How many have help with their housework???

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Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
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   Posted 6/27/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I see where some of you have either hired or volunteer help with housework and I'm just curious to how many have help???
 
My niece was coming about once a month and helping me out for an afternoon with the heavy housework but she went to work and has so much on her plate she can't do it anymore. This is one area that gets to me more than anything else. It just drives me crazy that I can't keep my house as clean as it needs to be for me. I work as hard as I can at it but I don't seem to make any progress cause I can do so little in a day. DH keeps telling me to hire someone but with our future not looking so rosy anymore I really don't feel like we can afford it even though it would take so much stress off me. I don't know why I let this consume me but it does.
 
Thanks!!!
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
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vestabula
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Date Joined Nov 2008
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   Posted 6/27/2009 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   

I know what you mean, Marlee. For the life of me, I don't know how two people can make such a mess.  I try to de-cluttert, but the hubby is attached to everything.  I literally have to wait until he goes to bed to toss out the must-have catalogues and other items that he might need sometime in the future.  I too obsess about it.  I don't feel grounded or connected surrounded with stuff. Thankfully, it is confined to one room, but only because I have begged him to keep his school stuff out of the other rooms.

I do not see a cleaning lady in my future.  If the economy goes any further down the toilet, we'll be living over a sewer grate in a back alley so it won't matter.  I love watching the stock market arrows pointing straight towards 'you know where'!

Huggies

donna

 


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


noklu
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 6/27/2009 9:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Marlee,

I have help every Wednesday smilewinkgrin    They do all the cleaning, water my plants, laundry, windows etc.  Pretty much whatever I need done that day.  I would not want to be without it.  It's 2 gals that work for 2 hrs, if I need more time thats no problem.  I hate to spend the money, especially in these times, but I would be a basket case without it especially with kids(18 & 23) home from college who like to leave their stuff all over the house, like its our job to pick it up.  I do try to have them do their own wash, and I don't even go into their rooms.  If you stress about it, do yourself a favor and hire some help.  Good luck! 

I can't clean the house and save the world at the same time. 


Maggi
 
anxiety, avascular necrosis, costochondritis, depression, cfs, hypothyroidism, fibro, gerd, thyroid, uc, crs(can't remember stuff)
 
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Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 6/27/2009 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   

I take care of my own home.  I can't afford a cleaning lady.  So, I have learned to pace myself.  I also try to keep things picked up.  Today my project is cleaning my stove, microwave, and all counter tops in the kitchen.  I've been working on it on and off all day long.  I still have a couple of drip trays soaking in the sink.  I don't work non-stop doing anything!  That's how I pace myself. 

I do pick a day to vacuum and dust.  That doesn't take very long...about 45 minutes.  I don't mop the floors every week.  That's the hardest thing for me to do and lots of times I break up the mopping over a couple of days.  I also have to hose off the lanai and wipe down patio furniture about once a month, too. 

I just got in a pattern and do it.  I don't have a choice in the matter.  It may not be as perfect as I would really like it to be but my home is far cleaner than other people's homes I've been in that don't suffer from chronic pain!  No one has gotten sick from my home nor has the Health Department come knocking on the door!  turn   

So, Marlee, my advice to you is let it go.  I had to.  Life will go on even if things are perfect.  Enjoying your family is far more important than stressing over things that people usually don't notice! 

Sherrine 


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


puppylover
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 821
   Posted 6/27/2009 11:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I use to have help ever other week when we lived in a big house.  My Mom, who had Parkinson's, lived with us then and a teenage son also lived at home.
 
I do not have help now.  We live in a condo in Ca.  I have the windows opened a lot and my place is horribly dusty at all times.  Add to that is my darling, shedding Golden retriever with dirty little paws.  I was a much better housekeeper when I was younger and not in as much pain as now.  Thankfully my sweet hubby doesn't seem to mind.  We both are kind of messy people when it comes to leaving stuff laying around.  I pick up once or twice a week.  I keep the kitchen clean and picked up usually.  I keep the bathrooms clean.   But if I'm having a bad day I might just rinse and stack the dishes for the next day.  Vacuum cleaning is the hardest for me.  Even though I have a self propelled Wind tunnel it still hurts my shoulder to vac.
 
I've learned not to worry about the house too much unless we are having company, which happens during 'season' (Dec. thru April).  Then I go nuts and clean like crazy.  I guess I'd rather bike ride or play with my dog instead of scrubbing the floors.  I know life is too short to worry about the dust on the floors.
 
