I am angry because...

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poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 6/15/2009 3:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I am angry because I can't do regular housework, and cook a meal and clean a kitchen in the same day.
I am angry because cleaning out 2/3 of the fridge has left me aching and exhausted.
I am angry because I can't go on a shopping trip and enjoy it because I can't hold out to walk!
I am angry because I sleep 10 hours at night, and still have trouble getting up in the morning.
I am angry because as soon as I wake up my hands and feet ache.
I am angry because I can never be considered "healthy" again...and I have to live like it.
I am angry because there is no such thing as "comfortable".
I am angry because excessive emotions...you know, like really happy, angry, or upset...brings on punishment that makes me want to just be a zombie! (If I don't feel, I won't hurt)


I needed to vent!!! shocked
So what about you? Are you angry?
Vickie

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.


Hara
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 6/15/2009 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry at doctors that don't know about Fibromyalgia.
I'm angry when I have to go home when I start hurting.
I get angry when people say you only work 5 days a month?! Why don't you work more often.
I get angry when I get sent to Physical Therapy and it doesn't help.
HARA

WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry when I can't do dishes and they pile up and make my kitchen look nasty.
I'm angry when I can't manage to fold and put away my clean laundry so it ends up getting dumped out on the floor when I need the basket for dirty laundry and gets wrinkled and then I have to find the energy to iron.
I'm angry when my neighbors tell me "You should get out more."
I'm angry that my husband doesn't want me to socialize with certain people based solely on the job they have.

Piercings
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 326
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I am angry that I have a health nut of a boss who doesn't understand that I don't run at her speed.
I am angry that I have to ask the DBF to slow down when we go out walking.
I am angry that I have a room mate who is a hypochondriac and mirrors anything I have.
I am angry that I have to live with that same person cause I can't work enough to afford to live without her.

But most of all I'm mad about these last two cause I'm NO LONGER 6 foot tall.

I am angry that I've somehow lost 2 1/4 inches of height in the last year.
I am angry that I'm going to have to turn in my amazon title cause of the height loss.

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:37 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry because I can't play with my son the way I want to.
I'm angry because I feel like a loser.
I'm angry because I can't do the housework like I want to.
I'm angry because it sometimes hurts to make love to my husband.
I'm angry because I always hurt.
I'm angry because some of my family doesn't believe me.
I'm angry because I can't go hiking anymore unless I want to suffer for it.
I'm angry because I know I will have this the rest of my life.
I'm angry because when I suffer, my husband suffers too.
I'm angry because I just want to feel good again and I never will.
 
 
 
Great topic! I think everyone should vent their angers.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


myjoy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 6/15/2009 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry because I have no energy.
I'm angry because I'm easily depressed and/or anxious.
I'm angry because it's an effort to dry myself off after a shower - it hurts.
I'm angry because this will never go away.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, osteoarthritis, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.

fluoxetine (prozac), buspar, abilify, trazodone, lorazapam, nexium, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine, estrodial patch.


Shash13
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 179
   Posted 6/15/2009 10:37 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry because I feel like a slug -- just crawling around being unproductive.
I'm angry because I'm the matriarch of my family and can't fill the position anymore.
I'm angry because I just can't keep up with anything that's important to me -- I stay behind all the time.
I'm angry because even my dirty dishes reproduce in the sink faster than I can keep them washed.
I'm angry because I can't play actively with my grandchild anymore.
I'm angry because I don't deal with my life better -- even though I really try.
I'm just plain angry............even though I don't want to be.
I'm also grateful for my many blessings -- sometimes the anger just gets overwhelming -- and the sadness.
And, venting has helped for now. Thank you for starting this thread........I feel better!
Luv ya
Shash
Dx: FMS,OA,depression,anxiety,DDD with 7 herniations so far,HTN,IBS,cardiac
stent,failing aortic valve,angina,migraines with aura,many surgeries,+misc.
Rx: Nifedipine,Atenolol,Enalapril,Simvastatin,Levothyroxine,Cymbalta,Bupropion,
Dicyclomine,Lorazepam,Darvocet,Percocet,albuteral inhaler,nitroglycerin,+
( novice with computer - patience, please!)


