Could all this send me into a MAJOR FLARE???

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Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I am having one of the worse flares ever.  My lower back, thighs in front,
neck, shoulders, arms, wrists......all over. I took a stress level test and it rated "high stress".  In the last 6 months this is what has occured.......
my brother died November 13th sad ........my best friends husband died
unexpectedly 4 weeks ago, my daughter in law is 8 weeks pregnant and
does not want the baby, and my son and her are ready to split.  My husband is under tremendous pressure and his diabetes is causing him to go into rages.  My supervisor at work was diagnosed with brain and lung cancer in Sept and Hospice has been called in yesterday to help her pass away without pain. I thought I was handling things well, but my body is telling me something else. Is it possible that all these stressors is causing the God-awful flare.  I miss my brother sooooooooooooo much, and my heart aches for my son.  I am a TOTAL mess right now, and am SCARED!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent
 
Sue


Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax


chrisherry
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Tootie,
I am so sorry to hear about your recent losses and all your heartache. For me stress is the biggest factor in a flare for me. I know it's easier said than done but please try to consider your health as well and do everything that you can to keep yourself well so you can be there for your family.
Sherry AKA Pepperchick
 
38 y.o. w/ Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Stroke, Gastric Bypass, Hysterectomy,
Cholecystectomy, Hypothyroidism, Depression, Anxiety, Memory Loss, Insomnia, and counting.
 
Meds: Ms contin 60 mg 2x day, Actiq 1200 mcg 4x day, Xanax 2mg 3x day, Prozac 20 mg day, Ambien 10mg day, Soma 350 mg 2x day.


pattipanda
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 2/18/2009 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh Sue,

You've really had alot of stressful and sad things happening in your life.  I'm so sorry about your brother.  I didn't know. And with all of the other things going on I wouldn't be surprised if you were having a lot of anxiety and of course that always equals a flare.. at least for me it does.  If nothing else you sure could use a break from all of the difficult things that you've been going through.

I hope things get better for you.  I'll keep you close in my thoughts and prayers.

Warm hugs,


Patti
 
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown


julieleaps
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 257
   Posted 2/18/2009 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Vent away! God knows if anybody has a reason, you do.
Still learning how to manage my Fibromylagia, and all the lovely gifts it brings.   
I had severe spinal stenosis, had fusion done on C5-7, and my life has changed. 
 
 


Irish Babe
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 2/18/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue, I'm so sorry for all the sadness going on in your life. Your losses and seeing ppl you love having so much going on can certainly bring on a terrible flare. You have to be gentle w/ yourself, your DH needs to get his diabetes under control or he will have more problems.
 
I don't know what kind of weather you are having now, but is it possible for you to get out for a bit of a walk each day. Just a quiet, peaceful place to relax and unwind. I have found either walking or riding my indoor bike helps w/ the crazy stress. Then maybe a soak in a bubble bath or a hot shower. A heating pad is my best friend, maybe it could help your sore spots. Could you and your DH give each other a back rub, it sounds like you both are stressed. It might help the two of you.
 
I will keep you in my prayers, to ease your pain in all areas.
 
God bless.  Alice.
 

MT Lady
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 2/18/2009 8:06 PM (GMT -7)   
((((Sue)))
Stress is a major factor in flares for me, besides the barometric pressure. I feel so bad for you, to have so much at one time. I know it is easier said than done, but somehow, you need to find ways to relax. Being in pain, I realize it's very difficult to even think of exercise, but as Alice mentioned, walking, even if just a moderate, casual walk, can really help emotionally as well as physically. I am sending positive energy your way,
Miriam

Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.


Sera Smiles
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 2/18/2009 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Ms. Tootie (((soft hugs))) for you, and many of my smiles coming your way. I think something odd about this disorder is how we are so able to see in others how stress works against them, yet when it comes to ourselves, we can't see it. I don't know if this is a good thing, like a protective oblivion, or a bad thing, where we continue to push ourselves beyond what is reasonable. Yes, I think this emotional stress has caused you to ride a roller coaster of feelings and responsibilties. I believe that you are a woman who cares greatly about those you love and admire, and feel deeply when those you love are in life situations that you can't solve. Take a deep breath, remember the people who care about you and are keeping you in prayer, and continue to take it one day at a time and try not to do more than you can handle. I hope your flare and pain will reduce more and more each day.
"A butterfly is most vulnerable immediately after its metamorphosis."
 
