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Lefty85
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 5/10/2009 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
My pain has been getting worse and worse almost daily lately.  It's constant, and never changes whether I'm sitting, standing, lying down, walking.  Nothing changes it.  I have tried every OTC pain medication available, I've tried every herbal supplement I've heard is supposed to help, along with every vitamin.  I use heat about a dozen times on any given day, stretch about 10 times, try to go walking for as long as I can, either use a handheld massager or get someone to give me a massage, go to the chiropractor... and nothing helps at all. 
When I tell my rheumotologist that I'm in pain all she does is throw more pills at me or make me take a higher dosage.  I always ask to get in and actually see her, but she never has any openings.
My family doctor prescribes me percocet, but it's never enough to last me a whole month, so I always run out and am not able to get any more, even though I take it as prescribed.  As soon as I go about 24 hours without any the joints and muscles all throughout my body lock up so tightly I can hardly move.  Last time this happened I ended up at the ER where I was treated like a drug addict.  I just can't help it.  I have tried everything else that I know to try, and it is the only thing that helps (a little). 
The worst part is, I'm about to lose my job, because neither of my doctor's will sign a form confirming my condition-- even though they both agree that I have fibro!  Plus, the form was due last week and with my grandfather's death I never got a chance to go back to the doctor and try to beg one last time.  I'm as good as fired and if I miss one more day, my job is over.  It's horrible because tonight I start third shift (midnight to eight am), and I always feel worst on that shift (I have to rotate every four weeks).  I don't know how I can work when I can't even use my right arm. 
I haven't been sleeping at all.  It doesn't matter what I take, nothing helps.  I wake up at least once an hour, covered in sweat, and constantly have horrible nightmares all night long.  I'm so stressed out from losing my grandfather, dealing with my parents who are convinced I'm lying about my health, and from fear of losing my job, which will also mean losing a place to live and a car to drive.  It's a viscious cycle I can't escape.  I'm not going to feel better until I'm not stressed out, and I'm not going to stop feeling stressed out until I feel better. 
I don't know where to turn or what to do.  Everyone else I know who has chronic pain says just deal with it.  I can't deal with this.  I can't bear the thought that this is going to be my life every single day.  I feel like the pain is making me lose my mind.  I cry all the time, and my thoughts just keep becoming more and more jumbled and unclear.  Where do I turn when none of my doctors will help me, none of my family will believe me, I've lost all of my friends, I'm in medical debt up to my eyeballs, going to lose my job, and can barely, barely even function?  I just don't understand how to deal with this or where I should turn.
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety
***********
Lyrica 50 mg BID, Diflusinal 500 mg BID, Nortryptiline 50 mg at bedtime, Celexa 20 mg, Flexeril 10 mg PRN, Percocet 5-325 Q4hPRN
*********** 
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."   -Robert Frost
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.
 
 
 
 
                                                                                  


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 5/10/2009 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't want to sound unkind but this is life with fibro. I've been where you are with NO MEDICATION and three children. Hate to sound harsh but honey, you have to buck up and keep going. Fibro hurts, but it doesn't kill you. Pain is a part of your life so you need to start dealing with it. Take a shower before bed, eat some carbs to raise your serotonin levels, put on a sleep mask, put in your ear plugs and go to sleep.

You can't go into a funk. You have to keep going. You are young and strong and you CAN do this. Set your mind to it and push yourself. Ignore as much of the pain as you can. Either that or work through it. Otherwise your life is going to turn into one big pity party and nobody will want to join you. The pain is real but you can't let it rule your life. You're on some pretty heavy duty meds and if you want enough drugs to take the pain AWAY, you won't be able to function at your job. Hang in there and keep on keepin' on.
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


Sera Smiles
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 5/10/2009 9:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Lefty! I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. It sounds to me that you are really overwhelmed about your present and your future and the unknown of how everything can change. I would like to encourage you to look into employee benefits at work, to see if you can visit with a therapist to get some assistance with all the directions your life is taking. I believe you need a little help now to clear out all the chaos and set some priorities, and set some things aside for now. I hope you find that each day gets a little easier and you can breathe better and not feel so alone. Please keep us posted on how you are doing!
"A butterfly is most vulnerable immediately after its metamorphosis."
 
