I am so sorry for the abuse you endured as a child. I know much of how you feel. BTDT sort of, but not with my dad.
I know it was a long time ago, but you really NEED to go to a Rape/Incest Survivors' Group. It will give you all kinds of strength and support. You will be able to feel better and happier than you ever have! It will truly help.
As a first step, go talk to someone at a Domestic Violence Shelter. I know your dh is not abusing you, but your father DID. It still qualifies as DV, and the people at the Shelter will know of the resources and groups in your area that will be able to help you. They will also be able to do private therapy with you to help you cope with this.
You are an amazingly strong woman. You have to be to survive the years of incest you endured. Please get the therapy. It really does help. If you can't go to a DV shelter, go to a private psychologist, esp if you can find one who specialized in incest/rape survivor therapy.
Also, you probably have some degree of PTSD. The gold standard therapy for that is EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitivation something or other. It is AMAZING. Esp when combined with some other forms of therapy.
I am sending strength and gentle hugs to you.
SAHM, kids are the light of my life
dh of 17 yrs, my sweetie
ds 16yo, great kid, Sr. in high school
dd 13yo, my reward, homeschooled
ds 8yo, amazing kid, great magician
2 furbabies - Gracie and Capn Morgan, both cats
1 featherbaby - cockatiel - Goldi the Evil
I have always imagined paradise will be some type of library.
-Jorges Luis Borges