, and vacuums the back stairs and sweeps up the basement laundry room. It is SO worth money, and, I believe that having started this last spring when I was first Dx'd with fibro also helped when it came time for my disability claim and being asked about ADL.

I vacuumed my tiny living room today, and can feel it throughout my thoracic region in my back and my neck. Ouch. I shouldn't have done that. I just couldn't remember which week she was coming....she called me tonight to remind me she's coming tomorrow!!

Fibro aches and pains - and fog, too!
Still learning how to manage my Fibromylagia, and all the lovely gifts it brings.   
I had severe spinal stenosis, had fusion done on C5-7, and my life has changed. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 2/12/2009 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Donnaeil-

What a gem of a son you have! Can he come over to my house!!?? Sorry to hear your having such a rough time and I hope things will get better for you soon!


Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

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