What to do when another member of your family doesn't feel well...

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SassyIsMyKitty
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 4/13/2009 1:15 PM (GMT -7)   
In my home, it is just me, my husband, and our 18 month old son. I usually feel miserable, but some days are better than others. What do you all do when someone else in your family/household is not feeling well when you yourself feel terrible? How do you reach out to them and take care of yourself at the same time? How do you make yourself get up and out of bed to do things when you feel so lousy.
I feel so terrible because I know my husband isn't feeling well today. My son was up all night last night, it seems, and I was in a drug-induced sleep, which I usually cannot be woken from. So my husband is tired and not feeling very well today, but I am in a whole lot of pain and I am tired even though I got sleep last night. I just feel so guilty because I don't know what to do for him, and I feel guilty for just lying around and doing next to nothing.
Any advice??
~MDD, Fibromyalgia, OCD, Anxiety Disorders, IBS, TMJ, Arthritis~
 
May your heart be filled with love and joy.
May your mind be clear and true.
May your smiles be many,
And may your tears be few. 
May God wrap you in His arms
Especially when you're feeling blue.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40592
   Posted 4/13/2009 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tiki,

My advice is to not let yourself feel guilty over this. Let your husband know that you care and appologize for not being able to do anything for him. That is about the best that you can do. I am sorry that the baby didn't sleep last night and kept your husband up. I am sorry that he is feeling bad. I worry though that you have been sleeping so hard that you don't hear the baby. Maybe you should cut back on your sleep medications a little bit. Please don't take it the wrong way, I am not saying that you are missusing, I just wonder if you are sleeping too hard. That can stop you from getting a restful sleep as no sleep can.

Basically what I want to say is not to feel guilty about this, you can't help that you can't nurture another through sickness, when you are sick yourself.

I hope that you feel better soon. Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 4/13/2009 8:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Karen. Maybe your husband is different from the ones I know, but for some reason, it is expected that the mom is up all night with the baby, then get up in the morning and feed the baby, feed the family, do the shopping, vacuuming, dishes and gardening and go work at a job all day all while looking like a glamour princess with perfect hair, nails, makeup and smoothly shaved legs. While a husband who stays up with the baby can mope around with a hangdog expression and moan and complain and act as if he is the very first person in the entire world who has ever stayed up with a baby and it should be broadcast in the news what a hero he is while his wife dotes on him and pats him on the head and says poor little bunny.

Maybe I should say how I really feel! ha ha (of course, the guys here are the exception) :)
Sue

donnaeil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 4/13/2009 10:59 PM (GMT -7)   
It is life. When we are parents, we learn that we come way behind the baby sometimes. Being up at night with a child can be tough but both parents have to share this responsibility.

I do not know if an apology is necessary. You can thank him for his help but please do not make this seem as if he was being wonderful for doing what you usually do.

Donnaeil

SassyIsMyKitty
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 4/14/2009 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   

Last night, I offered to take half my normal dose of Trazodone so that I might be of more use to him, but he insisted I take the full dose. He knows that I am miserable if I don't get the kind of sleep that I need. Our son was up a lot last night too. He went to the doctor today, and we found out that he has an ear infection, which explains why he hasn't been sleeping too well.
Sometimes, I hate having to take meds to help me sleep because I know that I am like the dead when I take them. Nothing wakes me up when I take them. But, if I take less than 150mg, I don't sleep. It is way weird.
Anyways. I appreciate you all being here for me. I don't know what I would do without all of you.


~MDD, Fibromyalgia, OCD, Anxiety Disorders, IBS, TMJ, Arthritis~
 
May your heart be filled with love and joy.
May your mind be clear and true.
May your smiles be many,
And may your tears be few. 
May God wrap you in His arms
Especially when you're feeling blue.

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