Off-topic: My son won't eat and I am at my whit's end!!!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/28/2009 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a 20 month old son, and he refuses to eat. This has been going on for about two months now. We have spoken to the doctor and he doesn't seem concerned, but I am. He only wants to eat cheese puffcorn. But, we decided to take that away in the hopes that with it gone, if he got hungry enough, he would eat. My son is too young to send him to bed hungry. My husband and I just don't know what to do. We have tried to give him food, but he absolutely refuses. Sometimes, he will eat some of that Go-Gurt, but that's about it. I am so afraid that he is going to end up in the hospital with a feeding tube down his throat. I know that kids go through phases, but this one is really scaring me. My hubby and I just don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice, suggestions, support, anything?? I really need some help. I just really am at my whit's end. This is so frustrating for my hubby and I because we want to see our son eat. We want to see him healthy. His hemoglobin is a little low, and I am afraid that it is only going to get lower. I am really afraid he is going to have to go into the hospital. Someone, please HELP!
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


sjkly
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 2113
   Posted 6/28/2009 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Will he drink carnation instant breakfast, ovaltine or something like that (my four year old nephew eats very little maybe 5 foods all of them junk-he has literally never put a peice of any type of meat in his mouth-he won't eat french fries).
The ovaltine or carnation taste like chocolate milk but offer more in the ways of nutrition and calories.

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/28/2009 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
We have the NutriPals drinks for him, and that is what I am going to try to give him for his "breakfast" tomorrow. I hope he likes it because they do have a lot of vitamins and minerals in it, and that is good for him. When I was anorexic, I drank the carnation instant breakfast drinks. They are awesome. Thanks for the advice.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 6/28/2009 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sassy!!

OK "daughter"...this little guy is trying to "out-stubborn" you and they are mighty good at it. As a mom and grandma here's what I did when this happened to me. If they will only eat one item like the cheese puff deals then I would agree...take them away. He can scream and refuse to eat all he wants but when you give in he knows he can control the situation. It's amazing how young they become very sly and conniving. One grandson was vicious at that game and would make his mom's life miserable. My doctors told me the same thing too...a child will not starve himself to death. But is sure makes you feel miserable...but it won't last long.

My plan would be....get him some PediaSure...like Ensure but for children. (Ensure would do if you can't find the kids one but not for long term use. The PediaSure is belance for infant/toddler needs) Doc can write a prescription for it if he needs it because it's spendy. He will get all the nutrition he needs plus liquids. My major concern right now would be dehydration. Offer him water in his sippy cup any time he wants it or when he refuses regular food.

Another thought...have you been offering him regular adult food? My 10 month old granddaughter has been eating off the dinner table for about 3-4 months now except things are cut very small and nothing hard like carrots of course. Otherwise she eats people food. It's possible he would like what you are eating.

I would also keep a log of everything he takes in and swallows...food wise that is...lol Then call the doctor frequently and report it. If you are the squeaky wheel you will get the attention you want. If not then ask for a referral to a pediatrician who can help. A few weeks of being stubborn isn't rare, in fact most toddlers go through some of it but if it's too prolonged without taking in plenty of liquids then it IS a reason to be concerned.

Watch the diaper and you'll know if he's low on water. He'll be dry way too long and his BM's will be hard. If he gets constipated or has diarrhea then I'd get him right in.

Feel free to email me. This place is baby central any more. One extra daughter delivered last week, another is due in 6 weeks or so and #1 daughter has a 10 month old. I do love those little guys!

Hugs,
Chutzie (aka Mom) ;-)
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums ~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis, collapsed disk, and a few other side dishes.

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns


MrsCavbar
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:27 PM (GMT -7)   
My son went through the same phase, as did my 8 godchildren, my son God love him, being the most stubborn of the 9 LOL One thing that I tried and ended up working was to give him veggies and meats with cheese sauce on them, some Velveeta and milk melted together was the best a slice of cheese will work, but it's too hot to eat while gooey so the milk helps thin it out. Good luck, kids can be SO trying, but oh man they're soooo much fun :)
Lola

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

My train of thought derailed long ago, now I take the bus, few more stops, but I eventually get there.

FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID


Flexeril 30mg, Celexa 50mg, Despiramine 50mg, Acetometaphen 500mg, Calming Sleep herbal suppliment, ActivOn topical pain relief, Melatonin 300mg, B-complex, Diclofenac 75mg, tramadol 50mg


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 6/29/2009 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi...our grand daughter came to visit last summer for three days with her father.  While she was here, she ate three french fries, several pieces of cheese and two bites of a hot dog.  That's it.  I was so upset but her father didn't seemed concerned at all.  He said he had talked to the doctor about it and as long as she drank fluids, not to worry about it.  One of my sons would only eat spaghettio's and pork and beans for over a year when he was about two.  I guess many children go through these phases.  Just offer as many fluids as you can.

