I really screwed up big time...

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EmberKitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 3/28/2009 2:01 AM (GMT -7)   
My hubby and I share a car which is hard, but we normally make it work ok...until today.  I was supposed to pick him up at 9:30 from work.  I was having such a hard day that I laid down at about 7:30 to rest because everything hurt and I was so tired.  I fell asleep, apparently I fell asleep hard core.  I haven't been sleeping that well lately so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.  I had my cell next to me, but didn't hear it.  Needless to say I way overslept...Hubby is really upset with me :(  He had to call a friend to drive 30 minutes to pick him up and bring him home and even then It took him 25 minutes of pounding on the door and bedroom window to wake me up.
 
I feel so bad I had no intention of falling asleep and had no idea that I could sleep that deeply right now.  I just want to curl in a ball and cry.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 3/28/2009 4:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Nobody's perfect. I'm sure Hubby has made his fair share of mistakes also, somewhere down the line. Unless he's perfect, then run like h---. Anyway, send him Fibro's open letter to normals, Fibro 101 thread. When people are angry with me I give them lots of time and space  to regain perspective. Heck, I accidentally left my 3 year old in a shopping cart at the grocery store once. I was pulling out of the lot when I turned to look in back seat, empty carseat, whoops. He was still chattering away at the check-out as I came full speed through the exit, in total panic. Don't fret so, hubby will survive. You're only human. hey?

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


pattipanda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 3/28/2009 5:01 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi EmberKitty!!

I'm not sure that we have met .. so welcome to the forum!!! 

Oh Hon, I KNOW what you're going through, my husband can't drive because he's legally blind & he can't pass the eye test.  So, he relies on my to get him everywhere.  If I'm a minute or two late I always feel terrible.  Last fall, when I was still working, I forgot to pick him up... I completely spaced it.  When I finally realized that I had forgotten him I jumped in the car and sped to his work and he wasn't there.  A friend drove him home while I was on my way to get him.  So when I got home he was extremely upset with me.  After he grumbled at me for a while, I finally said, "I feel so bad about forgetting you, I was completely overloaded at work and time got away from me.  I really didn't mean to forget. Please, I feel bad enough about this and all of your whining isn't making me feel any worse than I already feel."  By the next day he had gotten over it.  But I still feel bad about it till today.

Tyno mentioned checkinng out Fibro 101, the second thread on the forum.. there are lots of links on there that can help when you're going through a tough time with people in your life that don't understand fibro and how it effects you.

I hope my story helped you a little bit.  Don't be too hard on yourself.. we all make mistakes sometimes.. with or without fibro.

Take care and gentle hug,


Patti
 
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 3/28/2009 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   
I overheard a story once, an oldie gentleman, over 100 yrs. was being interviewed. The interviewer asked if he had it to do over again, what would he have done differently? His reply, Ï would have made more mistakes'. To err is human. Stop beating ourselves up, suggests I.

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 3/28/2009 7:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ember and welcome. Wow you must have been tired to have slept that deep. You can turn this around and tell him he should be happy that you got some much needed sleep. devil I'm glad we have two vehicles cause I don't have the patience to wait for anyone to pick me up. He will get over it, give him some extra attention today.
 
Tyno, I left my purse in a cart one time but I never forgot a child. Thought about it a few times when they were being impossible in the store. turn
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


.....
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 3/28/2009 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Marlee -

In the short time I've "known" you I can already tell you are a "take care of everybody else" type of person. I know you feel bad but please don't be so hard on yourself.

Actually my husband did something similar to ME once, and he isn't a fibromite! He was on a business trip to Scotland, and I knew he was going to use his day off there to play golf at St. Andrews. He rented a car and drove to the golf course from Edinburgh - alone. When he didn't call at the time I expected, I started getting worried. He was in a foreign country alone driving in bad weather on the "wrong" side of the road with diabetes, and he ALWAYS pushes low blood sugars WAY too far. I was sure his car was in a ditch somewhere in the middle of nowhere, with him in a diabetic coma. I waited until it was about midnight there before I tried calling his hotel room. There was no answer. At this point I was frantic and just didn't know what to do. I tried his room again around 2:00 a.m. Still no answer. I started searching the internet for contact info for Scotland police.

While I was looking, hubby popped up on instant messenger! Oh, when he got back to his room after playing golf, he laid down "for a moment" intending to go for dinner after a brief rest, and fell asleep. A very deep sleep. Apparently the phone in the room had been turned down so he never heard it ring when I called. When I told him how frantic I was and that I thought there was something terribly wrong he said, "Nope I'm here." That's it. Not, "Gee, sorry I had you worried" or any of that. His attitude was, "oh well it was an accident, and you worry too much." Grrr. If he had been in this country I would have thrown someting at him!

Anyway I guess my point is don't be so hard on yourself. These things can happen to anyone.

{{{{hugs}}}}
song
Fibromyalgia, Gastroparesis, IBS
Endometriosis, Hypothyroidism, Psoriasis, Asthma
(Diabetic spouse)
 


.....
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 3/28/2009 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
OOPS! Fibro-moment! So sorry Ember - I don't know what made me thing Marlee posted this!!!

Geez - I'm a dope

Anyway, same point applies to you Ember. And all of the fibro-mites who try so hard to please everyone around them and just can't be perfect all of the time! (including me!)
Fibromyalgia, Gastroparesis, IBS
Endometriosis, Hypothyroidism, Psoriasis, Asthma
(Diabetic spouse)
 


EmberKitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 3/28/2009 9:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone, he's still kinda hurt and I am still not happy with myself but things are starting to calm down. It doesn't help that we had a small fight the day before so he got it in his head me not showing up was punishing him. I think we have most of it talked out. And I am going to check out the open letter to see if it will help. I had put together a slideshow for my friends and family on FM and how it affects me and that helped some. I just can't seem to explain well enough the severity of pain and exhaustion I feel. It can be so frustrating somedays.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 3/29/2009 4:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Emberkitty; "Women who love too much" by Robyn  Norway, I believe. It's to help you "let go". Also, my all time favorite bestest book, I think I've bought 50 copies and handed them out to people who need to "let go", (in my opinion, only), Melody Beattie's "The Language of Letting Go". Also "Smart Love", forgot the author.I was compulsively co-dependent. (Not judging you, just sharing my experiences).

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


Dieann63
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/29/2009 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Im sure that after your Hubby calms down, he will realize that you did not do it intensionally, and he will get over it. He just has to get over the initial anger of it. I understand... Sleep sometimes comes and nothing else can break in. I wake up and look at my clock and see alarm went off and I never heard it, and my young one is a sound sleeper and he doesnt hear it either. Just be extra sweet to him and apologize, even if it takes 7 times, he will get over it if he loves you and understands your health issues.
Take Care
Diane
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Chronic Acute Pancreatitis (From Birth Defects), Disc's Compressed in Neck and here and there all the way down & Herniated Disks, Osteo, Depression, (Wonder Why, IBS and Gerd. ((Im sure theres more but why bother, right!))
Current Med's: Methadone, Percocet, Baclofen, High Dose Vit D, Pancreacarb, Prylosec, Sennacot,
As Needed:Flexeral , Attarax , Tramadol, Lidoderm,Glycolax,
Theres more but who cares!!


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 3/30/2009 4:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello and welcome Dianne 63. Boy sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Those meds would drop me in a minute. Anyway, I just wanted to say Hi, and welcome you to Fibro Forum.

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.

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