Oh Sharon, please learn to stop beating yourself up.... One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that you can't see everything and you can't save everyone, even your children.... You can only do the best you can at the time you need to do it..... Remember, hindsight is always 20/20..... And, guilt is unproductive and can literally eat you alive.... I have to remind myself about these same things often, but I'm finally actually understanding and believing.
You're not alone. There are lots of us out here that care about you, and yes, you do deserve that love and support.... My arms are around you giving you very gentle (((hugs))).... Really.... And I'm sure that there are many more as well. You are not crying by yourself, either.... Please know that there are lots of loving thoughts coming your way.
Please post again soon and let us know how you are doing. You can get through this and so can your daughter when she is ready. She has to do it for herself -- you can't do it for her -- you must take care of yourself first anyway or you can't help anyone.
Dx: FMS,OA,depression,anxiety,DDD with 7 herniations so far,HTN,IBS,cardiac
stent,failing aortic valve,angina,migraines with aura,many surgeries,+misc.
( novice with computer - patience, please!)