Marlee, I also think you should just let it go.  Enjoy the days when you are feeling good.  If you have a chance do to something fun, do it.  The house doesn't notice you haven't cleaned. wink
 
Puppylover
Fibromyalgia, arthritis in spine and hips, IBS, Raynaud's syndrome, hypertension
 
On the eighth day God created Golden Retrievers.


Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 6/27/2009 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
If I had grown children living with me they would be doing their share. I loved it when my granddaughter was growing up and loved to clean.
 
I have tried to let this go and be happy living with what I can do but it is the one thing that causes me so much anxiety. I think I would have to go to therapy to let this go and if I'm going to do that I might as well pay for help to clean it. smilewinkgrin I'm not looking for perfection just reasonably clean. DH does help but he has been so busy with the business he is doing good to keep up with the mowing and trimming. Plus it doesn't bother him like it does me, he looks at the house with blinders on.
 
I did buy a Shark Steam Mop that I love so I don't mind doing the hard surface floors anymore. They need to be done often with two dogs in the house with one still having accidents.
 
Guess I will just keep doing what I can.
 
Thanks girls.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
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SarahP
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Date Joined Mar 2005
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   Posted 6/27/2009 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Having four children at home, I should have more help than I do. I just sigh, and pick up what they drop behind them. They do help out with the "biggies" like hauling laundry baskets up and down stairs for me. It's the little repetitive stuff that gets me.. the glasses left on tables, plates left out..etc. Seems like I do the same thing a hundred times a day, and each round is a little harder than the last.
But the worst for me is the "fog".. I can't get stuff sorted out and organized. I just look at it, get disgusted.. walk away, come back.. look at it again. The kids ask me what I want done with something and I just roll my eyes. Or it takes me five minutes to come up with the word.. "put the thingie.. that thing.. the um... dang it.. you know.. the THING over there". Hard to get anything done when you are pulling thoughts through hardening clay.
I'm not procrastinating----I'm still doing yesterday!!!! 
 


Lindaloo
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 6/27/2009 4:50 PM (GMT -7)   
It's good to see you Sarah. I have missed you.

As for me, fibro and my back do not allow me stand for any length of time, so housework is very difficult for me. I hired someone about four years ago and she comes in once a week and does an overhaul to my kitchen and cleans the house including the floors. I have two german shepherds, so the dog hair and the sand are horrible year round, I'm afraid.

I am a clutterbug and that hasn't changed. It annoys my husband tremendously. It doesn't help that my dear sainted mother in law cleaned houses and hotels for a living and that you could eat off her floors at any given time. The woman was amazing. An excellent cook too, but I digress.

We just figured in the housecleaning into our monthly bills since I can't do it any more and he doesn't do it either, so we have Sally.

Thanks for letting me share.

Lindaloo
Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
Linda


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 6/27/2009 6:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, I have a lady comes twice a month. We hired her because I could not do it and grad school. She does kitchen couneers, bathrooms, all floors and other stuff like windows sills, a window every once in awhile. She keeps dusted - nick nacks and light fixtures, even the tops of doorways. I pick everything up before she comes so she can do more without cleaning around stuff. It is a big help. My income has decreased because I am not working at the school, so I hope we can still afford her.

Dagger
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 6/27/2009 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I would love a neater house but it's not happening unless I win the lottery and can get a much bigger house. Our house is actually clean; we keep up on the dishes, bathroom, dusting, etc. It's the clutter that makes it look bad. Even if I could afford to hire someone, it wouldn't help. We live in a small space and have a lot of stuff. We are used to walking in zig-zags to get around because books, papers, and art supplies are everywhere. An 800 sq ft apartment is easy to keep clean but impossible to keep neat.

The fibrofog makes me confused when I try to put things away. On good days, I organize piles but the good days never last long enough for me to find homes for everything. If my husband or son put anything away, I can't find it. Since they are guys, they never put things in the same place twice. I get easily distracted and then forget what I was looking for or what I was doing.

We put a wire rack in the closet so I can put my clothes in piles on the shelves. I had a really hard time when my clothes were in dresser drawers, I could never find anything and I'd get frustrated. I have to be able to see things to remember that I have them.

I can deal with the pain and fatigue but the brain stuff gets me nuts.

MrsCavbar
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 6/28/2009 12:01 AM (GMT -7)   
I used to have help, until my cleaning buddy got moved to night shift. Now I set aside 1 hr a day to do housework, but since I've been in a flare the last wk, with it coming to a head yesterday, my house has been left in the hands of my disabled husband and our very hyper 4 y/o, so when I do climb out of bed, I have a lot to do. Even on less painful days, I have a tendancy to forget what I was doing and that means everything gets about 3/4 done LOL
Lola

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

My train of thought derailed long ago, now I take the bus, few more stops, but I eventually get there.

FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID


Flexeril 30mg, Celexa 50mg, Despiramine 50mg, Acetometaphen 500mg, Calming Sleep herbal suppliment, ActivOn topical pain relief, Melatonin 300mg, B-complex, Diclofenac 75mg, tramadol 50mg


Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 6/28/2009 7:05 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm glad I'm not the only one that doesn't get things finished. I started extra projects this spring after being on the vit D and had more motivation and a little more energy and have yet to finish any of them. I have an office in the back of the house and that is where everything ends up that I don't know what to do with, it is a disaster in there but I can lock the door and no one has to see it. smilewinkgrin
 
If I could find someone that works as hard and fast as my niece does I would hire her a few hours a week to do the heavy duty stuff. Because of the arthritis in my hands I can't do a lot of scrubbing.
 
My dream life would be to have my house cleaned so I could spend my time and energy on the fun and interesting things I want to do in life and there are a lot of those I would like to do. Right now I'm spending all my precious energy on the house and not having much fun.
 
Thanks again girls.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
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Jeannie143
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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 6/28/2009 2:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Marlee,
Have you thought about hiring a young high school girl for the summer? The teens are hard pressed to get jobs this year and you might get lucky and find a good one. My daughter does this by paying kids from the youth group at church. They need the money for trips and stuff and she is able to choose the ones from the biggest, less fortunate families that could really use the funds. It's a win/win situation. She even found a guy who can go camping with them. It really helps to have another set of eyes when there are four active kids swimming or roasting hot dogs! Worth a try?
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


Southernlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 6/28/2009 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Marlee, that's one of my major problems also.  My dh helps out some, but it's not enough.  I mentioned to him about hiring someone for maybe twice a month and he said my income wasn't enough for that. 
 
This summer I've been trying to organize and throw out some things when he isn't looking.  He's a pack rat too. 
 
Right now I would have to clean my house before I could hire someone to come in and see such a mess.  Every time I plan on a cleaning day, something comes up with someone at church or in the family and we just drop what we're doing and take off.  The house work is still waiting for me when the crisis is over.  I never seem to get caught up. 
 
I've been out of school for about a month now and I still haven't gotten my closets cleaned out or my windows and woodwork done.  How can you ever find time to do it all?
 
I'm at my ropes end and don't see any problem solving in sight.  As I've said before my fibro isn't as bad pain related as it is exhaustion.  I just get so tired when I have to work at it all day.  My job at school is actually easier than working at cleaning house. 
 
I wish I had a way of fixing this problem too.  If anyone else has any ideas keep them coming.
 
God bless!
Shannon
Of all the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most!!!!


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 6/29/2009 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Shannon, you just need to start doing it.  If you look at an entire closet to clean, it can be overwhelming so just plan on cleaning a corner of it or the top shelves.  You know what I mean.  Once you get started, that will motivate you to do more.  But pace yourself. 

My baseboards need to be cleaned.  I bought the Magic Erasers today.  I want to get a low stool on wheels, the kind the gynos use, so I can sit and roll myself along the baseboards to clean them.  The leaning over will only help stretch my back muscles.  I think Marlee has a stool like this.  I have to check online to see where I can get one.  If I tried to sit on the floor and scoot, I'd be in misery and need to call a crane company to get me back on my feet!  turn

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


donnaeil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 6/29/2009 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   
I say you should hire someone. My 17 year old daughter helps around here and my 22 year old son comes over and does the heavy work occasionally.

We will be moving in about a year to an Island which may to far a commute for my son so I will hire someone else to do the hard housecleaning.

Our place is not spotless but without my children, it would be far worse.

Hire someone to do it, it is worth saving your energy for the fun things you like to do.

Donnaeil

Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 6/29/2009 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   
We have two small colleges here and I thought about putting an ad in the paper for some part time help but I would have to see their rooms first. smilewinkgrin I know I was a slob when I was a teen, the cleanliness didn't come til after I was married and had my own place.
 
It would be nice to concentrate some of my little bit of energy to the good things in life I never seem to have the energy to do anymore by the time I am done cleaning for the day.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
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jadabell
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 6/29/2009 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish I could get help with my home. Between school and work and my two girls i am beat. Its all I can do to get in the car at the end of the day to go home after school and work, but now I have to make dinner and play with my girls too (my oldest is 3, my youngest is 1), which would not be a difficulty if I did not have to clean after everything was done. My husband tries to clean, but his idea of cleaning is "getting the big stuff", he will leave all the "small" difficult tasks and get the plate on the table becuase it is what he notices. I am grateful for what he does, but I would like a night off every once and a while...

snootzie
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 6/30/2009 2:03 AM (GMT -7)   
My mother comes once per month to help me with things and any semi-heavy work. Other than that, I pace myself with the daily chores and caring for my pets.