Dx FM- 2003
Rx Meds- Ultram, Flexeril, Toprol, Cymbalta, Buspar, Ambien 
OTC meds [PRN]- Benadryl, Claritin, Melatonin, Valerian, B Complex, Vitamin D, Omega 3, Multi Vitamin
 
 


CINDY30
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 5/10/2009 10:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Lefty, I can sympathize with you 100%. I want to offer a suggestion based on my own experience and beliefs. I stopped taking pain meds a year ago and I found that after getting past the initial withdrawals, I felt better. My boss even commented on my change in attitude and work ethic (she didn't know it was because I had been drugged up daily the months prior). I still have lots of pain but the drugs were causing an abundance of other symptoms that made it impossible to deal with life (I was a zombie...didn't care if I lived or died). My pain now is also different. Instead of being completely incapable of moving my arm or turning my neck, it's more an allover muscle fatigue with occasional flares that are worse. Don't get me wrong, it still sucks but I am learning to rely less on relieving the pain and more on finding out what triggers it. Doctors like to throw the pain meds at us just to shut us up because frankly they're more clueless than we are about the disease. I went to the hospital with a terrible migraine december 2007 and the triage nurse was shocked that I was taking MS Contin. She wanted to know who prescribed it. I didn't know enough then to realize that the doctors didn't have the answers. I was driving to work daily after taking a pain pill and following the dosage instructions on the bottle. I was so overwhelmed with life that I had consistent thoughts of getting in my car and driving someplace where I could just sleep for days with little concern over what my kids were going through. This is not safe for anyone and we should not accept it as a treatment for our fibro in my opinion. My GP did insist that I get a script for hydracodone in case of emergencies (I've taken about 4 in the past 3 months) and that is how I've had to use it otherwise I will begin to depend on it again and that is no way to live life. Sorry to be so long-winded but I really do feel strongly about this. I hope I was able to provide some insight and maybe a little hope. Just writing this was therapeutic for me because it reminded me that things are bad now but they were much worse. Don't let the fibro win. It will get better!

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 5/11/2009 4:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Lefty: I totally agree with Sara Smiles. I was right where you are about a year ago. I was at the point of giving up. I made it into a psychiatric emergency; got to see a pdoc within a week, and wih his guideance, things have begun to improve. The business with the pain meds, well, that too, I totally relate to. I get almost enough to get through. Mine are Tylenol 3's, hence the handle, and i don't know where they stack up compared to percocet. They have 30 mgs. of codeine, each. It takes the edge off the pain so I can do more than just lie in bed and moan. We know, full well, that stress is the enemy. Right now you are under considerable stress. So, get some counselling. Get some medicine to relieve the stress, for now, so you can get some sleep. Keep at he docs to sign your paperwork, and once you see a pdoc, perhaps he'll sign for you. Mine brought it up day 1. He signed to get me medical leave. It was so obvious that I couldn't work, I couldn't tie my shoelaces. I couldn't summon up the strength to shower. To much bending to get dressed. There is a theory about the pain relievers causing more pain. Apparently, what happens is your brain stops producig natural endorphins, this is a safety switch to avoid opoid overdose. That leaves you totallydependent on the outside meds to feel (almost) OK. Then when you run out, as we all do, from time to time, the pain is 100x's worse b/c our brain isn't replacingthe missed endorphins. Also, you are likely depressed. This can cause body pain. So, grab yourself by your bootstraps, get in to see a shrink, lay your cards out on the table and ask, "what now, doc". I had to exaggerate a bit about what was going on with me after waiting 18 months to see the pdoc. Made up a little half truth concerning a string tied to my big toe. It got me in. Otherwise, I don't know if I would be able to sit here and spew advice. My heat goes out to you. Be careful, you're very fragile right now. Treat yourslf as you would treat your best friend. 

