Hi Folks, This is Alex Trebeck and tonight we will change our format of the game a bit and play Fibromite Jeopardy. Our contestants are Shirley, Helen and Mona. As to keep the game moving, I will list the subjects and read the questions and who ever knows the answer will press the buzzer. First, Shirley. Could you tell us a little something about yourself.
Shirley: What buzzer? Where's the buzzer....I can't find my buzzer, Arthur.
Alex: Okee Dokey Now. (eye roll) let's move on to Helen. Where are you from?
Helen: Well Allen, I'm from a little town in Oklahoma. It begins with an 'R'.
Alex. Very interesting. (clears throat). Mona, tell us about your family.
Mona: Thank you for inviting me on the show, Alvin. I have three dogs and like to crochet...that is on the days my hands aren't twisted into painful claws. Ha...Fibro is a *****...Oh am I allowed to say that?
Well. Now that we have heard a bit from our contestants, let's start the game. Todays catagories are:
'Ouch, that frickin' hurts'
Where's my keys
Who Am I?
Ancient Egyptian Coins.
Shirley, you go first.
Shirley: I'll take muscle spasms for 200, Adam.
Alex: That's not a catagory, Shirley. I'll pick one for you. We'll start with Where's my keys. The Question is: When most fibromites lose their keys, where do they usually find them?
Mona presses her buzzer. What is, In the freezer.
Alex: Sorry Mona, that's not right.
Helen: What is, In the toe of my slipper!
Alex: Sorry wrong. Shirley...do you know the answer?
Shirley: I can't find my buzzer! Oh...here it is! What is in the car door.
Alex: Sorry ladies, you are all wrong. The correct answer is In the Cornstarch Box. In the Cornstarch Box. And Shirley...that is not the buzzer. It's your garage door opener. A member of our staff with find your buzzer during this commerical break.
They are back.
Alex: Let's continue with Ouch that frickin' hurts for 200. The question is: You are sleeping and have to use the bathroom. Both of your legs are numb. What do you do?
Mona: What is 'swear and limp."
Alex: Sorry, that's not right.
Shirley: What is 'use the coffee can by the side of the bed.'
Alex: Oh Shirely, you crack me up but that is wrong also.
Helen: "Crawl and roll....crawl and roll."
Alex: That's right Helen...however you did not phrase it in the form of a question so I can't give it to you.
Helen: Bite me, Mr. Truman. I want the $200.
Alex: Later, Helen. For now, let's move on to Lyrica for 200. The question is "Lyrica is a very popular drug used for fibromyalgia. Which drug company produces it?
Helen. What is, when I was 24 years old I fell down an elevator shaft and broke every bone in my body. That's when my fibro was dx'd.
Alex: Wrong. Please listen to the question.
Mona: What is Betty Crocker.
Alex: Oh my good God. WRONG!
Shirley: Ten men from Botswana. You know, when I'm really mad at somebody, I like to crush up about three Lyrica tablets and put it in their coffee and watch their eyes pop outta their head!
Alex: Wrong, wrong, wrong. I'm not even going to give you the correct answer. This game is over. Mona, get up off the floor.
Mona: MY LEGS ACHE! Give me some money!
Shirley: I knit nose cozy's for those really cold nights when my nostrils freeze shut. I sell them on E-Bay.
Alex: (Sighing) Do any of you women even know you are are national televsion?
Helen: Of course...I'm about to do the tango with George Clooney. We're on Dancing with the Stars...Aren't we?
Alex: "Cut! Stop rolling the tape!"
Helen: I know all about ancient Egyptian Coins. I use them in the dollar store all the time. They are five sided, solid gold pieces with Cleopatra on the front....I have also spent them in Macy's....I just LOVE cashmere....I mean I have fibro and cashmere is so soft against my pruny, pimply skin....
Finally, the screen goes black and the three fibromites are awarded $5000 each for promising to never come within a ten mile radius of the studio.
They take a taxi to the Ritz and hi-five each other all the way to the hotel spa. They may have fibro but they aren't STUPID!
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ Meds: Lexapro and valium