Oh .. you gals are awesome and so sweet!!! Thanks for all of your kind word and thanks for sharing some of your personal experiences. I know my organization isn't the only one to go through this. As a matter of fact this is the 2nd time in 10 years that the org. has delt with embezzlement. I was always very careful about the book-keeping end of things because of the past issues they had had. Nothing improper ever happened under my watch and if we couldn't find a few bucks here or there I would always take it out of my own pocket to make it right.
Now that I'm resonibly sure that my former employee did this and I was instructed by the police not to have any communication with her or her family I feel as though that friend has died. So to top off this whole mess I feel the grief that one would feel when dealing with a death, but this time its as if she told me to ^*%( % - off before she took her last breath. I feel this way because the person I thought I knew doesn't exsist anymore.
As for the flare that I feared. Yesterday, I got a massage. I had a hard time enjoying it because I was so tense. Most of the day, yesterday, I felt pretty wrung out. Again.. my phone rang all day. Today... I'm feeling very stiff and sore. I think I'm starting to flare.. DANG-IT!! I had been feeling pretty good for a few days and now.. I'm not so sure. I try not to take my pain meds as often as its prescribed, but I will for the next few days and see how it goes. If I'm not feeling better by Monday I'll call the doctor. I have couple of trips planned for next week and the week after.. I want be able to enjoy them.
My massage therapist said my lower back (which has been really bugging me for the past month or so) was as "tight as a wire" and she recommended that I get that looked at. GREAT, I don't want to have to deal with that again... that's from my disk problems. I've been having a lot of pain in that area and if I lay down .. it spazzes out so badly that I can't get up with out tremendous pain. So I know I'll be MRI bound soon.
Fortunately this won't effect my new job. Its in the same industry and I was very concerned they wouldn't want me after this big mess. But my furture boss said the board of directors was delighted that I would be going back to work there... so that's the GOOD news!! Now if my body will allow it I'll be starting on May 4th!!
Again.. thanks everyone for your kind words. And please say a little prayer for me that this won't result in a full blown flare.
Dear Pattipanda: I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I also don't know what to say, and as ya'll know, that's very unusual, for me. However, having said that, I will share a little experience I've had similar, to what you describe. In hard economic times, desperate people or people with nothing to lose, cause they lost it all, will do desperate things. You have to forgive her. Otherwise it will eat you alive. Send a note to jail, tell her you love and forgive her, but have to "detach in love" for your own sake. She has lots of chums where she is now, probably more than she wants.
I was called upon by a lady, once, dying of cancer. She was being cared for prior to my involvement by her husband who also had cancer, and he died. I helped her through that time, as best I could. Then her, wanted by three counties, meth addicted (the absolute worst thing on the planet, turns people into wild animals, do not turn your back on a meth addict) son, somehow qualified for early release as his mother was "dying of cancer, and he wanted to go be by her side" B.S. showed up. I split. So weeks later, back in Canada, when I split, I really split, ie 3000 miles, I got a phone call fro her. She wanted me back. I said "what about ______ (son)? She assured me he was out of the picture. She explained he was living elsewhere and called before coming, and since he did, I could leave before he arrived and stay away until he left, etc. etc. etc. Well, trusting, naive, me. Off I went. Rescue my friend. I don't think I need say more. I was her "caregiver", there were guns and drugs in the house, she said guns, for her own protection, drugs as she was end stage cancer, powerful drugs. Plus all kinds of saleables. Her money went missing. I hid her medicine. I was accosted by Mr. Charming meth addict who was about to beat me to death, until I handed over her drugs. I did not hand them over, I said Give me three minutes, I went in, grabbed as much of my stuff as I could, put the drugs in the regular place, on her bed, hopped in my truck, grabbed my big Rotty, Grissly Bear of a dog, and split. Fallout: three weeks later I had a visit from an investigator for adult protection. She wanted to know where the drugs and money went. It was sooooo, stressful. Also, the son, would circle the small town we lived in looking for me, he blamed me for everything, and I had to keep moving. I would have done my major split routine, but I had committed to another family, to help them. I should have split, but then, that would look suspicious too, so I hung in. It was a terrible thing to go through, and being a small town, and me somewhat of an outsider, "where there's smoke there's fire" attitude due to boredom in small town life. Patti, it was simply awful. I somehow separated myself, from the incident, like Business vs. Personal, that being business. That's how I got through. How's that for not having much to say?