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


Lefty85
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 5/11/2009 5:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all. I finally got a little bit of decent sleep last night, which seems to have helped a little bit. At least I can think more clearly today... yesterday everything was just jumbled together. As soon as my doctor's office opens today I am calling for an appointment. Even though my dad and I have been fighting, he wants to go along (he works where I do, so maybe that will help to get my papers signed-- at least to help out for the days I've missed in the past). I also want to see about eliminating some of the pills I am taking. I don't think I'm benefiting at all from nortriptyline, difflunisal, or flexiril... and I'm not exactly sure what to think about lyrica yet. My rheumotologist just keeps throwing medications at me instead of actually seeing me for an appointment. She never even explained anything about fibromyalgia to me when she diagnosed me... not that I don't know, but honestly, I think she should have at least said something. So, I'm hoping my family doctor might point me in a different direction. My boyfriend keeps suggesting that I see a neurologist, although I'm not sure that would be helpful (he has MS so he sees a neurologist frequently). I also want to see about something besides percocet. I've already tried tramadol, but it was really hit or miss with me-- most of the time it wouldn't work at all, and occasionally it would help some. But then I found myself starting to take it more frequently in hopes of better relief, and I knew that wasn't good, so I stopped taking it, hence ending up back on the percocet, which really isn't a much better alternative. I started trying tylenol rapid release the other day instead, but I couldn't tell any difference when I took it, so I stopped. Liver problems run in my family, so that's another reason I'd really like to cut back on the meds. Anyway, I think right now the biggest thing I need to work on is trying to cut down on the stress and anxiety, and get sleeping better, and hopefully that will get me headed in the right direction. Once again, thank you all... and sorry for complaining so much. It's just been a terribly frustrating and stressful week.

Take care!

SaraBeth
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety
***********
Lyrica 50 mg BID, Diflusinal 500 mg BID, Nortryptiline 50 mg at bedtime, Celexa 20 mg, Flexeril 10 mg PRN, Percocet 5-325 Q4hPRN
*********** 
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."   -Robert Frost
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.
 
 
 
 
                                                                                  


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 5/11/2009 5:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty I'm sorry your going through so much but I think you hit the nail on the head when you said stress causes pain and pain causes stress. If I get stressed I can just feel the pain engulf my body, the muscles automatically tighten up and that causes pain. I'm not in your position of being self supporting but I can imagine how frightening that would be.
 
You really need to get the paper work signed and I would think your employer would understand about your grandfather dying which kept you from getting it signed. It does sound like you need a break from work to kinda regroup and get yourself together.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 5/11/2009 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty,

You've gotten some great advice here, but I did want to let you know I am sorry you are feeling so awful. I understand just what you mean about the stress/pain cycle. It can be a hard one to break, for sure.

I hope you get your paperwork signed and that you get to feeling better soon.

{{{{gentle hugs}}}}
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


Jokat
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 278
   Posted 5/11/2009 7:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Jeannie said...
(Hate to sound harsh but honey, you have to buck up and keep going. Fibro hurts, but it doesn't kill you. Pain is a part of your life so you need to start dealing with it. Take a shower before bed, eat some carbs to raise your serotonin levels, put on a sleep mask, put in your ear plugs and go to sleep.

You can't go into a funk. You have to keep going. You are young and strong and you CAN do this. Set your mind to it and push yourself. Ignore as much of the pain as you can. Either that or work through it. Otherwise your life is going to turn into one big pity party and nobody will want to join you. The pain is real but you can't let it rule your life. You're on some pretty heavy duty meds and if you want enough drugs to take the pain AWAY, you won't be able to function at your job. Hang in there and keep on keepin' on.)
Jeannie!!!! Welcome to the fraternity of tough love!! Great straight forward advice. I absolutely LOVE it!!!!
 
It is not the burden that wear you down, it is how you carry it!! :)
JoKat
 
Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us. {Earl Nightingale} 
Fibro since 2005


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17096
   Posted 5/11/2009 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty, also try taking one day at a time.  Don't project yourself in the future because we don't know what that holds for us.  Maybe a cure???  That sure would be nice.  But, you already know you can manage one day.  Try looking forward to each new day with anticipation instead of dread.  That dread causes stress which causes pain...that's what Marlee and others have said. 
 
I also agree with Jeannie.  Fibro is a part of your life so you will learn how to work around the pain.  I have and so has Jeannie.  She, by the way, does the most gorgeous wedding cakes you have ever seen.  I have no idea how she can stand over them for hours, let alone squeeze a pasty bag!  Go into her profile and there is a link to her web site.  See for yourself!  So, she has been there and has overcome and  you will too!
 
Lastly, I see you made it through your first midnight to eight shift!  You did it!  How did it go?  I hope better than expected.
 
Sherirne
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 5/11/2009 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there Lefty. Now you know where bottom's at, it can only go up from here.

