post traumatic experience

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sinderela
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/10/2009 2:08 PM (GMT -7)   
when i was 12 years old ., my father was an alcoholic , my mother said that she'll be back home the next morning to see her father at the countryside and just me and my younger brother left with my father. the evening came and me and my younger brother went to bed and sleep , in the middle of the night i was awaken and i foung that my father  and i ask him what is he doing he told me to back to sleep which i cant ijust lay down confused, the morning came and mother arrived i told her about it and she just told me he wouldnt do such thing, from then on i remain quiet , angry, became stubborn, i always come home late from school , stayed with my friends or at the park by the trees, my grades are failing and my mother invited twice at the school because im so talkative and i dont do my homeworks , cut classes , and more.  my mother said that i was a pain in a heck and told me if she only knew i grew up like this she should press my nosr when i am still a baby. i graduate from high school and went to college just to hang around with friends and to step out of the house , i told my mom that id rather stayed with my aunt for college and she agreed. then i met someone and he really cares so i eloped and satayed with him, my mother found out and she go through my diary and found out where we lived so she take me back home, my elder brother slap me my younger brother just looking and comfort me afterwards. after college i went to work in different place and so with my boyfriend and we get married privately an weve been together for 39 years now.  my husband know what happened to me when i was young . i felt better when i told him about it. my mother passed away , but we had heart to heart talk telling her she ignore me , she apologised and ask me to forgive my father for what he did to me , on my moms dying bed i said its difficult but i will in my mind  against it.  now still i am suffering still haunts me if i thought my father still living out there and living with another woman at 22 years old my father is 70. i talk to him once when i found out this young girl.and thats it i never talk to him again its been five years now since my mother died.  i am going to see a psychiatrist again but i hesitate to mention this i know this add to my physical problem.  psychiatrist will just give you an advice for sure and more medication. thank you for reading my story i am whining right now , heartbroken and confused.......................................

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/10/2009 10:33:16 PM (GMT-6)


patsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 3/10/2009 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Sinderela,

Welcome to our forum where everyone is helpful. I have never seen anyone here judge or criticize anyone in need.

That is a horrible thing you lived through BUT you did. Yes, I am sure the impact is there forever as in our unconscious minds there is no concept of time. It can be like it all happened yesterday. Sometimes understanding and thinking about that relieves the pain and suffering. A psychiatrist can be helpful IF they understand you now have a pain syndrome from the abuse. The physical pain has to be as understood as well as the psychological issues.

Many of us have suffered from childhood abuse, you have just been very straight forward with your introduction. At least you are facing it.

A very interesting name you have chosen there.

Please know we will be here to listen and help as much as we can. That is the great thing about our family.

Patsie

stitching star
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 3/10/2009 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sinderella!

I am so sorry for the abuse you endured as a child. I know much of how you feel. BTDT sort of, but not with my dad.

I know it was a long time ago, but you really NEED to go to a Rape/Incest Survivors' Group. It will give you all kinds of strength and support. You will be able to feel better and happier than you ever have! It will truly help.

As a first step, go talk to someone at a Domestic Violence Shelter. I know your dh is not abusing you, but your father DID. It still qualifies as DV, and the people at the Shelter will know of the resources and groups in your area that will be able to help you. They will also be able to do private therapy with you to help you cope with this.

You are an amazingly strong woman. You have to be to survive the years of incest you endured. Please get the therapy. It really does help. If you can't go to a DV shelter, go to a private psychologist, esp if you can find one who specialized in incest/rape survivor therapy.

Also, you probably have some degree of PTSD. The gold standard therapy for that is EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitivation something or other. It is AMAZING. Esp when combined with some other forms of therapy.

I am sending strength and gentle hugs to you.
Susie
SAHM, kids are the light of my life
dh of 17 yrs, my sweetie
ds 16yo, great kid, Sr. in high school
dd 13yo, my reward, homeschooled
ds 8yo, amazing kid, great magician
 
2 furbabies - Gracie and Capn Morgan, both cats
1 featherbaby - cockatiel - Goldi the Evil
 
I have always imagined paradise will be some type of library.
     -Jorges Luis Borges
        


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 3/10/2009 9:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sinderela,

I am so sorry for what you endured as a child. I am sure that it still bothers you to this day. But remember you were innocent through all of this. You didn't do anything wrong.

If you ever feel the need to, you are welcome to post on the depression forum. There are a lot of wonderful members there that are so kind and understanding as there are here too.

Just try to take things one day at a time and try not to dwell too much on the past as well as to not worry about the future. Live in the moment. Sweetie you deserve to be happy.

Thanks for posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


GamJill
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 3/11/2009 6:25 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sinderela and Welcome-

Sad. Sad. Sad. I too am so sorry for what you have gone through. I'm sure it resurfaces and I would get the support that you need, whether it be a support group or professional help. You deserve to be happy like Karen said!  

GamJill


 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

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