How do you ever get passed it? Or...do you ever?

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SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/14/2009 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone. I am having a really hard time dealing right now. I know I have been diagnosed for almost a year now, but the pain has been a lot worse lately. I just feel so depressed. Will I ever learn how to deal with living with this illness? Or will I just keep going from being fairly ok with it to suddenly having a breakdown over and over and over again? I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with this. I have never been the best with pain, and living with it every single day is just robbing me of happiness. I know I will have this for the rest of my life. So, how do I deal with it? How do I get through each and every day?
I have a child. I have a wonderful son who is my miracle. All I want is to be a good mother to him. How can I do that if I have to lie around on the couch or in bed a lot? I just want my life back!!
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/14/2009 10:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I know the feeling of wanting your life back.

donnaeil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 6/14/2009 11:34 PM (GMT -7)   
In a way I feel better after several years of living with fibro and cfids. I do not think it is because the pain has lessened, it is because I now know what to do during the bad times. I am not really the flaring type, my pain is constant. However, a chronic fatigue flare will knock me down.

I use a wheelchair outside of my home and often inside, like when I am cooking or at the computer. I do it because walking exhausts me. However I work out in the pool most days of the week. I take medications that help because I cannot go it alone.

when I first joined an in person support group they told me things would get better. they do. Initially you realize there are things you are unable to do that you did before. Eventually, you begin to celebrate those things that are possible for you to accomplish.

I took a lot of naps when my children were young. I, who hates putting kids in front of the TV, slept during Sesame Street because I had to. Fortunately I was an at home mom and, was not aware of my diagnosis. I felt like everyone else my age had so much energy while I did not. Many people accused me of being lazy. Oh well.

You do the best you can Sweetie, things will get better. It just takes a lot of work to find out how you are going to get the best out of your life. Enjoy your precious child.

Donnaeil

MEG25801
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 6/15/2009 4:09 AM (GMT -7)   
I know exactly how you feel.  I'll be fine for a while and then I will do something that I USED to be able to do no problem and I find that I cannot do it.  I get so angry and start to cry.  Like yesterday, I was going to clean my car.  There is water getting into the trunk and there is a really funky smell.  So I am scrubbing away at the seats because they were dirty as well and I just get to a point that I cannot scrub any more.  I feel like my arms are going to fall off.  I got so mad.  My hubby said not to worry about it that he would do it...but that's not the point.  The point is is that I WANT TO DO IT.  Don't get me worng, he is wonderful but like you said, I want my life back!!!  I got in the pool after all that yesterday just to try to relax and calm down.  I feel like I have been run over by a mack truck this morning.  My left leg is hurting, my arms and neck are definitely hurting.  And I have to go to work and stand on my feel for 10 hours.  This is my long week so I have to work 6 days appox 55 hours.  I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to do that either.  I HAVE to try to hold out for at least another year until my car is paid off.  I have been putting applications in for positions that wouldnt require me to be on my feel all day and to be happy all the time devil    Hopefully something else will come through.
 
Sorry I started ranting...but I just get so angry!!!
 
Missy
Diagnosed with Panic Disorder(16 yrs ago)-GERD(12 years ago)-GAD(16 yrs ago)-IBS(12 years ago)-DDD(6 years ago)-Arthritis(since teenager)-Controled HBP(2 years ago)-Diagnosed with fibromyalgia 9-29-08.
Meds: Cardizem CD~Prilosec~Klonopin(prn)~Daily Vitamin~Tylenol~Lyrica


myjoy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:43 AM (GMT -7)   
The first year and a half after getting my DX of fibro, I was just like you. I would start to cry at the thought of having this for the rest of my life. It gave me a panic type feeling. Eventually you sort of get "used" to having it. Not "used" to the pain, but "used" to having fibro. You learn what works for you, how much rest you need, and how much you can do etc... It may help just to know there are others out there, like us, who are making it. Some days I don't make it very well, but I'm still making it. You will too.

Part of it is a grieving process. We grieve what we had...what others have. That will start to pass for you. But it takes time....and give yourself that time. Don't be hard on yourself. Let yourself have this disorder, and take care of yourself as needed.

Keep coming back here for support. We care about you, because we know how you feel. Out in the regular world, people often don't understand. That can be a difficult part of this also. Just know we are here. And know you are a good mom. You love your child...he will know that.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, osteoarthritis, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.

fluoxetine (prozac), buspar, abilify, trazodone, lorazapam, nexium, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine, estrodial patch.