Hara
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 6/16/2009 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I am angry because I come home from work hurting and take a pain pill and I don't get relief, then I have to take another pain pill. I hate it.
I'm angry because the man I love is an .... and does his own thing and doesn't respect me enough to invite me along in what he's doing.
I'm angry that I have a stupid doctor that doesn't give me good medical care.
I'm angry that I only work 5 days a month and wish I could do more but can't because I hurt too much.
I'm angry that I have a Major Depressive Disorder I can never get rid of.
I'm angry when people at the SSI department tell me I'm not disabled and can work.
I'm angry that I have Sleep Apnea and afraid my son might have it to.
I'm angry that I can't keep my mask on so I have the energy to do things.
 
 
HARA

Post Edited By Moderator (Sherrine) : 6/16/2009 3:26:45 PM (GMT-6)


Stari
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 6/16/2009 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok I get the whole point of this post and I am truly sorry everyone is so angry. Personal I am very angry at the b!!!! that reared ended me while she was talking on her cell phone.

But it takes so much energy to be angry so try to be alittle positive.

poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 6/16/2009 1:34 PM (GMT -7)   
You are right Stari. It does take a lot of energy.

When I wrote the post, I was mad, and needed to vent. By the end, I was a little amused at myself, and titled it like I did because I thought it would give people a way to express and let go of anger. I didn't mean to cause anyone more stress by getting them riled up. (Riled up....southern for upset, angry, and just plain mad! LOL turn)
So everyone...when you write what you are angry about, take a deep breath, and let it go!!!
Positive energy everyone! smilewinkgrin
Vickie

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.


Zaphyrstarr
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/16/2009 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I am angry because I try to make people understand what I am going thru but know in the end that they can never fully understand
I am angry because no one knows why I have this or even really how to treat it
I am angry because I have a very physical job that i love and I know that it will only be a short time before i have to give it up.. already on FMLA
I am angry because I am only 24, hardly begun to live my life and I feel like I am 90 and this is the rest of my life
I am angry because I cannot just go out spontaneously and run around and have fun because the next day... i wont be able to get out of bed
I am angry because I dont know that I will ever have the energy that I need to have the children that I want so badly.. pregnant=no meds  pregnant=no energy  pregnant=no work
I am angry because my family is stressed out because of what I cannot do
I am angry because one day the hubby understands and the next day it all frustrates him to no end
I am angry because I feel lost and have no idea what to do with my life.. everything has been put on hold and everything revolves around FMS
I am angry because I push myself to do the job that I love and I pay the price when I get home and everyone wonders how I can do my very physical/stressful job and not be able to make dinner or do laundry
I am angry because no one can really see what I go through. Even those who understand the best cannot see my struggles at home
I am angry because I dont know what tomorrow will bring
I am angry because I am in constant pain
I am angry because my life has changed forever

Stari
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 6/16/2009 4:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi poodles, hey don't get me wrong it is a great topic and people need to vent. I didn't mean to critize the post and I am sorry if you read that way! "Peace" lol...right.........I just found out that because I missed thirty days of work after the car accident that inside of going to step 10..I have to stay at step 9. It's about $1,200 difference a year in pay.

I am angry because I got hurt and she didn't.

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/16/2009 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I really think this is a great topic. A lot of people, myself most definately included, bottle up their emotions and just keep them there until the dam breaks and they come raging to the surface. I think this post is a great, non-judgemental way for people to let go of their emotions before they become too overwhelming. So, I think this is actually a positive post in a way.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Lefty85
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 6/16/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
I am angry that I have to torture myself every single day doing manual labor in a factory only to still not be able to pay my bills.
I am angry that my boyfriend and I both suffer chronic illnesses and no one in either of our families seems to be understanding at all.
I am angry that my life seems like a downward spiral.
I am angry that I always hurt.
I am angry that all I can do in a day is work and sleep (if I can actually fall asleep).
I am angry that I feel depressed all the time.
I am angry that I am on my own to try to care for four people and work full time.
I am angry that I am always exhausted.
I am angry that no matter how hard I try I can't get everything that I need to do finished.
I am angry and humiliated that I can't get through a day without crying.
I am angry and humiliated that I can't get through a day of work without pain meds.
I am angry that people won't even try to understand how I feel.
I am angry because I know there is no end to this struggle.
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety
***********
Amytriptiline, Flexeril (PRN), Percocet (PRN), Ambien (PRN at bedtime), B12
***********
Be not afraid of going s l o w l y, be afraid only of standing still.
 
