i should have known better!

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Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 2/25/2009 3:08 AM (GMT -6)   
i've been rebelling a lot lately....

now don't get me wrong i still love my job but all i do is work and sleep....
i know not to eat gluten because it makes me worse, but i do anyways sometimes.
i know not to be up this late when i have to work tomorrow but i went out tonight anyways with my friends....
but sometimes i want a little fun.... a little freedom to do whatever....
why does it have to have consequences?

i know i know i know BETTER!

but all i seem to know lately is i'm miserable.
i kept telling myself to just keep trucking along and it will get better but it doesn't.

my life is going to be a system of checks and balances.... where a slip up will cost me.... my penalty a flare.

a night of fun can cause me the rest of the week in misery!

i'm only 20.... i shouldnt have to care about much.... i shouldnt have to say no to so many things....

tonight i am weepy and tired(but my mind wont turn off to sleep).... i am angry and hurt....
tonight i think i realized what my life is gonna be like....
that this wont go away...

and i dread work tomorrow.

please keep me in your prayers.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 532
   Posted 2/25/2009 7:52 AM (GMT -6)   
I hope that today finds you in better spirits, Sometimes we need to enjoy our selves and if if it does have consequences. Sometimes when we start thinking about the consequences ahead of time it makes it worse. When I know i am over doing it I try not to think ahead of what is gonna happen. My husband and I were talking last night because I have been really sore lately and he keeps telling me spring is coming and it will be better. I am hopeful.
Last night I started dreading today and had to remind myself that its usually not as bad as I picture it is going to be. I think sometimes if we can think positive it makes it better Im not saying that its not sometimes worse. But I do believe in the power of positive thinking.
I hope yopu have a good day Im off to work.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 2/25/2009 8:33 AM (GMT -6)   

Hey there Sunshine!!

Lee Ann really hit the nail on the head.  I can't agree with her more.

Yes, it stinks to try to go have some fun, like everyone else, and have fibro.  Learning to pace ourselves is half the battle and it take FOREVER to learn how to handle it.  Somedays we can do more than others and its really confusing to figure it all out.

Sorry you're going through a rough patch.  I hope it gets better and you can figure out your fibro juggling routine.

Warm hugs,

Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/25/2009 8:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Vent away Lil Miss Sunshine we are here for you. You should be proud of yourself for doing all you do. There are a lot of 20 yr olds out there that are healthy that don't have the drive you do. Your not living off someone else your pulling your own weight as hard as it is for you. Should life have to be this hard for you, no, and I'm sorry it is. You should be able to go out and enjoy yourself with friends without paying for it the rest of the week. With this DD we have to concentrate on what we do accomplish not what we can't accomplish. We have to have hope that they will find better meds to help us. This may not be a life sentence for you and it sure isn't a death sentence.
Hang in there you are not alone and I do pray that it gets easier for you.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 2/25/2009 10:20 AM (GMT -6)   


I know having this is not easy- but I'm glad you got out and had some fun! I know the feeling of working and sleeping, and that is all you do. That is all I did when I worked fulltime and it becomes such a rut! I would think, is this all there is to life??? Yes, we may have to pay for it with having fibro but I am willing to do that because I want to live life! (I am not talking about all the time- because who wants extra pain) but we need to shake things up once in awhile.

Like Marlee said, in time, they may find better meds and even a cure- so gentle pats on the back for all you do!

Maybe a nap when you get home from work?


Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17055
   Posted 2/25/2009 10:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Sunshine.  OK.  Are you drinking alcohol when you are out with your friends?  Do you drink it at home?  If so, you are shooting yourself in the foot.  Alcohol intolerance is a symptom of fibromyalgia.  It also can cause some depression.  It also makes it hard sleep well, and we already have that problem with fibromyalgia.
Here are my suggestions.  First of all, no acohol.  Secondly, go to bed at the same time.  Sleep schedules really work.  Sometimes I go off it when I go out with friends, but I get back in the schedule the next day.  This does help with the pain.
Fibromyalgia is a chronic illnesses.  You will have pain and fatigue with it but you can have some semblance of control over it.  You just have to make some good decisions and stick with them.  You can still go out and have fun with your friends but I think I'd do that on the weekends.  I'd want to be alert and feeling as best as I could for my job.  I love non-alcoholic strawberry dacquaris when I go out.  They are good and they aren't hurting me...unless I have ten of them!  smhair
So, if you make a few adjustments you should find that you can control some of the pain and fatigue.  Be sure to keep stretching and doing light exercises.  This helps with the pain, also.  I'm sorry you are having to deal with this at such a young age but that is a fact of your life.  Now you need to face it head on and beat it at it's game.  We are here to help you do just that.  I hope you are having a much better day today.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 2/25/2009 11:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello LMS!

