Post Edited (SallyNC) : 6/7/2009 8:53:33 AM (GMT-6)
HI, Sally, and welcome! I'm so glad you found us and joined in! My husband wasn't a talker either. I think I became a pretty good mind reader over the years. He couldn't handle my talking about pain, either. I know he loved me but men can be sooo different than women in how they think and how they react. So, I talked with a friend that did understand a little.
Over the years I found this site. Now, we DO understand what you are talking about and we do give each other a lot of support. You have come to a great place. We have wonderful people that love to help one another and we really do care about each other, too. I know you will like it here.
Be sure to check out the Fibro 101 thread...the second thread on the forum. There are links to good information about fibromyalgia. Some of it might come in handy to try to let your husband know what you are dealing with. Use your judgement on that one. I know my husband was always busy and not sure if he would have read things. But, he did help me around the house and with the dinner dishes. So, I'm not complaining about him.
I'm so glad you are here. Read back posts and ask questions. We are here to help you. I hope to hear more from you soon!
Well...science states that most men are left brained (logic) and women are basically right brained (emotion). Maybe that's why fibro is typically a female disorder. I just figure because there is nothing logical about Fibro and it really isn't something you can see (except for the insane yet commical results of The Fog and all the heating pads, bed buddies and pill bottles scattered around) Hubby's don't 'get it'. Now Leprosy...they could SEE that. "here's you Leprosy cream, dear...anything else I can do for you today?"
I slammed my finger in steel door yesterday. It is swollen to the size of an Italian sausage and completely black and blue. Last night Hubby says..."Do you think it looks that bad because of your Fibro?" UM, no. I slammed it in a steel door. But the poor man is baffled by this disorder. Maybe he was hinting that I slammed it in the door because I'm a fibro air head.
Sorry Sally, that you are feeling sad. We all understand and care here.
It seems to be linked in some men's minds, to female hysteria, like the "monthlies", and having a baby. When I had my second, thirteen hours of labour, 2 weeks overdue, my husband started drinking brandy when the contractions started and by the time we got to the delivery room, he'd tried to sober up by drinking black coffee from a vending machine, got sick, insisted on the cot being brought in, laid down and all the doctor's and nurses were fussing over him. Not having male friends and intimates understand Fibro doesn't hurt as much, for me anyway, as having female friends and colleagues either ignor you when you bring it up, or just get that blank stare. Right. O.K. so if you ignore me I might stop bringing it up. Kinda like talking about incontinence, nobody wants to know.
That, is hard.