He finally listened to me..............

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Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/28/2009 6:01 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband, since I was dx with fibro in Dec of 2007 has never believed Fibro existed.  He refused to read anything about it, called it a "lazy womans" problem, said it was all in my head, and on and on.  Since I have had a flare going for almost 3 months, I think he finally realized how could she be faking this for so long.
I moved into my sons old bedroom, just so I could stretch out and TRY for a good nigts sleep.  I was going to bed last night, after I have used about 6 camphor towelettes on my entire body.  He came in and said what is that smell I am always smelling.  I threw the box at him and said, here read this and started to cry.  He finally said, ok, what is this thing you have........arghhhhhhhh!  I happened to have one of my fibro books on the dresser and I said "I am too sore to talk to you about it at 11 at night, go read this".  This morning I was making his breakfast and he said
he read most of the book last night.  He didnt realize how bad fibro could be, how it impacts lives, and he couldnt imagine what the pain was like.
I almost flipped out.  I just looked at him and said, well maybe now you will realize that I DONT WANT TO BE THIS WAY.  Why the he$$ would any woman want to walk around like a zombie for 3 months???? He said he was sorry, and said he would bring dinner home tonite, so I wouldnt have to cook. He asked if I had been to the dr!!!!! Well duh. How did I get diagnosed.  I told him there is little they can do, since I cant take narcotics and the Dr will not give me Lyrica.  He offered to get me a massage and I told him I would like that after the flare has stopped.
 
It was like a breakthru for me. Even my son, who is a nurse, couldnt get thru to him
 
THE LIGHTBULB FINALLY WENT ON!!!!!!!  Yeah, now maybe I will get a little help around here.
 
Sue
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax/lipitor


pattipanda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 3/28/2009 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh Sue!!!

That's WONDERFUL news!!!!!  I had to laugh to myself when I read that .. you "threw the book at him"!! 

What was the name of the book???  I'm sure there are lots of other folks that would like to know.  Hopefully, now that he understands, some of your stress will be lifted and you can start moving out of that nasty flare.

I'm really happy for you!!!!  I hope things continue to go well.

Hugs!! 


Patti
 
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown


Meggie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 408
   Posted 3/28/2009 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Sue,
That is wonderful!  I had the same experience with my husband.  Our relationship was headed south very fast and that woke him up. On his own he started doing some reading and his tune changed pretty quick.  I can understand why other people have a hard time accepting this disorder but our own family, I just don't get it.  They can see our daily struggle and probably can remember when we were energetic and in no pain, so why would they think it's all in our heads shakehead .  Anyway, I am so glad that you finally have some support.  Actually my husband started doing to much for me, which was nice but I had to tell him stop doing everything.  We are still trying to find our balance but things are so much better. 
 
Make sure you tell your husband how much you appreciate his trying to understand, it will encourage him to keep researching. 
Meggie
 
Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Restless Leg Syndrome, Migraines
42 year old proud mom of three daughters


SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 3/28/2009 6:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Sue,

Oh, I am so happy for you! It can be so hard to get those around us to understand-my hubby sort of gets it, but not completely of course, and there are still times when he is insensitive and clueless about what I go through. (Just yesterday I said something in passing about how much my muscles were burning and he said "oh, I know the feeling"-I didn't point out to him that HIS muscles were burning from running around with our son during baseball practice, whereas MY muscles just burn all the darn time!!)

I do really hope that this is the real breakthrough for your hubby that you need. You really do need him to be understanding and helpful, and to knock it off with the comments about it being all in your head or you're just lazy or whatever! I will be praying that he continues to try and understand and help you out.

{{{{hugs}}}}
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/28/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks gals..........we shall see how serious he is, but hopefully he got the messagie.

Patti, the name of the book is "Fibromyalgia....An Essential Guide for Patients and Their Families, by Danied J Wallace and Janice Brook Wallace.

I found it at Borders.   They have so many out now, and its hard to choose.  But this is the first book I bought after I was dx.  Is endorsed by the National Fibro Foundation. You can probably find it on Amazon.

