Post Edited (kissi) : 4/28/2009 10:18:23 PM (GMT-6)
I'm a former Jersey Girl myself!!! Lived everywhere in central NJ!! But I left there about 10 years ago and moved to the heartland.. Indiana. I love it here. I was "up to here" with NJ. I couldn't stand the over population, traffic and people with their "Jersey attitude" not to mention the 4 rounds of Lyme Disease!!
OK... back to your topic. When I was your age (I'm 51 now) I was a hairdresser and the main bread winner in my family. I worked my butt off. It was hard to make a decent living in NJ. The cost of living there is outragious (sp?). I wasn't as sick as I am today. But it was hard. I had young son and we barely got by. I was married to a guy that was a professional musician and he was also a professional alcoholic, so what ever money he made he drank. It was a hard hard time in my life.
When I moved here I changed my life... a lot!! I got into the non profit world and became a leader in that arenea. I was in an executive postion for a few years and it almost killed me. The stress brought on a flare from hell... not to mention I was not in a very good postion to take care of myself. I gave up my job about 6 mons ago. Next week, I go back into the lions mouth again and return to work, but this time as an admin. asst. Full time.. I'm hoping I can handle it.
It sounds like you're well educated!! That's great. But we don't just fall into the perfect job. Even if we don't have fibro. Shoot, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Have you ever thought about getting a career evaluation??? Sometimes your state has a program that's free!! Or perhaps you can find something online to evaluate your future.
I'm sorry your mom is pressuring you to find a "real job". If I were to try to make it alone on my income I couldn't do it. I've had a pretty diverse work history, but my body doesn't agree with allowing me to do some of the things my resume would encourage.
I wish you the best of luck and I also wanted to welcome you to the forum. There are lots of folks here that are more than willing to help you deal with your fibro issues. Be sure to check out firbo 101 .. the second thread on the forum. There's lots of great info on there to help you cope.
I work full time and cannot afford to quit (especially since my hubby just got laid off). I am on Office Manager for an engineering company. I know not all office jobs are like this, but I work off a laptop and have the flexibility to take my work home if needed. This is so nice mainly because I have two young kids, but also because of the fibro issues. I have yet to tell my boss I have fibro. I work with all men and I don't think they'll understand.
Anyway, I got this job through a temp agency 2 1/2 years ago. This may be a great way for you to try things out.
I'm sorry to hear that you have been going through such a difficult time.
I wonder if you can get on a waiting list for housing assistance? You might have to wait for some time, but it may be just what you need to get your own place and be free to focus on you. You may end up qualifying for additional services once you are there. Try not to let pride get in the way of doing what you need to take care of yourself.
It sounds like you need some space from your mother, so that you can discover just what your own strengths and limitations are, finding just the right formula for living and thriving in spite of Fibro.
If you need help finding resources, I would be happy to email with you to help you work something out. Feel free to email anytime (see my profile).
Fibromyalgia since 2007
"Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live." Robert F. Kennedy
Section 8 housing assistance goes off of your income, so yes they will consider you with no income. There may be a waiting list, but being on a waiting list is better than nothing at all.
I wonder if you can apply in a different county than the one you currently live in (and that your mother works in). It is entirely possible. I highly recommend googling section 8 housing in new jersey and calling them to ask any questions on how the process works.
Once you no longer live with your mother (in a different county), you may very well qualify for other assistance (food, insurance, etc.). Try the New Jersy department of Human Services website. A lot of times, counselors in these types of offices will help look at your situation to see what type of jobs you may be able to do. Their goal is to help you become as self-sufficient as possible. While there may be some counselors who don't seem very helpful, that is not true of all of them (I used to work for the State of Arizona & knew many people who worked for transitional assistance).
Another resource you may want to try (hear me out) is calling non-profit agencies who help homeless people get back on their feet. I am not suggesting that you become homeless - I am suggesting that you call for advice. I'm sure they encounter many people who are staying with family and who's time in that home is limited. They may have some great advice or phone numbers to resources that you or I may not know of.
I think the advice for substitute teaching is terrific. There are many states that do not require a bachelors degree, but since you have one you should be all set either way. You can say "No" on your really bad days, but still work on days when you are able to.
Once you are out of your unhealthy environment, it will be easier for you to get back on your feet. You will spin your wheels over and over if you are constantly living in a disfunctional environment. I have no doubt that, with a little help, you will be able to live on your own and support yourself. This will do amazing things for your self esteem and for your health.
I'm so sorry to hear you're getting so much negativity from your mother. Hopefully some of the ideas previous posters mentioned will help you out.
To answer your question, I work in a vet clinic part time. Generally I'm at work by 6am, and I only work for about 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. And some days even that completely wipes me out. Today I was only in for a little over two hours, was just in agony, and I came home and took a 3 1/2 hour nap. I'd be hard pressed to support myself these days, and the cost of living is lower here in the midwest. Our family lives off my husband's income, basically.