Ponder upon these questions

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vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
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   Posted 5/2/2009 7:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Okay...so I can't go work in the yard today because I'm having severe pain in my whachamacallit...you know what I mean.  The Butt cheek thingy that runs down your hip, thigh, knee, leg...begins with an 'S'.  Anyway,  I have been searching the globe for answers to these deep, meaningful questions that plague me night and day as I have nothing better to do.  Please use your fibro brain and help me solve these earth shattering mysteries.
 
What the heck does 'all the live long day' mean...as in  'I've been working on the railroad?'
 
Why in movies, don't they ever have screens on the windows..you always see the curtains blowing seductively  in the breeze and a moon in the back ground...where's the mosquitos and spiders etc?
 
Speaking of movies...how come they never answer the phone until it rings about ten times?  And furthermore...they never say good bye when they are done with the call...they just hang up? 
 
Oh...and they always order a five course meal and never eat it...just pick at it with a fork then get up and leave.  What???
 
I wanna know about those 'plugs' that cover the screws holding the toilet down.  Do any of you have them still intact?  They fall off the minute you try to wash the stupid edges of the toilet.  Oh, the humanity.  I hate it when that happens.
 
Why does the hubby leave three mini wheats in the box...I go get the milk and bowl...spoon then pick up the box which is in fact empty?  This behavior should be studied in depth by somebody with a big long name and three degrees from Harvard.
 
Why is my OCD 85 year old neighbor scrubbing her mail box with a Brillo pad?  Doesn't she know this destroys my self esteem and I am compelled to do something productive even though my fat fanny wants to stay put on my soft chair cushion?  It's a geriatric conspiracy, I tell you...It's Saturday so this is the day she sweeps the street and power washes her bird feeders.  Really..I'm not kidding.
 
I'm done.  My fibro brain is fried.  My fanny hurts.  "Live long day..."  really...what IS that all about?
 
Huggies
Donna
 
 
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


doodie
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 5/2/2009 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh my, that is hilarious!!!!! tongue tongue

Thanks for the good belly laugh!


lost in philly
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 5/2/2009 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
BUZZ!!! "The answer is: What is Sciatica?!?"

(I know you dont pronounce it this way, but I remember this cause my daughter's name is Sky and...well...at 19 she can be a pain in the butt! hahaha)
lost in philly

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.....
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 5/2/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   
LMHO!!!

Well while they're studying your husband's cereal habits, perhaps they can spend a few minutes on my hubby's peculiar habit of leaving just enough food behind to be not enough to save. You know, like, he'll leave about two tablespoons of mashed potatoes in the serving bowl. Now, couldn't you have EATEN the last two tablespoons???? Or if you're so full, then why did you take the rest of them?? I could have had the leftovers for lunch tomorrow, but NOOOOOOOOO, you had to take all but this measly little bit that is not worth the water to wash the Tupperware dish I would have dirty to save them.

Sorry. That's a pet peeve that's been festering for a while. :)
SONG (Donna)
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MT Lady
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Date Joined Jul 2008
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   Posted 5/2/2009 12:23 PM (GMT -7)   
oh please! don't get me started on husbands! I could sit here all day writing about pet peeves.

Donna, once again, you are HILARIOUS! Thanks for the chuckles!
gentle hugs
Miriam

Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.


Chutz
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 5/2/2009 1:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Doesn't everyone power wash their bird bath? I did just this spring. OMG, is that you next door Donna? Wait, I didn't brillo my mail box so we're save. I may look 85 but it's my disguise to I have an excuse to feel this rotten.

Chutzie <moan>
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
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Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 5/2/2009 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, Donna, I've been pondering your questions all the live long day.  devil   Here are my brilliant responses.  turn
 
Question #1, first of all "all the live long day" sounded better than "all the $***  %*&#  day" in the song I've Been Working On the Railroad.    smhair  
 
Questions #2, the mosquitoes and spiders are not in the  actor's union so they can't work in the movies so they don't need screens at the windows.  Simple!   yeah  
 
Question #3, the actors are so blinded by the lights that they can't find the phone until it's rung 10 times.  They are also on a time limit per scene so they just hang up and figure the other party could figure out  they were saying "good-bye".   eyes  
 
Question #4, when it comes to the five course meal, have you seen how skinny these people are?  They must clatter when they walk!  You can't be skinny like that if you eat...especially if you have to do the scene over and over again.  Besides, by that time, the food is yucky cold!   shakehead  
 
Question #5, the plugs over my toilet screws stay in place.  One is cracked but it is still in place.  Maybe you should stop kicking the toilet to get it to stop running.  Just changing the flapper works better.   idea  
 
Question#6, your beloved hubby left three mini wheats in the box because he loves his family.  There is one for you and one for each of your two dogs.  Simple!  Quit your griping and be thankful!  devil
 
Question #6, your neighbor scrubs her mailbox because it is dirty.  I personally use Clorox and water for my mailbox and it's easier than scrubbing it.  As far as sweeping the street, perhaps that poor soul was a street sweeper when she was younger.  And, Vesty, you are supposed to keep bird feeders clean so the birds don't get diseases.   smilewinkgrin  
 
So, my sweet Donna, I hope you can rest now.  You won't have to fry your brain anymore because Sherrine has come to your rescue!  Have a restful evening on your fat fanny!   devil  
 
Sherrine
 


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
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God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Post Edited (Sherrine) : 5/2/2009 3:45:38 PM (GMT-6)


vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 5/2/2009 3:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you so much for your answers.  I didn't know if I was gonna be able to sleep tonight thinking about The Rail Road Thing.  And Sherrine...you are the only person I know on the face of the planet that has those things on the toilet that aren't rolling around on the bathroom floor.  Maybe you don't pee enough. tongue

Once again my fibro family has come to my rescue, solving the most pressing and urgent mysteries of the Universe. Now I can get up and take my fat fanny to another soft place, where I can ponder why the hubby has plugged an electric screw driver into my hair dryer outlet.