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Like a Phoenix, rising from the flames you just have to keep getting back up when life and this disease knocks you down. Each and everytime, I rest, then I rise up, grab my bootstraps, and keep on trucking on.
I get through the day, knowing I can get comfort at the end of it. As far as children go, they are resilient. They can snuggle with you. They can play next to you with toys and puzzles, and coloring books, all they want is your attention, so they can get it next to you, lying on the coach. "Big Bird gets Lost" was a great movie, my kids watched it alot when they were small. It is at least two hours long and I would put it in the DVD or casette player, and they would watch. That was a signal for "quiet time", while I rest. I take my meds and do what has to be done. My promise, at the end of everyday, is that I can go to bed, hopefully, go to sleep, and that is my solace. I have the magic bag, my heating pads, one hugh on, one small one. Also my magic bag. I must admit, I feel much better since taking up walking a couple miles a day. Also, gummi Bears, I know, I know, they have sugar, but a dozen or so won't kill me, and they are my reward for surviving the day. I hope you feel better soon. i hope you get a sedentary job, but not too sedentary or you'll seize up, but ten hours on one's feet, no can do.
 

SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 6/15/2009 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Awwww {{{{Sassy}}}}..I know just how you feel. I still struggle sometimes with this DD. I've been diagnosed for 3 years now and still have days when I have a hard time accepting it. It has gotten easier, but still isn't ideal that's for sure. The sad thing is that I am still working on how to balance things. How do I get everything done that needs to be done while still taking care of myself? It's a very very fine line and I don't have it all figured out yet, but I am getting better. I am learning more how to pace myself and that helps a lot. For instance, I've learned that when it comes to cleaning my house, what works best for me is to do 15 minutes, then rest for 15 minutes, then continue on, etc. Trying to do it all at one time just wears me out. Also, when I go shopping, I've learned that I have to make choices. Like the other day, we had to go to Big Lots and Wal-Mart and my daughter also needed to go to the mall to get some shoes. I knew that there was no way I could do the mall AND Wal-mart, so I had my hubby take our daughter into the mall for the shoes..It's a spoon thing, you know? It's not easy at all, but you have to learn how to spread your spoons out over the course of a day.

When it comes to kids, I definitely agree that sometimes you have to just put on a video or show and rest. I do that a lot! My boys know that sometimes all mommy can do is rest, so we like to pick out family friendly movies to all watch together. If I doze a bit while the movie is on, I figure that's ok. They will let me know when they need something! Also, we play a lot of board games and card games together. That way we can spend good quality time together without me getting worn out. Also, my boys love to play outside with the kids across the street, and this year we finally had a moment of brilliant thought and put our patio furniture on the front deck instead of the back patio. That way I can sit outside under the protection of the umbrella and still keep an eye on my kids while they play.

I know how hard all of this is..especially when you're young and have young children..but little by little you will start to get your own "groove", so to speak, and be more aware of what you can and can not do. As for your little boy, I know you are a wonderful, loving mother to him in every way you can be with this dd, so please rest easy and know that he will grow up feeling loved and that is the most important thing.

And always know you can come here for support! We love and care for you and will help you in any way we can.

I do hope you start feeling a bit better soon and I will be praying for you, too. {{{{more gentle hugs}}}}
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/15/2009 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
I just want you all to know how much I love you guys. You are like a family to me. I really appreciate all your support. It is always nice to know that I am not alone. It's nice to know that there are other people out there who are dealing with the same thing that I am. Sometimes, that is one thing that I really need. It really is hard, but I am trying to get my balance. It's just so hard. There are so many things that I used to be able to do that I can't do now. I really just want my life back. But, since I won't be getting it back, I guess I need to figure out how to live this new life. It's going to be one rough journey, and you may see plenty of posts from me ranting and raving and crying. I know you guys won't mind. Thank you all so much for being here for me. I don't know what I would do without my fibro family.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 6/15/2009 6:53 AM (GMT -7)   
We all want our pre fibro lives back. After holding my great grandson yesterday my hands, arms and shoulders hurt so bad today, he is about 14lbs already and I know as he gets bigger it is going to be harder for me to hold him. There are two ways I can look at this, I can resent my life with fibro or I can be thankful I'm here to watch him grow and be able to see his beautiful smile and hear him trying to talk already, I choose the later.
 