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 6/29/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
My son went through a similar phase at about this age where all he would eat was chicken nuggets and fruit. I, too, was very concerned and spoke to his pediatrician about it and she said that as long as he was being offered a wide variety of food at each meal, he'd eventually come around and add some more foods to his diet. She also said that kids don't have food hangups the way some adults do, so we didn't need to worry about him intentionally going hungry, so I wouldn't worry too much about your son going to bed hungry-if he's hungry, he will eat. Our Dr. ended up being right on our son-we just kept offering him different things and he did finally get to the point where we could get him to eat other things. He's now 4 and doesn't have any health problems related to that time when he had the weird diet and now he eats all kinds of things. I don't know why kids this age do that, but it's super common and as long as he's taking in fluids and eating something every day, he should be ok.
love and hugs
~danielle


fibromyalgia, ibs, gerd, anxiety

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.~Carlos Castaneda

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.~William Shakespeare

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.~Erma Bombeck


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 6/29/2009 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   

I agree with Chutzie that he is trying to be the controlling person.  I always had nice meals for the kids.  I'm sure you do too.  But, they knew that if they didn't eat their breakfast, there would be nothing offered, but juices, milk, water, etc. until the next meal.  Period.  End of discussion.  If your son is hungry, he will eat.  I would eliminate junk foods altogether.  At his age they just put on weight and are not good for a growing child.  When he does eat, offer fresh fruits and veggies for his snacks. 

He will not allow himself to starve.  If he gets hungry, he'll eat the good foods you offer him.  Also, I remember times when my children weren't in a growing spurt.  They picked at their food.  But, when they were really growing, they ate so much more.

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 6/29/2009 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the advice everyone. He did actually drink the Nutri-Pals drink that I gave him instead of milk this morning. At first he didn't want it, but then he ended up drinking nearly all of it. So, in my opinion, that is at least a good start. At least with these drinks he is getting the vitamins and nutrients that he needs. That is the really important thing.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


donnaeil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1156
   Posted 6/29/2009 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I would not worry. When I reared my children I did my best not to think of term as conniving, stubborn and controlling. From my perspective, Mothering was not being at war with two year olds. I think that your eating disorder is causing you to over react to his non eating phase.

I have done this myself in terms of living with PTSD and even my fibro. Any hint of trauma or pain with my children lead to extreme worry.

I have never had a non eater in my family. However, I always offered a wide variety of food to my children. I breast fed them longer than most mom's do so that my be why I never worried about food.

Since I cannot offer any eating advice I say to try to relax about all of this. His pediatrician will notice if something is wrong.

I just wanted to encourage you to have a positive outlook on your two-year-old's behavior. Think of him as being good and not as being controlling and conniving, please. Those labels can last for life and become self fulfilling prophecies.

Donnaeil

RedDiane
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 906
   Posted 6/29/2009 10:55 AM (GMT -7)   
One my kids went through short spurts where he wouldn't eat much, but when he got hungry he did. I think sometimes they're not growing so much and aren't hungry. Both boys ended up as teenagers eating me out of house and home. No one can pack in food like a teenage boy. I'm sure your son will be fine. Diane
Fibromyalgia since 1984, Sjogren's, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Auto-immune eczema, GERD, osteoarthritis, IBS, RLS, sleep apnea


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 6/29/2009 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy our first child is the experimental child turn mine survived and I knew nothing about babies and he is normal surpisingly, well almost normal anyway. He can't stand not having socks on cause I had this thing about children being barefoot in the winter cause my feet would get cold so I assumed their's was cold too. I still can't stand to see a baby or toddler barefoot when it is cold out.
 
My yougest was the one that I thought would starve to death when he was a toddler. He had the energy of the energizer bunny and I couldn't understand how he could have so much energy on what he ate.
 
I hope you feel better after getting so much advice from seasoned mothers and grandmothers.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 6/29/2009 5:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I didn't think of my children as conniving, stubborn, or controlling.  BUT, children are very smart...at least mine were...and they tried to get away with anything they thought they could.  Even children that young are quite capable of getting what they want.  When a child holds out for cheese puffs, it's not a coincidence.
 
Sassy, don't stress over this.  As I said earlier, he will not starve himself.  When he's hungry, he will eat and I would not give junk food to him. 
 
I found this link from the Mayo Clinic that might give you some ideas.  Hope this helps.  (Be sure to check out #2!)
 
 
Sherrine
 
 
 


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Post Edited (Sherrine) : 6/29/2009 6:52:59 PM (GMT-6)


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 6/29/2009 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sassy,

The behavioral psychology approach:  Ignore him when he refuses to eat and give him lots of praise when he does.  This will work if it is an attention maintained behavior.  It is not that he is necessarily doing it on purpose for attention.  But if he has discovered that you get excited, upset, whatever when he does not eat, he may continue not eating because of this extra attention.  If he stops getting the extra attention, not eating will cease to be rewarding.

