Lost in Philly, that is wonderful! Your story gave me goosebumps!
Oh songbird- I know this is going to be a hard Mothers Day for you and I understand.
The "first's", I call it are all the special occasions and holidays after a parent passes away the first year. And they are tough. I remember I just went through the motions on those occasions and did not enjoy them at all. It is normal and you are grieving. My mom has been gone for 15 yrs. and my heart can still go "thud" if I glance at a Mother's Day card when shopping for cards this time of year. I have my sister and my DIL I buy something little for and get a card and that helps.
Am thinking about you and my heart goes out to you-