Dx FM- 2003
Rx Meds- Ultram, Flexeril, Toprol, Cymbalta, Buspar 
OTC meds- Benadryl, Claritin, Melatonin, Valerian, B Complex, Multi Vitamin
 
 


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 2/18/2009 10:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue - I am so sorry to hear all of this that is going on in your life and your friends' lives. Yes, our bodies react to stress - no wonder you are in a big flare. Unfortunately, during stress is the worst time to have a flare up. Plus your trying to "handle it" is probably putting even more stress. Losing your brother must be awful. Plus being a mom of someone who is hurting is extremely difficult. (not to mention all the other stuff) Sometimes I think it is even harder when our kids are hurting than we are hurting ourselves. Sending warm thoughts your way and prayers up for you too.
Sue

Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 2/19/2009 6:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all your posts, ladies. Just reading the words make me feel better.
I didnt sleep at all last night the pain was so bad. I have tried Ambien but that does nothing. Its so hard to let go of all the stresses when it involves the ones you love,
especially my son. He is studying for his State license for Nursing and needs to pass it. He is currently working in a large hospital in ER and loves it.
I cant make heads or tails of what my daugter in law is all about. They have only been married 6 months and it has been a living hell since day one. I posted earlier last week she was spotting and wouldnt go to the dr. She went on Tues of this week and the Dr said all was ok. She is still smoking...arghhhhh. I called her and asked her how she was feeling and she hung up on me after calling me a few choice words. Oh, that made me feel great, huh. My girlfriends husband (58) was being treated for a sinus infection for 6 weeks. His pain got so bad he went to ER and they did emergency brain surgery where they found a tumor the size of an egg.
He never came out of the coma and she had to make the decision to take him off
life support. He was a wonderful man. She is almost in a catatonic state and when I call her (she wont see anyone) she doesnt make much sense. I worry about her so much. I know I have to let go of some of these things. I cant talk to my husband as he doesnt believe Fibro is real. So that really adds to my stress. I am so glad I have this forum to be able to vent. Thanks so much!!! Hope you all have a pain free day

Sue
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax


patsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 2/19/2009 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Sue, I just read all that is going on and believe me I would be in a body bag. That is the true nature of all of us. We care to the point of pure pain. Not that other people don't feel sympathy but we fibro humans take it to the depths. I am so sorry about your husband but do you know I think most of our husbands or s.o. deep down feel that way. I just don't think many of them admit it. Many is the time I have had my husband say, you just think about things too much. What the heck does that mean, I cannot help sharing peoples pain. Oh Sue, it so is what it is. Alice had a good suggestion, do everything you can think of to ease your stress. Tell yourself I have done all I can for now and must take care of myself!!! Find your favorite spot even if it's mental and go there!!! I pretend I am in a beautiful meadow and listening to all the sounds of nature. I keep at it until it takes...

Thinking about you, Patsie

Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 2/19/2009 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Patsie.......I do lay down during the day, but I have to be careful because if my husband calls and he can tell I am napping he gets mad. Your hubby says exactly the same as mine does. Tells me to do things to keep my mind off the pain.
Well thats easier said then done, isnt it??? Was going to go for a walk, but the temps dropped from 40 to 22 this morning and the cold really gets to me. Last time I saw the dr he wanted me to gain some weight. I am 5 2 and weigh 105. He said weight would help with the pain???? Doesnt make sense to me. I do feel very undernourished, but its hard for me to eat a lot. I see my counselor this morning,
as I have severe anxiety and panic disorder. I could type forever, but my back hurts so much right now. Need to go get ready to see counselor and it is even an effort to put on makeup and curl my hair, but maybe I will feel better. Thanks hon.
You are all blessings to me

Sue
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/19/2009 7:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Sue I'm sending you a great big ((((HUG)))). You haven't had time to even get over your brother and now all this other stuff going on, yes I'd say it's the cause of the flare. You worked so hard on your son's wedding and to watch the marriage fall apart like this. She is carrying your grandchild of course your going to be upset.
 
I have a hard time myself not letting family problems affect the fibro. I can't turn my emotions off and like you I have anxiety. You know all these things going on is out of your control and that makes it harder cause you feel helpless in making things right. You can be there for your friend when she needs a shoulder to cry on, you can be there for your son when he needs to talk and to hold him, avoid your husband and don't let him take his rage out on you and be as kind as you can to your DIL and pray. That's all you can do is put all this in God's hands and take care of yourself, give your self a break from thinking about any of it. I hope some of this makes sense my brain is foggy again this morning.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
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GamJill
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 2/19/2009 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   

A-w-w-w Sue, I am so sorry to hear about all of this.

My gosh, yes all of this I am sure is causing this flare. Lots of stress does me in and you have tons going on right now. Your "grieving" - which is one of the hardest things to have to go through. You have lost your brother- give yourself permission to feel sad and out of sorts! And to take extra rest periods (naps), your body needs to right now.  