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 5/12/2009 4:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Lefty, I always feel worse when I focus on the pain. It is difficult, but try to ignore it and do something you enjoy. You are right - focusing on the pain causes stress and anxiety which in turn make the pain worse. One thing that works for me is guided imagery or relaxation meditation. I have this really nice cd where I imagine walking through the woods and to a mountain lake. I learned in fibro class that slowing down your breathing lowers all the other reactions of the sympathetic nervous system and can decrease pain. I know for sure that this works. One good way to do it in addition to the guided imagery is to focus on your breath. Breathe in, breathe out. count one for breath in and two for breath out and three for breath in until you reach 10. Once you reach 10 (or if you lose your place) start over. You can slow down your breath and try to count 5 seconds for a breath in and 5 seconds for a breath out. That will give you 6 breaths a minute. Slow it down even further if you can. This will cause your parasympathetic nervous system to kick in (opposite from sympathetic) - think s for sympathetic and stress - p for parasympathetic and peace.
Hope you feel better.
Sue

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 5/13/2009 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Where do I sign up? I love you Stargeek. So, bang, on, man, radical. Like having a baby, man, just breatheeeee. I swear we Fibromites run around in a state of hyperventilation, holding our breath, shoulders up around the ears, all muscles ready to take off, fly right up to the spacestaion and fix that thing right there, right now! (Started watching CNN again last night, my kids made me swear off it for a couple years). Gotta solve all those world problems, like right now. Got no time to breathe. To much to do.

Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 5/13/2009 9:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue,
You've really hit the nail on the head with the breathing. For some reason fibromites are shallow breathers. Couple this with our incomplete glucose+oxygen-ATP-energy problem going on in the mitochondria of the cells... incomplete oxygenation leads to pain and fatigue. Deep breathing can lower blood pressure, increase oxygen levels, lower pain and actually make us feel better. I have to remind myself several times a day to B-R-E-A-TH-E!
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 5/14/2009 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Jeanie: Could you elaborate on the Oxygen-Glucose-ATP (what's ATP?), Pain continuum. I haven't heard it before. Also, I have been restricting food. Solid food is very hard for me to deal with, swallowing problem, and I have been living on Ensure (high Protein), Milk, and gummie bears. I don't know what's going on with the craving for gummy bears. It used to be chocolate, at least I've cut the fat, but why am I craving pure sugar so much. I take amytriptilene at bedtime, not nearly the dose I was taking, 125 mgs. at bedtime. Now more like 35, along with a couple of OTC muscle relaxers and a sedative. Sleep is elusive at best. My landlord has gone on the attack. I have only been here two weeks (less, actually), and already I've had three interruptions from his forewoman who unfortunately live next door and pops over to complain about well, everything. When I tell her I don't feel well enough to move my vehicle, or pull my dandilions, she get her abusive boss on the phone yelling at me. I cannot take one bit more stress. I am on the brink of calling my shrink and asking to be hospitalized. My son is also at the breaking point and I am afraid he will react in a violent manner. We desire only quiet enjoyment of the premises, not constant demands to reallocate our belongings once again after being denied full access to the unit for ten days as the landlord failed to get previous tenant to get her stuff out, or move it himself, so just after a disasterous move, we were invaded ten days into our lease, by previous tenant who threww my belongings, including fine china hither and thou, to get her stuff from underneath. Not one bit more stress, I am about to collapse. I don't mean to complain but I really don't think I can take another assault on my system. I intend to file a formal complaint with Residential Tenancies today. This man was screaming at me on my cell phone at 9 PM last evening. I said "I have to go" and hung up. He immediately called back and began using foul language with my son who took the second call, b/c I simply couldn't absorb anymore. Will it ever stop? Help. Also had a root canal yesterday and had hugh fight with stepmother b/c she used my vehicle (driven by my son) to attend a doctor's appointment, and despite a prior agreement to return my vehicle with gas in it, as it had 1/3 tank when it left here, she returned it empty. I don't have funds to do this anymore. The same trip by ambulance woul have cost her 1000.00, and we were helping out by doing it only for the price of the gas to transport her. She also soiled my passanger seat, despite my son repeatedly asking her if she needed a washroom, he would have assisted her, instead she overflowed her diaper. What do I do? Then she called a neighbor complaning I had taken advantage of her. he called me all upset, as she had upset his wife by crying, begging for money and complaing about me. Is the world losing it's collective mind?
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