I hope today is a bit brighter for you. I know exactly how you feel. I'm am just coming to terms with having fibromyalgia and it is a sad time for me. I think we go through a grieving process as we adjust to life as it is now. But we can do it! We can have a great, meaningful life in spite of our illness and have some fun from time to time! We have to break out of the box now and then. But, I try to make sure it is worth it knowing I have to deal with the consequences later.

Have a good day and hang in there!

Chris turn turn
~ Fibromyalgia ~   
 On Imovane and Lyrica

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 2/25/2009 12:24 PM (GMT -6)   


Hopefully today finds you doing well. I have to agree with Sherrine. As much as it feels like you might be different for not drinking the alcohol when you go out, it sure makes you feel better. And, if not eating gluten helps, then don't eat the gluten. I only say that because I know it is hard. I am 24 and experienced the whole "college life" and couldn't figure out why I didn't like to drink. Well, I never felt good...and not cause I got hammered, because I had fibro (didn't know it then). It turns out, by the time i was 21, I was the official DD. I learned to not let it bother me because I knew my friends had a safe ride home and I stuck to the free water at the bar. I also felt much better than they did the next day. ;) Granted, I didn't have the stories they did, but I could tell them the parts they forgot...well, the ones I didn't forget from fog. ;) Anyway, it doesn't have to be a death sentence. And if you feel you won't fit in, you will. At some point, your life will be everything you want it to be and you will be surrounded by those that understand you (and all that comes with it) and you won't feel the need to worry about doing something because it's cool. Not that that is why you are doing this, but it can be easier to go with the flow knowing you are going to be in pain the next day than to stand up and be different.

As far as the gluten thing, I just recently went gluten free and it was hard. However, i have noticed a TREMENDOUS difference in how I feel and I instantly know if i have contaminated myself. Looking back, I think I was robbing myself of the mere opportunity to hang out with others because i was ingesting toxins. Perhaps look at things from a different perspective...if you really want to hang out or go out with these people, do the very best that you can to put yourself in a condition to go out with them. If you are eating gluten and staying up late or missing meds, you aren't really helping yourself. I hope that you understand what I am saying. I am not saying that what you are doing is bad, but, I know you can turn your life around and feel better. and at 20, you certainly deserve it. I wish I knew I had fibro at 20, would have made things a TON better.

Also, now that i have been gluten free all of my friends and family are on board. i have had some wonderful dining out experiences lately as they all cater to my needs. I promise you, it is not easy at first, but you will get the hang of it. If you need help with it, let me know. I am more than willing to tell you what brands I use or what brands I like or where to start. I also sent my intimate friends and family the spoon theory story and that has really helped them to understand my energy level and how it differs some days. Also, if i know i am doing an all day shopping trip with the bestie, the night before i take it easy and get tons of rest (and wear comfy shoes the next day!!). I don't think you have to sacrifice being an amazing, energetic young woman for this "disease." Trust me, i thought so. But, i made a few conscious decisions and they really paid off.

I hope you are having an amazing hump day! If you have any questions or want any advice, let me know!


24. Diagnosed with Fibro in Aug. 08 and Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder in December 08. Gluten free since Nov. 08.
Surgeries: Compartment Syndrome/Medial Tibial Stress Syndrome Dec. 05; Lap Nissen Fundoplacation Aug 06; Exploratory Lap Feb. 08.
Played college soccer. Going back to school to be a Registered Dietitian.
"I control the disease, it does not control me."

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 257
   Posted 2/25/2009 2:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear LMS - I guess as I read and re-read your post, I don't hear you asking for advice...as you said, you do know better.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this DD at your young age - in fact, I just realized you are the same age as my daughter.

I'm praying that you get through today as best you can - even if it's a struggle. Just take it one day at a time.

Hang in there, kiddo - that's a victory in and of itself!

Still learning how to manage my Fibromylagia, and all the lovely gifts it brings.   
I had severe spinal stenosis, had fusion done on C5-7, and my life has changed. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 346
   Posted 2/25/2009 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   

you are in a funny spot. I was there too. I am 24...20 is about the age I needed to take a big break from school. I took a year an a half off...it was the combo or work, school...and life in general...and I just felt I could not handle it all. I wanted to hang out with friends..I needed to work to pay the bills...and school was slipping. In hindsight...all I really needed to do was SLOW DOWN...not a lot...just about one step back. a few hours less with friends...a more consistent schedule..blah blah..but...who has the foresight to know that!? part of it is what its all about to be 20. you have to do these things to figure out to how live later. sometimes a good time is worth the pain- being with friends can put you in a good enough mood so that the pain is easier to deal with. when I took that time off from school, I made a really easy work sched. for myself and I spent a lot of time out side...hiking and stuff...I became a more independent person. I lived far away from all of my friends...now I need less time out to be satisfied! as mentioned above...you were not asking for advice..you know...and sometimes you just need to vent...we cant spend our whole lives not doing things because we might have some pain the next day... Sherrine is right though...sleep is important.

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