 
 
 
 
                                                                                  


WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/16/2009 6:31 PM (GMT -7)   
i am mad because i dropped and broke a plate that is one of a matching set!

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/16/2009 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry because I need medication to help me sleep.
I'm angry because when I don't sleep, I feel really tired and achy all over, which makes me useless.
I'm angry because my husband is in pain and there isn't anything I can do about it.
I'm angry because I'm tired all the time.
I'm angry because I'm in pain all the time.
I'm angry because I feel like I'm a burden.
I'm angry because I have to change my life just because of this illness.
I'm angry because I forget things all the time, including when I am in the middle of a sentence.
I'm angry because I feel powerless.
I'm angry because I can't meet the high expectations I have for myself.
I'm angry because I don't think my body could handle having any more children.
I'm angry because I am poor.
I'm angry because jobs are really hard to find in my town, making it really hard for my hubby to get a job.
I'm angry because I can't work. (When I had a job, I would collapse every evening, and I only worked a few hours a day.)
I'm angry because I am so angry about all of this.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Hello~Kitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 610
   Posted 6/16/2009 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry because I feel like my kids are growing up too fast and I'm too sick/hurting to enjoy every second with them
I'm angry because I live in a town filled with drs and I have to travel 1 and half hours to get decent care
I'm angry because I cant work so I live in HUD apartments that have no washer/dryer and no dishwasher
I'm angry that I cant make fun plans because everyday is diffrent in how bad or good I feel, and most of them are bad
I'm angry that nobody has a cure for fibro
I'm angry that house chores is never ending
I'm angry because my pain causes me to have no social life
I'm angry because I'm too tierd to meet anyone so I'll spend the rest of my life alone (as in bf or husband)
I'm angry that these commercials for fibro meds promises us pain releif but it's all LIES!!!! lol

AND most of all....

I'm VERY ANGRY that their never seems to be enough CHOCOLATE!!!!!!

-hellokitty

Chronic Pain Moderator

Dx-Gallstones at age 14 that caused Fibromyalgia in 1998. Chronic Pancreatitis at age 15 from Pancreatic Divisum. Fell down cement basement stairs on my bottom in 2001. Got severe migraines after the epidural from my 2nd childbirth in 2002. Was rear-ended by a lady doing 55mph in 2004 then 2 months later rolled my car down a hill and did even more damage to my back. Depression caused by having chronic pain. Asthma from allergies.

meds- Suboxone for pain, Cymbalta for pain and depression, Lyrica for pain and migraines, Imitrex for migraines, Ibprofen for migraines, Ventolin Albuterol inhaler for asthma. Phenergan for nausea, Seroquel for sleep.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."         -Mother Teresa


Littleneck
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 6/16/2009 10:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I am angry that I am spending too much money ordering takeout/delivery when I could be going to the grocery store and cooking, but I am too tired after working all day.
I am impatient with myself because I knew this would happen last weekend, when I had time to grocery shop.
I am not totally angry, but just exhaustedly curious in a pathetic sort of way, as to why I have been given this disorder. And it makes me angry that I am too tired to wonder about it!
And because I never go to bed angry...no matter what... I wish everyone's vent was successful and am glad to have found my 'fibro family.'

Mrsppmrxky
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 380
   Posted 6/17/2009 12:04 AM (GMT -7)   
I get very angry with red tape!

I get angry when people lie to me. I don't want anything that is not due to us. I just want to be told the truth and not told something to pacify me and get me to 'move along'

We started drawing my husband's SSDI in April. We were told we would get the back pay.......SS gets to keep 5 months worth.......their rules.......we have to pay out the lawyer..........I had to go and file to get the back pay and was told we would have it in hand to get our bills caught up and after the 10 business days promised, we are 2 months later still waiting and no one will return my phone calls when I have the energy to sit and play with the phone tag.

I get angry with the VA that cancels a claim for aid and attendance so we can get some help to come in and do the things that I can no longer do because it takes so much of my energy taking care of my husband that I can't wash the dirty dishes that need to be on birth control in the kitchen sink........the dirty laundry that needs to be neutered.

I get angry when the bill collectors still multiply because I promised them payments based on the SS giving us the backpay.

I get very angry when an inquiry into the VA on why the claim was cancelled when CANCEL is not an option on approve or denied.