I know it's hard Sassy and I'm sure it is even harder when your young to have this, I didn't get it til around 50. I think it has been about 6 yrs since I was dxd and believe me it took a lot of time to accept it. I still get frustrated that I don't have the energy to do enough in a day or having my family here for a day wipes me out. But the one thing we do have control over is the way we think and everyday we can choose to be happy with fibro or we can choose to be angry with fibro, either way we are still going to have fibro at the end of the day.
 
Your baby isn't going to spend his life in therapy cause you set him in front of the TV with educational movies while you rest during the day. He is a boy with a daddy so let daddy do the outside park things and mommy do the quiet less energetic things.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 6/15/2009 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Sassy, you have gotten some really good advice here.  I don't think you ever "get used" to fibro.  I work around the fibro to do the things I want to do but it still isn't easy.  A few weeks ago I dug out a shrub.  Before fibro, that would have been easy.  I thought this would be a cinch, too since we have really sandy soil here.  But, it took me 1 1/2 hours to get that stupid shrub out of the ground!  I was in tears because I remembered how easy it used to be for me. 

I've had fibro for 22 years so sometimes those feelings do come back.  But, you can't let them eat you alive, either.  You have to look at all the things you CAN do!  You will learn how to pace yourself to accomplish the things that are necessary.  The other stuff can be pushed aside or your family can help out.  Be sure to give yourself pats on the back for the things you accomplish because you should be proud of it.  Life isn't easy with fibromyalgia but it still can have  joy and sense of accomplishment.  So try hard not to be so hard on  yourself. 

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 6/15/2009 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Sassy, thanks for posting this question.  Everyone has some good answers.  I am touched by what people are saying because I am feeling the exact same things. 

I dug up a giant lily and divided it into 15 plants and replanted them on Saturday.  That was the only thing I could do all day.  Before, I could do that, plant a bunch of other plants, fertilize, mow, weed, sweep, etc.   I did force myself to sort and start the laundry on Saturday afternoon.  I had to because I babysat my daughter's puppy and there were a lot of smelly rags from cleaning up dog pee and because we were out of clothes.  

That night I cried because I couldn't do what I used to do.   Normally I can celebrate and be glad that I could do some stuff. But other days I feel the loss.

Sue


Stari
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 6/15/2009 12:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I know one thing from experience.
Going outside at night and yelling
"I want my life back"
does not work or change a thing.
But hey sure does feel better after I do it.

SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 6/15/2009 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Stari said...
I know one thing from experience.
Going outside at night and yelling
"I want my life back"
does not work or change a thing.
But hey sure does feel better after I do it.


I love this!!! It's like a poem. I was going to say Haiku, but it's too long...it reads very poetically, though. :-)
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all again, so much. You guys really help me get through the rough times. Today was a better day. I made myself relax as much as I could. The only big thing I did today was get some groceries. I have been working on my crocheting (sp?), and it is coming along ok. It sure does hurt my fingers after a while, but it is kind of relaxing to just focus on doing that one thing and forgetting about everything else.
It's looking like my husband may also have fibro. We were discussing how he has been feeling lately, and he did this little checklist thing in a fibro booklet that my grandma gave me, and he checked all but two of them. I don't know how he pushes through his pain the way that he does. It always amazes me.
I have never been good with pain. As I got older, I got more of a tolerance to it, but, now, I am in pain everyday. It's one thing to get hurt and hurt for a little while, and it is a completely different matter to hurt every hour of every day. I guess the thing I need to remember is that even though I may not have my old life, I can still make a new life with this illness. I can still do some things, just not everything that I used to be able to do.
You guys are just so wonderful. You are all so encouraging, and, even if you can't offer advice, you understand me. You understand what I am going through. I really don't know what I would do without you guys. So, I just want to thank you all sooo much for being here for me. You don't know the extent of the impact you all have had upon my life. *soft hugs to all*
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
When I was a kid, my brother and I watched a lot of eductional documentaries ... the only down side is that we both got really geeky-smart.

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:52 PM (GMT -7)   
There's nothing wrong with being smart. Even geeky smart. LOL. My son is addicted to Wall-E. LOL. I have him watch Baby Einstein movies, but he really loves Disney and Pixar movies. It keeps him entertained, and he has been talking more. He says Wall-E now. LOL. He is soo much fun. Sorry, I went off-topic. I love my son, so sometimes, I just can't help it.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


skylark61
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/16/2009 6:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, Lord knows we all can sympathize with you.  I'm also having a horrible day with the pain.  Thank God I don't work a public job now... but life isn't easy for us with Fibro.  I am a type A personality and use to having everything done right now.  I am learning... not to sweat the small stuff and to do only what you feel capable of doing each day.  Some days I feel so bad I just can't hardly do anything... and I don't.  But I do try and do my stretching excerises at least 3 days a week if possible.  Hang in there!  You are in my prayers. :-)
Hugs to Everyone!
~Dianna~
 
Fybromyalgia, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorder, IBS, Migraine Headaches, Mitral Valve Regurgitation, Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Scoliosis, Herniated Disc, Osteophytes
 
Nexium, Nabumetone, Imitrex,  Ambien, Lipitor, Flexeril


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 6/16/2009 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
I can't sympathize with any of you because I've had symptoms of fibro all of my life. In a way I envy you all... reading about your pain-free earlier life. I've never known life without pain and thought that it was just the way life was. I was taught by the nuns as a child and learned early on to "offer up my pain" for the poor souls in purgatory so that's what I did.

Perhaps my way is easier because my brain has learned to set aside the pain and ignore it unless it's really bad. And of course it all comes crashing in whenever I sit down or lie down to sleep. Even so I deep breathe thru it and keep going as best I can. I only take my pain meds when I'm over the top or my family realizes I'm being a grump and brings me a darvacet.

When I was diagnosed I was astounded that this was something that everyone didn't feel. My doctor was poking me and said, "I believe you have fibromyalgia." Because I have a friend who is beyond miserable with this disorder I certainly didn't want to hear that! I told her, "No! I don't have fibro! You just have really pokey fingers!" She had to convince me that everyone didn't hurt all the time and that my arthritis was contributing to the additional pain level that I was noticing. My arthritis has actually made my life worse than my fibro!

Anyway... I envy you all your earlier lives without pain... sad Now I think I'll go feel sorry for myself...
Nahhh! Gotta go make sample cakes for brides to taste!
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/16/2009 8:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Honestly, I hurt a lot when I was a child too. But, I really didn't think anything of it. Everyone called me a baby when I would cry because I fell and scraped my knee or something like that. But, the thing is....it hurt. And when something hurt me, I would cry. That's the way it was. Eventually, I got a little better when it came to dealing with pain. But, Now things are worse than they were when I was a child. I didn't have a pain-free childhood. I just didn't feel nearly as bad then as I do now.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 30000
   Posted 6/16/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Like Jeannie, I have not known any other 'life'. My kids grew up with "Mommy's not doing well, today - again", but they knew I was always there for them.
I used to always over-do, not understanding how bad the consequences would always be. At least I had the chance to live some. Heck, I use to be a horse trainer!!! Now I'm pretty much a couch potato, because of the pain & fatigue mainly. I also have a lot of brain fog, which I hate because that makes it sooo hard to function - like today. =(
Unfortunately, I believe that these will be life-long for me - but I absolutely refuse to stop living some kind of life!! These 'conditions' have taken a lot from me, but I refuse to live my life as a couch potato!! Hubby understands that I need a lot of extra rest, can't tolerate heat & so on & he helps me to know enough is enough.
My deepest sympathies to anyone living this life filled with pain & exhaustion.
- Traveler
Now living without appendx & gall bladder

"Conditions": Lyme Disease, STARI, RMSF, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Lyme Arthritis, Neuro infection from LD, FM, CFS, Chronic/acute EBV, IBS-C, Diverticulosis (& "itis").

Various meds for LD & co's,
1200 mg neurontin, 100mg trazodone
2000 mg chlorzoxazone 50mg Hydoxyz Pam
160 mg dicyclomine 2000mcg B12
40 mg celexa b-complex
800 IU Vit. E 2000 mg fish oil
6mg melatonin 400mg Mg Ox
AND... a multi-enzyme probiotic formula.

Gee, a person would think I was ill or something!! =)


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 6/16/2009 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy when the doc dxd me and told me to go home and research fibro I didn't know much about it and thought it was just some aches and pains. As I researched I was devastated cause I knew I had it and it wasn't just a few aches and pains. I was angry and in disbelief that I had this and there was no cure for it. I didn't hurt near as bad then as I do now. I am one of the lucky ones that didn't get fibro til around 50 and I can't imagine having this my whole life or when I was raising my three sons. I didn't know anyone with fibro or have any of the support I do til I found this forum almost two years ago and it has been a godsend. It took me a long time to realize that this IS my life now and it's up to me to choose how I want to deal with it. I choose to not be angry anymore about what fibro has taken from me but to be positive and thankful for what I do have and can do. I've actually learned a lot about life since having fibro that I probably would have never taken the time to think about if I didn't have it. If I could make it go away tomorrow you bet I would, but it's not.
 