I relate to studying for state exams for nursing- it is VERY stressful, but your son will pass or he won't-  If he doesn't pass there is a waiting period and he can take them again. If this is something he really wants he will get it!

DIL, She sounds like she is a piece of work and mean. Now that there is a baby involved it complicates the heck out of things. I would be concerned too because that is your grandbaby. One day at a time, one day at a time would be my mantra right now if I were you- this is not going to be easy.

Your good friend is probably as low as she can go- so with more "time" she will have no place to go but up. I know you want to be there for her, but remember you are going through alot of your own stuff. 

Let us know how your doing-

GamJill 


 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  


Jeannie143
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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 2/19/2009 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Tootie,
You have way too much on your plate right now! Wish I could come over and sit down and share a cup of tea with you and just listen. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. Sometimes it seems that the only constant in our lives is pain and then everything else goes down the tubes and we feel even worse.

Don't know if this will help you but if you can get away for a while to a quiet place and have a good cry... That's what I did when the sky was falling on me in December. My last straw was a minor car accident that was my dumb fault. I just drove home and sat in the driveway and bawled my eyes out. After that I started to feel a bit better and just put one foot in front of the other.

I can't help you but I can sympathize.

Jeannie

SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/19/2009 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh {{{{{dear Tootie}}}}}

I am so very sorry that all of this is going on in your life right now. I do hope this doesn't send you into a major flare-please take as much gentle care of yourself as you can.

I will be praying for you and your family.

{{{{{{{{{lots of soft hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


AustenFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 2/19/2009 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Aw Tootie.  You really have a lot going on right now.  I'm sending soft hugs and prayers your way.
 
Jeannie has great advice about allowing yourself to have a good cry.  When my mom was sick and died a few years ago my closet was one of my favorite places to just let it go.  My closet is through my bedroom and through my bathroom, so I would shut all of those doors and just completely let it all out where no one could hear me.
 
Come here to vent too.  There are lots of loving shoulders to cry on.
 
Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
Fibromyalgia, 2 back surgeries, Meniere's Disease, 30+ kidney stones, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Allergies, Endometriosis, Heart Arrythmia, Myofascial Pain, TMJ.
 
 
 
 
 
 


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 2/19/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Tootie, the trauma you are going through definitely will cause a flare.  One of the worst times in my life is what kicked in the fibro fog, along with more pain. 
 
Jeannie is right.  A good cry works wonders.  I would get in the shower.  The hot water made my muscles feel better and I cried until the hot water ran out.  I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders.
 
You might try Lamaze breathing, too.  I take a deep breath through my nose and blow it slowly out my mouth...like you are blowing from a straw.  This helps release some tension and helps to relax the muscles.
 
I know you are doing and have done all that you can do.  You are only one person.  Be kind to yourself.  This will all pass some day. 
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 2/19/2009 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   

I cannot express how much I appreciated all of your responses.  I talked with my therapist today, and unfortunately, she really didnt give me any advice.  She did say my immune system must be very low.  Well, I already knew that.  She wants me to see the psychiatrist and maybe put me on Celexa.  I tried that once, and my body is so sensitive to antidepressants, I get so many side effects.  I am sure this will pass, but this time I have truly been scared with all the pain everywhere. I have had CT scans, x-rays and of course, blood work, and nothing shows up, for which I am thankful. I never realized how painful Fibro could be until this last flare.  I think I am all cried out........I have shed thousands of tears for my brother and my friends husband, and of course, my son.  I believe in my heart he will pass the Nursing boards. He is so dedicated to being a good nurse.  I plan on spending the entire day next Thurs in "prayer" for him while he takes the test.  He wont get the results until next Saturday, but I know he will be nervous.  I have taken two hot baths today and that helps for about an hour or so.  I think I might take an extra Xanax to see if that my alleviate some of the anxiety.  The dr said it would be ok.  I wish I could take some kind of narcotic, but I am allergic to so many meds, he doesnt want to start get any kind if reaction.

So, my dear friends, another day goes by, and with your kinds words, I have made it. I will keep you all posted on my sons test.  As far as my DIL, well, thats another story, and I have to stop dwelling on her.  I have my own spouse, which is a handful LOL.

Thanks again everyone.  You are the BEST of the BEST

Sue


Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 2/19/2009 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue, you might consider going to grief therapy.  Hospitals usually hold classes once a week for maybe 4-6 weeks.  I did that when my husband died.  It did help and helps put things in perspective.  It sounds like you are still grieving badly and when you hear of others sick and dying it brings your brother back up to the surface. 
 