I'm sure glad that I found this forum!

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 6/30/2009 3:35 AM (GMT -7)   
I used to clean houses when I lived in Florida. Also, I cleaned motel rooms. Then, I had meds which would help me get through the day, and so except for exhaustion at evening, a good sleep, I'd go the next day. My clients were "by referral only". They actually tidied house before I came so I could get to the surfaces to vacuum, dust, scrub whatever. Honestly, I liked doing most of the places I had. There was one lady however, who micro-managed, and I gave her the slip. Could not stand someone over my shoulder. Left alone I can do a thorough cleaning of 1000 sq,. ft. in exactly 3 hours. I mean everything. Underneath furniture, behind fridge, behind toilet, all corners, all cupboards, all closets, etc. I charged $15.00 an hour and wouldn't except anything less that 3 hours, unless it was for a couple, both had cancer, lived in a trailer, and I charged $8.00 per hour for two hours, or didn't charge at all. Just my little contribution to the universe.

Last move, 6 weeks ago, I had a 2000 sq.ft. rental, I was leaving, I wasn't well, so I hired a local girl.
I stayed for the first 30 minutes, helping, then got out of her way. Silly me, I left $60.00 on counter and left. She probably passed me going down the road. I had to go back over Everything. I can't believe the low standard of work put out by some. Altogether, it took me another 4 days of work to get it done properly, for owners to move in as I was renting for winter. So, I don't know what to tell you. I would reccomend asking around your neighborhood for referrals to someone who knows what the heck house cleaning is. You might only need someone twice a month. It's $100 well spent if you fine the right person. Even check with some girls at local hotels, who sometimes want a little cash on the side. Check the public areas, and even ask to see a room. Check baseboards, behind toilet, in closets, etc. (you can tell them aunt martha's coming for visit and you're seeking appropriate facility as she's so fussy, Aunt Martha is. Good luck. Give up something else that's a luxury, like buying new clothes, shop second hand. Use that money for household help. Or whatever. It might prove to be a good thing if you do your homework, as I obviously did not, on my last endeavor.

Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 6/30/2009 6:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Snootzie and Jada and welcome. Jada I keep telling my DH he needs glasses if he can't see the deep down dirt around here.
 
Tyno, I hired a girl quite awhile back and she used a scouring pad on my fiberglass bathtub and scratched it. I was paying her by the hour and she worked I think it was 6 hrs and got very little done, that was a waste of money. My niece is whiz at cleaning and moves and cleans everything like Super Woman going through the house. It's going to be hard to find anyone that I like after being use to her cleaning. I know she loves her job but boy do I miss her.
 
Maybe my best bet would be to ask people that have someone cleaning for them.
 
I'm getting my 10 yr old grandson today for a couple of days so I'm going to put the house on hold til after all the grandchildren have spent time with us.
 
Sherrine I bought a cheap little office chair at Walmart that goes up and down to roll around on for jobs like that. Because of my hands I bought a battery operated brush with different heads that works well for the top of baseboards. I have all white doors and trim which is a pain to keep clean.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
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Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 6/30/2009 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Marlee!  I'll head over to Walmart this week!  I knew you liked your chair.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


snootzie
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 7/12/2009 12:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the welcome, Marlee! I just finished up with a two-week visit from an out-of-state friend. There were times I thought I would drop, but he was kind enough to do the dishes and wash his own clothes. Talk about a great guest!

Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 7/12/2009 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
No a great guest would have cleaned your whole house Snootzie. yeah Our son and DIL are staying here for two weeks while we go on vacation and I'm going to let her know she is more than welcome to clean anything she wants while we are gone and if they want to paint the family room they are more than welcome to do so. turn She has fibro too so don't know how she will feel while she is here.
 
My DH has been asking around, since he is out in the public and knows more people than I do, for references for someone to do the heavy cleaning once a month. I pushed yesterday til I made myself sick and I can't keep doing that. I would l love to have someone once a week but that isn't in the budget.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
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Littleneck
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 7/12/2009 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I was generally a tidy person before my first major flare started this past winter. But I find housework is the #1 problem area for me. I've not yet given up feeling guilty if I can't get to it. I need to get help, or make more commitment to it. It's a small house, but I always end up wandering when I clean.
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