Your getting there Sassy and you are learning to not fight the ocean but go where the waves take you.
 
I use to crochet but the arthritis in my hands won't allow that anymore but it is relaxing. The most complicated thing I made was an Indian blanket with designs in it and you had to carry two threads at all times. Cross stitch is relaxing too and fairly cheap to do.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/16/2009 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
The thing I really want most is to be able to take care of my son. My son is going to have to grow up with me having this, and he is not really going to understand much of it for quite some time. All he is really going to get for a while is that Mommy doesn't feel good, so she can't take me to the park. Or, Mommy has a horrible migraine, so my friends can't come over. Or even, Mommy has to lie on the couch and rest, so I need to be quiet and take care of her as best I can even though I am only (for the sake of this) five. My son isn't even two yet. He is going to have to grow up with a mother that can't take him hiking. He is going to have to grow up with a mother that can't do much with him because I am in too much pain.
And my husband...I have been sick with something or other ever since he met me. But he has always stuck by my and taken care of me. Is he going to get tired of taking care of me, our son, and himself? He might have fibro as well. What is all of this going to do to him?
Those are the things that really make me angry and hurt and depressed. I just want to be a good mother and a good wife.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 6/16/2009 6:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, I was 31 when the Crohn's disease hit me really hard.  I was chained to the toilet.  I had to run to the bathroom between 20-25 times a day and really didn't have much warning.  I had three children and one was a newborn.  The other two were ages 15 months old and 4 years old.  So, my children really haven't known me as a healthy individual.  I was hit with the fibro about a week before my 40th birthday.  
 
My children are wonderful.  No, I couldn't take them to the park and that really killed me because we had a gorgeous park that encircles Cleveland.  Part of the park was only two miles from our home and there was boating and swimming there but I couldn't take the kids.  We never went on a picnic.  But, I worked around the problems as much as possible.  I spent quality time with them.  I was active in their schooling, too.  A biggy for me was dinnertime.  I insisted that the entire family sit down together for dinner and we could discuss our day together.  That, to me, made the family stronger.  
 
My children are all grown now...31, 32, and 35 years old.  They all have wonderful jobs and are really neat people.  My illnesses didn't hurt them at all but it did make them more compassionate human beings.  I remember a few years ago, when we were all together, I broke down crying because I just wished I could have raised them as a healthy Mom.  I told them how sorry I was that I couldn't do the things I wanted to with them.  Sassy, they looked soooo surprised!  They said I was the best Mom...better than any of their friends.  I was always there for them and took the time with them.  Of course they always knew how much I loved them and that is important.
 
So, I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job with your son.  It just doesn't feel that way to you.  The most important thing is to love them and care for them and you can do that with fibro.
 
Sherrine   
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/16/2009 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Sherrine. I really needed to read that. I do try to spend quality time with him. He is all over the place, so that is hard. Today, my husband asked me why I let him climb on me when it hurts me. To me, that is a way that I can play with him. If it hurts too much, then I make him stop, but if it only hurts a little, then I let him do it. I give him lots of hugs and kisses, and I always tell him how much I love him. I am going to try to get in the habit of reading to him everyday. I believe that reading to kids is important, and I don't do it nearly enough with my son. Plus, that is something easy that I can do. Even if he is running around the living room, I can still read to him. I really appreciate what you have told me. I really did need to read that. One of the hardest things about having this illness is that I can't do all the things I want to do with him. But, you have made me realize that I should make the most of the things that I CAN do with him. So thank you so much. I really don't know what I would do without all of you here. You have helped me keep my sanity through all of this.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Littleneck
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 6/16/2009 10:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, I really appreciate your honesty about your pain and having to manage while raising your family. It makes this place even more trustworthy and welcoming. I have been thinking about this thread and how it is about exactly what we all need- a community of others, even people we don't know, others who understand and have the same pain and fatigue and issues and everything. So, thanks, from someone who's been having a tough week and glad to have found this forum.
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