It does take a while to get over a loss like that but we sometimes need a little help.  Also, this puts our own mortality to the forefront.  So, I think it would be good to contact your hospital or even a funeral home to see if there are any grief classes going on.  It didn't cost me anything, if I remember correctly.  If it did, it wasnt much and it was worth it to me.  Hope this helps.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 2/19/2009 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   

Sherrine........that is a great idea.  I never even thought of that.  The hospital I work in does have grief classes and I will look into it next week.We were only two years apart and I have been thinking of my own mortality which brings on a lot of anxiety.  People say "geeeez, its been 3 months", but people grieve differently. And the way I found him after being deceased for three days.........have gone thru the "why didnt I call him that Monday, why didnt I go over sooner.....NOT good thoughts.  Thanks for the suggestion Sherrine.

Hugs to you

Sue


Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 2/19/2009 4:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue, hindsight is 20/20.  Don't put yourself there.  You loved your brother and still do.  He knew/knows that too.  You can't be everywhere and you can't read the future.
 
My husband was in Florida when he died.  I was in Ohio preparing for the relocation to Florida.  He called me 15 minutes before he died.  He was "fake" yawning...I could tell...and said he was tired.  I teased him and said, "You just don't want to talk to me, do you."  He perked right up and said, "No, no!  That's not it" and continued the conversation.  We talked for about five more minutes and then we hung up.  Sue, I have often thought, was he having a heart attack then but didnt want to alarm me?  If I had hung up earlier, could he have gotten help a little faster and still be with me?  This is such unproductive thinking.  I will never know the answer to that in this lifetime.  I loved and love him and was there for him throughout our marriage.  He knew how much I loved him, too.  So, why do I want to torment myself over something I really didn't have any control over?  It's easy to think these things when the "future" is now the "past".  See what I mean? 
 
So, just put those negative, destructive thoughts out of your mind.  I can tell you that these thoughts are not from God, either!You were always there for your brother and he loved you for that.  Think of all the good times you had together...the memories you two created.  That's how you want to remember him.  That's how you honor him.
 
Sherrine 
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/19/2009 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Awww Sue, don't let anyone tell you when you should stop grieving for your brother. You not only lost your brother you went through a horrible traumatic experience in finding him. It will be 22 months Mon since Michael was killed and I'm still crying. I had the support of a large family that were all feeling the same thing I was and worse for his dad so I didn't go to a grief group. Please don't do all the "if onlys" and "why didn't Is" I have done that with more than one death and it doesn't change anything and you have no reason to feel any guilt over your brother.
 
Have you looked into getting a TENS unit to help with the pain since you can't take narcotics??? That is the only thing I have to turn to when none of the heat works.
 
We are here for you and feel free to e-mail.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 2/19/2009 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Sherrine.........awwwww, that was so sad!!!!!!  I cant imagine how you felt and what you had to go thru.  I sometimes wonder if my brother didnt want to bother me and tell me he wasnt feeling well.  You amaze me Sherrine,
your strength to carry on.   Thanks for sharing that with me.
 
Marlee.......I cant imagine what your loss was like.  We never stop crying for our love ones that we lose.  But its a part of life, and we take the good with the bad.  I have an ultrasound machine, but that doesnt even seem to work right now.  I took an extra xanax and I could actually feel the muscles start to loosen up.  You also, Marlee, are an extra special lady.
 
Ladies, thank you for sharing with me your story.  It makes me feel that I am not alone in this world. I am hoping for a good nights sleep tonite.
Writing here on the forum today has made me feel better.
 
You are all so wonderful tongue
Sue
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 2/22/2009 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, I guess all the stress of everything finally got to me. Thurs night I came down with the most awful, awful stomach flu I have ever had. My son, who is the nurse, was over, thank God (he has temporarily moved out after she attacked him, another story for another time). I just had my first meal an hour ago, which was a mashed banana. My son said this Norovirus is hitting hard, and when it hits, you have to be careful of dehydration. So I am up and about a little bit. And guess what ladies, do you think my
)$@^*$)$@@$_^% husband offered to do one thing??? Nope, but thats him.
Need to rest a bit, am still shaky and weak. Well, there goes my weight gain.
Oh well.........have a great day everyone
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax


patsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 2/22/2009 7:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tootie,

I am SOOOOOO sorry you got this virus. I think this is what my son got and could not come home for his birthday. Be very careful b/c he went back to work too soon and relapsed. Then he had a real rough go and he is young.

Amazing these men, how about bringing you a glass of water or even a smile. You know Tootie the longer I live the more amazed I am. I think most men just behave that way so we won't burden them with things. Do you know what I mean by setting up zero expectations, they are genius at that.

Than God for your son. My son is the same way, a saint among sinners hehehe!

Get better lady, Patsie
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