I get so angry that I have to fill out more paperwork and drive 40 miles to turn it in and I have to sit at home with the paperwork because I am just too tired and that makes it too dangerous to be behind the wheel of the car. I have had the paperwork for days and have not felt like getting it to the VA to see if that will help.

I get very angry when you call the gov't reps and they say, we can show an interest, but there is nothing we can do. (No one is really in charge of the SS or the VA.........they answer to 'no one')

I have been doing this multi red tape tap dance for 2 years and I am just so TIRED of dealing with this monkey on my back that it feels like a 2 ton pack I have to drag around everyday. Just the thinking of what to do next to get answers is tiring.

I get so upset with myself that my body fails to do the things that I need to do to take care of my husband and myself. I don't want to have to lean so heavily on my children for help. They have their own lives that they are just starting out on their own.

There I feel better. I have to let the anger go because it just causes too much stress and energy to deal with.

Maybe I should become more like Scarlet O'Hara...........I'll think about it another day............

I would tip toe out of this thread, but then that would cause my toes to hurt, which would cause my feet to spaz and then the muscle cramps in my legs and needing another muscle relaxer..........LOL............so I guess I will just get up and go in search of some more chocolate somewhere the stash has been hidden.

Heather H.
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 756
   Posted 6/17/2009 3:21 AM (GMT -7)   
I am angry because I can't go hiking with my kids.
I am angry that did laundry and cleaned all day monday and now on wednesday, I can still barely move.
I am angry that my husband doesn't get it anymore.
I am angry that he just stopped trying to understand my limits and now expects the world of me.

Heather
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe!
 
dx's:  Fibro, 8th cranial nerve inflamation, MS.
 
meds.:  none at this time
 
 


poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 6/17/2009 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Stari.
I didn't take offense at you at all. I hope everyone is feeling less stress and anger after venting. I know I did.
Vickie

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 6/17/2009 7:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I am pleased I did laundry on Monday, even if it still is on the floor cause I need the basket for dirty clothes. At least I have clothes, and a room to collapse in, close the door, lock out the world, and rest. ( wrinkled clothes and all).
I am pleased that although my dishes are piled up to the ceiling, there's nobody here but me and the dogs, and none of us care. I am pleased I have meds to 'take the edge off" the pain. I don't know the "why'of this disease, but I know there is a greater plan for me, and someday, I will understand, why this is happening. I am pleased there are places like the "Food Bank" where I can go when the money is all gone on the tenth of the month, and I have 19 days to get through, broke. I am pleased that on a whim, yesterday, I managed to haul my little 13'trailer, down near the beach, so that when my evil neighbors start acting up, I have a retreat (if only I had the gas to get there), oh well, it's coming. Yes, I am angry too, at not having a complete life. I understand these are the cards I've been dealt, and I have to play them. God Bless you all.At least they're mostly hearts.
Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


skylark61
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/17/2009 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   

I am angry because not a day goes by that I don't have pain.
I'm angry because doctors just can't seem to help you.
I'm angry because the physical therapy I had for 5 weeks didn't help me.
I'm angry because I just can't do the things I use to.
I'm angry that cleaning my house is such a challenge when it use to be routine.
I'm angry that I want to have fun... but the pain and weakness stands in the way.
I'm angry that I have to take something to help me sleep.
I'm angry that I have to take medications at all.
I'm angry that I can't just be spontaneous.  My life is all about doing things when you have less pain... which isn't very often.
I'm angry because I can't eat certain foods that trigger bad symptoms.... so I must read every lable before I purchase it.


Hugs to Everyone!
~Dianna~
 
Fybromyalgia, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorder, IBS, Migraine Headaches, Mitral Valve Regurgitation, Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Scoliosis, Herniated Disc, Osteophytes
 
Nexium, Nabumetone, Imitrex,  Ambien, Lipitor, Flexeril


MrsCavbar
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 6/17/2009 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm angry that everyone else comes before me and if there is any time energy or effort left, it's for me.
I'm angry that my son has to grow up watching his mother live like this.
I'm angry that this has happened to me, after everything else I've been through.
I'm angry that not enough of the medical community see this as a valid medical condition and spend time bickering over that instead of finding a good treatment or cure.
Lola

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov


FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID


Flexeril 30mg, Celexa 50mg, Despiramine 50mg, Acetometaphen 500mg, Calming Sleep herbal suppliment, ActivOn topical pain relief, Melatonin 300mg, B-complex, Diclofenac 75mg, tramadol 50mg

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