Will keep u all posted

Have a great day everyone

Sue


Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax/lipitor


.....
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 3/28/2009 7:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Prior to my fibro dx my husband would roll his eyes when I complained about aches and pains and insisted I was a hypochondriac, it was all in my head, or I was exaggerating, or just lazy. He almost had me convinced! I had a lot of pain and stiffness around my joints so I went to the rheumy expecting a dx of rheumatoid arthritis (my mom had it real bad and it is familial). I had no idea about fibro at the time. I am SO GLAD my husband went with me to that appointment so he could hear the doctor make the fibro diagnosis and explain what fibro is. That dx explained so much more than just my joint pain! Anyway, keeping on point, I had my share of the non-believing-spouse and it is extremely frustrating. Thankfully, since mine heard it directly from the dr.s mouth he has been very understanding. I'm glad to hear your hubby has finally seen the light!
Fibromyalgia, Gastroparesis, IBS
Endometriosis, Hypothyroidism, Psoriasis, Asthma
(Diabetic spouse)
 


GamJill
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 3/28/2009 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   

That is great news and I loved your story- I think this will bring you closer and you can now get the support that you have needed from him! 

GamJill


 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17095
   Posted 3/28/2009 11:02 AM (GMT -7)   
This is wonderful news, Sue!  Things should be a lot better than they were.  At least he's trying to understand now and that is the real hurdle to cross.  Congratulations!
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Binki
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 386
   Posted 3/28/2009 12:08 PM (GMT -7)   
YA!!! WOOHOO!! Hugs all the way around!!

I am so happy for you, that's wonderful, wonderful news! I know how thick a mans head can be.
Lori  
 
Dx Fibro 1/2008, gastritis
 
600mg Gabapentin, 50mg Pristiq, Ultracet and/or Fentanyl patch as needed, Vitamin D3, Menopausal Support Multi-vitamin


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 3/28/2009 12:50 PM (GMT -7)   
This brought tears to my eyes Sue. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for you with all you have been through these last few months. I think this will change many things in your life.
 
I'm sooo happy I want to give you a big gentle ((((HUG))))!!!!
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


jewelrylady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 3/28/2009 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Sue, If I could jump up & down, I would.  I am really, really happy for you.  Wow, just the idea that he sat all night & read is so touching.  When my husband "got it" I was so relieved.  He didn't say anything, he is a very quiet man, he just started doing things, like sweeping the floor & when I would say "oh I'm sorry I should have tried to stay on top of that" he just said "no, you go lay down, this isn't going to hurt me".  It felt so good.  As I said before I am so happy for you.  Love & hugs, Denise

PS I also had to laugh when Patti said "you through the book at him", You go girl.  yeah


 I have:  Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression, TMJ, anxiety  Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.    Prov. 25:11


myjoy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 3/28/2009 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
This is great news. I have a hubby who understands most all of the time. I know I'm very blessed in that. What is the name of the book you have?
fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea.
fluoxetine (prozac), buspar, abilify, trazodone, lorazapam, nexium, nabumetone, hydrocodone, flexeryl, c-pap machine, estrodial patch.


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/30/2009 5:45 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks ladies.........this weekend was very nice, veryyyyy nice.  He called me from the office on Sat afternoon and said lets go out to dinner.  We went to a very nice Italian restaurant, and it was a nice conversation, mostly about our boys.  We went to early church, then he had to return some shirts to the mall. He even told me to go sit and order a Starbucks if the walking was too much for me, so I did just that.  This is like a dream.  We came home and, usually when he is around, I dont like to lay down.  But I did, and when he popped into the bedroom, he was very quiet and quietly closed the door.

WHO IS THIS MAN??????  Yikes, smhair .  I hope no one pinches me and I wake up!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs

Sue


Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
 xanax/lipitor


pattipanda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 3/30/2009 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   

LOL... sorta like.. who are YOU and what did you do with my husband??? 

Oh Sue, enjoy this!!!  You deserve it!!!  I'm sure he kinda feels like he's been a pretty big shnook where you & your health were concerned.  I know this may sound kinda crazy, but you're going to have to get used to being treated the way you should. 

I'm so lucky that my husband understands my problem.. but I know there are times he wants me just to "get over it".. especially when his band is playing and I can't make it to a show. (that's been happening alot).  But aside from not feeling well enough to go, one of the band wives is an absolute JERK and I can't stand pretending I like her.  Being within 10 feet of that woman makes me very uncomfortable.  You know me .. I LOVE everyone.. but that woman just drives me nuts!!

Again.. enjoy your NEW husband!! LOL.. He sounds like he's really trying and that's just AWESOME!!!

Hugs for now..


Patti
 
Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel, Psoriasis. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Xanax, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

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