I'm feeling so bad right now (kind of off topic)

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Lefty85
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 5/4/2009 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I know this is off topic, but I feel like I just have to tell someone about it. 
 
My grandfather passed away this morning.  He was 96 years old, but still in relatively good health.  No one was expecting it to happen so soon, especially not me.  I'd been putting off going to visit him... I kept saying I was going to get around to it someday soon.  Well, now it's too late.  He lived right in the same town I live in, and it's been over a year since I'd seen him.  I feel so horrible.  Why didn't I ever just take ten or fifteen minutes to stop by and say hello.  It's not as though I was always too busy.  But no.  He died alone and miserable because me, and most of my other relatives would never bother to stop and see him.  Now we don't have the chance anymore.
 
I hate to have to face my family now.  It's easier to deal with it being away from the crying and awkward silences.  I can't even imagine seeing my dad right now.  (It was his father).  It has always bothered me to see my dad cry.  I guess because it's so rare.  I have to get ready to go to my parents' house.  I feel like I have to be there for them, even though it's so difficult.  I know it's the right thing to do. 
 
I know this hasn't really hit me yet.  I'm not looking forward to when it does.
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety
***********
Lyrica 50 mg BID, Diflusinal 500 mg BID, Nortryptiline 50 mg at bedtime, Celexa 20 mg, Flexeril 10 mg PRN, Percocet 5-325 Q4hPRN
*********** 
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."   -Robert Frost
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.
 
 
 
 
                                                                                  


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 5/4/2009 10:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty, I'm so sorry you lost your grandfather.  He lived a very long time and most likely a very full life. 
 
I'm also sorry you are feeling so guilty.  Our lives get so busy that we forget what truly is important.  But, feeling guilty won't help you one bit.  BUT, if you learned something from this experience, that would be good.  I think your grandfather has just taught you one last lesson and it is an important one.  I would be willing to bet that you will be in contact with  all your family now and won't let this scenerio play out again.  That would be the greatest legacy you could give your grandfather. 
 
So, instead of the guilt, celebrate the wonderful and long life your grandfather had.  Be supportive of your father and, as your parents and other relatives age, be there for them.  You will always remember your grandfather and the lesson he taught you.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Sherrine 
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 5/4/2009 11:36 AM (GMT -7)   

Lefty...I am so sorry about your grandfather.  You have given me something to think about, however.  I am 63 years old and still have a grandfather who is 106 years old and living by himself...still farming.  I haven't seen him in years, as he lives in Oklahoma and I live in NY.  I am fortunate to still have a grandfather.  Both of my parents have died.  I think I will call him right now.

We can't change the past or control the future.  All we really have is this very moment.  In this moment, comfort your family the best you can and savor the memories.

peace

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 5/4/2009 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty,
I am sorry about the loss of your grandfather. Sherrine has some good advice for you. Take this opportunity to renew the connections with other friends and family. It might be comforting to talk to your grandfather's spirit and tell him you love him. Who knows, maybe he can hear you. In any case, your grandfather would not want you to feel guilty and miserable. So celebrate his life and remember the good times you had.
Gentle hugs,
Sue

Shash13
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 179
   Posted 5/4/2009 10:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Lefty - So very sorry to hear about your loss... Thank you for sharing, though, and please try to let go of your guilt. You have touched many of us with your words and made us realize that we, too, needed to be more attentive to special people in our lives. Your grandfather, in my heart anyway, is touching you and telling you not to feel guilty and not to grieve for him too long... that he loves you and knows that you loved him. You will always have memories of him - hang on to the good ones....... any other ones are not important
and deserve to be let go... The old cliche is true - time will help and heal. Thinking about you and caring...
Shash
Dx: FMS,OA,depression,anxiety,DDD with 7 herniations so far,HTN,IBS,cardiac 
      stent,failing aortic valve,angina,migraines with aura,many surgeries,+misc.
Rx: Nifedipine,Atenolol,Enalapril,Simvastatin,Levothyroxine,Cymbalta,Bupropion,
      Dicyclomine,Lorazepam,Darvocet,Percocet,albuteral inhaler,nitroglycerin,+
Newbie to forum and novice with computer - patience, please!
 
 


Baloo
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 210
   Posted 5/5/2009 6:21 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry for your loss. It is hard, but Sherrine does have wonderful advice. Your in my thoughts.
Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto Thyroid disease, Chronic pain.
 
 All things are possible thru Christ Jesus who strengthens me


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 5/5/2009 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty I'm sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Life is a never ending learning experience and you have learned from this. I know when I was young and totally involved in raising my own family I didn't take the time for older relatives that I wish I had of now. Don't beat yourself up over this, take what you have learned and be there for your dad and other relatives.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


GamJill
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 5/5/2009 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Lefty-

Everyone has said it well, and I am sorry about the loss of your grandfather. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jill


 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  


Lefty85
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 5/5/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, everyone, for your kind and supportive words. I really appreciate it right now. You have started me on the long process of coming to peace with this. I am thankful to have so many wonderful and caring friends on here.

Take care,
SaraBeth
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety
***********
Lyrica 50 mg BID, Diflusinal 500 mg BID, Nortryptiline 50 mg at bedtime, Celexa 20 mg, Flexeril 10 mg PRN, Percocet 5-325 Q4hPRN
*********** 
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."   -Robert Frost
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.
 
 
 
 
                                                                                  


.....
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 5/5/2009 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
{{{hugs}}} for my fibromite friend
SONG (Donna)
Fibromyalgia, Gastroparesis, IBS, Vertigo
Endometriosis, Hypothyroidism, Psoriasis, Asthma, Cholecystectomy
(Diabetic spouse)
 

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