Huggies

Donna

I've been cursing at my fibrooooo, all the live long day....in F minor.

 


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Dagger
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 5/2/2009 4:17 PM (GMT -7)   
And in movies, they never say "hello", they just talk for a second and hang up.

Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 5/2/2009 10:01 PM (GMT -7)   

Donna,

I used to give frosted mini wheats to my kids and tell them they were cookies!  So just think of it this way:  he left you three cookies!

Another question for you.  Why do the characters on tv have regular middle class jobs and live in million dollar houses?

Sue


vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 5/3/2009 5:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Look carefully if you are a fan of Two and a Half Men.  It's a bazillion dollar house on the Ocean in Malibu and they don't have a dishwasher.  Not good for resale...not good at all.

Huggies

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 5/3/2009 6:40 AM (GMT -7)   

UPDATE:  Obsessive 80 year old woman from across the street is cleaning her utility shed this morning.  It is 52 degrees out and she is wearing a tee shirt, shorts and rubber boots.  Her husband is on the roof of the shed, I believe, hosing off the bird poo.  It's not that I spy on these people all day long...I have a large picture window that overlooks their yard. Think I have to close my drapes.  They put me to shame.  I have a nice, thick, pricker weed growing along the side of my mail box.  I know it is driving them crazy, even though I poured vinegar on it a few days ago.  It ain't dying fast enough for them.  Okay.  I'm going to go snip it to the ground with the hedge clippers.  The street looks absolutely fab from the sweeping it got yesterday.

owie

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 5/3/2009 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   

What great entertainment!  Sure beats television!

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 5/3/2009 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   

Geez, doesn't anyone know how to use a dictionary on here??? shakehead devil

live·long [lív làwng]
adj
 long and tedious: used to emphasize how long a period of time seems to last or how tedious it feels (literary)
We worked all the livelong day. 
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
luv and hugs
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vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 5/3/2009 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   

Marlee, you smarty pants you!  I didn't know it was a hypenated word.  You girl...should be in Mensa, if you aren't already.  Now...why is it again that a person would power wash a bird feeder? Germs?  Hmmmmm. tongue

Huggies
Donna
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 5/3/2009 10:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Cause birds poo all over them and there is disease humans get from bird poo, legionaires disease, I think it is called.
 
Okay I have a question for you Donna. Why does one messed up night of sleep leave a fibromite feeling like a zombie that doesn't want to move the next day??? It's 70 degrees out and here I sit answering your silly questions on the computer instead of being out there enjoying it, hehehe. devil
 
Yes, I use to be highly intelligent til this crappy DD sucked out most of my brain cells. smhair Slurrrpppp, there went another one.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
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Baloo
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 210
   Posted 5/3/2009 10:48 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL! You all are too much fun. This is so much better than any news or comedy program.
Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto Thyroid disease, Chronic pain.
 
 All things are possible thru Christ Jesus who strengthens me


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 5/3/2009 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Well, Marlee.  The reason you feel like crap is this.  There is a enyme called barfarilious lactoiditis that waits until you go to sleep, then rushes through the patula kotex in your brain and hinders you to reach a sustained level of REM. According the famous Rhuematologist Dr. Jethro Bodine Kneeslapper, this repeated interruption in the sleep cycle keeps our fibro muscles from ever truly relaxing, nor do they 'heal' like normal non fibromites.  Since we never really sleep, just doze, we are tired.

Now, some may say this is hogwash and that fibromites are actually victims of alien abduction.  Skinny, green men with the heads the size of a hassock have injected us with a retro-virus from the planet Fibrolectus...hence the name of the disease is born.  These aliens are among us, watching us suffer with great amusement, because they are bored on their own planet and like to watch us wash the windows with oven cleaner.

I hope I have answered your question.  Now...why did I fall asleep for two hours this afternoon, am having people for dinner and Bridge in two hours and am still in my pajama bottoms?

Huggies

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


tyno3
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 5/4/2009 4:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I do so love you guys. I thought äll the live - long day, meant they'd work all day unless they died before the day was over. Silly me. As far as those plugs on the toilet, well, just don't touch them. You're obviously a clean freak. I just give them a blast of aresol, lysol or clorox, and work around them. I do know what you mean though, I was visiting a friend once and leaned a little to the left to reach the TP, lo and behold, I went head first into bath tub with my pants around my knees, too embarassed to call for help. Spent some time hanging there pondering why the mosquitoes can't get into the actor's guild, and why whenever the phone rings on the TV, I run outside rolleyes to answer it.
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