He may increase his efforts to not eat, for awhile.  It is extremely important that you do not give in at this time because he will then have learned that this increased effort is what it takes to get the attention and he will start at the new more intense level. 

Good luck.  Kids are smart.  Parents are smarter.  wink

gentle hugs,

Sue


Southernlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 6/29/2009 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, I had the same problem with both of my sons when they were little.  I kept complaining to the dr. and he kept reasuring me they would be fine.
 
They are now 34 and 32 and both have to watch their weight constantly.  You've had some good advice on here so try to not worry.  He will no doubt grow up to be a fine young man.  Just enjoy him while you can.
 
Shannon
Of all the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most!!!!


Hello~Kitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 610
   Posted 6/30/2009 1:31 AM (GMT -7)   
My 9 year old son wont eat barely at all. I remember when he was a baby and I was trying to introduce foods to him, he would absoutly refuse them. I would cry and he was looking so pale and sickly, so his pediaricain wronte and RX for WIC to keep him on baby formula (since that's all he wanted) till he was 18 months old. By the time he was 18 months he would eat french fries and scarmbled eggs, but thats all. And this has gone on for all his life, I even had to have WIC give him pediasure so he got his nutrietion which had to be RXed by a doctor. Now all he will eat is grape goober sandwiches, plain hamburgers (he only likes the ones I make, I guess everything tastes better when mom makes it), chicken fries from BK, chicken nuggets from McDs and fries, and now he likes very crispy bacon, and cinnamon rolls, and thats ALL, and of course he like butterfingers that he gets only once in a while. One of his past ped decor said it was probably because he felt like he had no control over his life so he controls his food, which made no sense as he runs the home. I'm not married or have no bf, it's just me and him and his sister, so that makes him the man of the house, and he's darn proud of it. I know I was a picky eater too. But I remember when he was a baby people would make rude remarks saying I refused to feed him, when I tried so hard to feed him, he just plaine refused, but he baby formula really helped til he was 18 minths old and I just reminded myself that the doctor said it was ok and not to worry, so I didnt. He eventually learned to eat, maybe he's a very picky eater, but he does he ALOT of the few foods he does like.

-hellokitty

Chronic Pain Moderator

Dx-Gallstones at age 14 that caused Fibromyalgia in 1998. Chronic Pancreatitis at age 15 from Pancreatic Divisum. Fell down cement basement stairs on my bottom in 2001. Got severe migraines after the epidural from my 2nd childbirth in 2002. Was rear-ended by a lady doing 55mph in 2004 then 2 months later rolled my car down a hill and did even more damage to my back. Depression caused by having chronic pain. Asthma from allergies.

meds- Suboxone for pain, Cymbalta for pain and depression, Lyrica for pain and migraines, Imitrex for migraines, Ibprofen for migraines, Ventolin Albuterol inhaler for asthma. Phenergan for nausea, Seroquel for sleep.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."         -Mother Teresa


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 6/30/2009 3:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Stargeek. I worked in a behavioral unit for 10 years and it went like this. Set the food out, calmly say, "dinners ready", and forget about it. After 1/2 hour, take it up. Offer a sandwich, 1 time. Then forget about it. The thing you do not want to do is set up a power struggle over food. You know this, you said you'd been there. Do not make an issue of it. Calm, steady, patient. Hold your tongue when it comes to food. No big deal. He will eat when he gets hungry. If you do offer a snack between meals make it an apple, or slice of cheese or piece of bologna. Anything but junk. Good luck.

Bella Scarlett
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 6/30/2009 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   
My daughter is going through this right now with her 15 mo. old daughter and she has been very worried. She's doing lots of research and it seems to always come back to 1) the child is learning how to control mom (and is doing a great job at it!), and 2) he/she will eat when he's hungry. You can find some good info at babycenter.com (eurybcvbhdjhfrhfjrhfdhh.net/hg57h6458hih857fh587.php)
"...All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."
Julian of Norwich


beautymom5
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 84
   Posted 6/30/2009 10:24 AM (GMT -7)   
You also have to remember that when they are NOT growing they are not that hungry. So don't fret if he will not eat a whole lot.

Kids go in cycles..when they are not growing they don't get as hungry, then you notice they will start eating and you can't seem to get them full and they will plump up a bit..then you start to worry that they are getting fat...but then they will hit a growth spurt and you can't keep them in clothes.
In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 11:09 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,517 posts in 301,219 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151336 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, depressionexam.
218 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Scaredy Cat, gitane44, ChickNorris, celebrate life


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer