Feeling So Alone and Frustrated

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IHurt2
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/23/2009 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello
 
 
 
 

Post Edited (IHurt2) : 9/1/2009 7:08:49 AM (GMT-6)


noklu
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 7/23/2009 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Not only do I hear you, I understand as well.  Some days you just want to chuck it all, and others so thankfull for living.  I'm no dr. but it sounds like you have a bit of depression going on.  I used to do everything also, now I'm lucky if I can take a shower.  Have you talked to your husband about how you feel?  You have been married for so long, surely you can talk to him, right?  Can you take up some sort of hobby to fill your days?  I know gardening is difficult for me to do, but I give it my all when I can.  When I have a lot on my mind or just want to be alone I go pull weeds.  It is great therapy and I know I won't be bothered.
 
You can get through this frustration and loneliness.  I know I don't know you, but I have been there, done that.  I hope this helps, just knowing that someone cares.  I care.  I send hugs to you, and hope you feel better soon.
Maggi
 
fibromyalgia, chronic pain, chronic fatigue syndrome, anxiety, depression, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis, costochondritis, GERD
cra (can't remember anything)
 
in trying times, don't quit trying          
 


cbear
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 7/23/2009 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
hello. i just spent alot of time typing a response to u only 2 lose it on my stupid computer. yet another frustration n my life. so this time im just going to say, thank u 4 finally posting. u and i have so much in common. ive been sick over 10 yrs, been married 27, and have a 19 yr. old daughter away at school. im n constant pain and always fatigued. ive lost most of my friends, 2 and our house, which used 2 b clean and neat is now a cluttered, dirty mess. my husband works alot and does his best around the house but just cant do everything. i do very little. our finances arent as bad as urs but worry about his co. future and have lots of debt. i am also frustrated, angry and depressed. i want u to know that u r not ALONE. i would type more but am afraid of losing it again. will tell u more in the future if u want to talk to me later. take care and know that though we are sick it should not and does not define who we r! sincerely, cbear2122

Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17095
   Posted 7/23/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Ihurt, and welcome!  I'm glad you decided to speak up!  You know, I do think you are going through some depression.  Not a deep depression but you are definitely sad, and it seems you are sad all of the time.  You are not alone with those feelings.
 
My husband died nearly 12 years ago and I miss him terribly.  So, I am pretty much alone so I had to create a new life for myself.  I try to keep as busy as possible.  I do own my home but, like you, am struggling because of the economy but I try to make the best of things.  I do take care of my own home and pace myself to keep it clean.  It's not spotless but it's cleaner than most of my friends that don't suffer from chronic pain.  The "exercise" of keeping up the house does help me maintain strength and helps with the pain.  BUT, as I said, you do have to pace yourself.  I do take care of the furnace filter but I don't take care of the grass but I do love gardening so I do that.
 
I also started reading and doing genealogy.  These activities I find to be fun and takes my mind off of pain so it fades some in the background.  You might like that, or maybe knitting, cross-stitching, things like that.  These make you feel like you are accomplishing something and make great gifts, too!  I don't sew or use a needle and thread.  That's not what I enjoy doing so genealogy is a biggie for me.  I LOVE that!
 
A little paced elbow grease does wonders on a house.  This past week I worked on cleaning the baseboards of my home.  I would clean for a few minutes and then get on the forum a few minutes.  Then clean a few more minutes, etc.  You get the picture and I did get a lot done and looking at them clean makes me feel a lot better and less stressed.
 
So, I guess what I'm saying is try to get moving and make plans for your day.  Keep as busy as you comfortably can.  Start living your life again.  Look at all the good things in your life and try to take care of the things that you are able to take care of.  It will make a difference for you and you just might find you are feeling better.  Stress causes pain and you are stressing over this.  Stressing over things you have no control over is futile.  And, things you are stressing over that you CAN control, take care of.  You will feel better.
 
Sherrine
 
 
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


lost in philly
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 7/23/2009 9:37 AM (GMT -7)   
I know what you mean. Sometimes I think that it isnt worth all the grief of owning a house! But it must be worth it when we are old and it is mostly or all paid for, it will make life much easier then. But it sure is hard now in this economy, especially if you are behind the 8-ball like so many of us are.
And it is really hard to accept when you can no longer be the superwoman that you used to be. We have to find new roles for ourselves in our marriages, in work, as parents, everything. If someone else was slacking off in our minds in one area we used to be able to just pick up the slack without thinking much about it...now we have to confront our feelings about it because we are stuck on the couch staring at the grass that is 2 feet tall! On top of it is the medications or the chronic pain that makes the anger go from a slow simmer to a high boil. Its alot to handle.
For me the isolation is the hardest. Pain and fear and sickness is very isolating in itself. But just being home alone so much, not working and being around people is VERY hard for me. I feel very lonely all the time, like I could burst into tears at any minute.
Instead, I try to take it minute by minute and try to reach out to at least one person a day.
Im glad you finally wrote! Stay strong,
lost in philly

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Migraines, Asthma, Chronic Fatigue

Savella, Topamax, Morphine, Percocet, Wellbutrin, Abilify, Crestor, Resoril, Loestrin, Imitrex

B12, Magnesium, Melatonin, Omega3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Knowing without doing is like plowing without sowing."


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 7/23/2009 2:29 PM (GMT -7)   
You hang in there, girl...you are not alone.  Fibro is a very isolating disease.  People don't understand it because we don't look sick.  Sometimes we have to cancel at the last minute, we can't physically keep up with others, and unfortunatley some still consider Fibro as nothing more than hypochondria. 
 
I have a good friend who has stopped inviting me to go garage saling with her because I am too slow and can't keep up with her.  If I shop with friends I am gimping along behind them and I can tell they are annoyed because they have to slow down to wait for me.
 
My hubby works abot 60/70 hours a week also, but his office is here at home.  There are days I don't see him except for meals.  I try to help him with the yard etc, but always pay the price the next day.  I was determined to paint the kitchen this summer but I just can't do it.  There is a lot of work that has to be done in our house too...things that if I didn't have fibro I could do myself very easily.
 
My hubby and I are in our early 60's and have lost a ton of our retirement in the stock market so I understand the financial frustration also.  He keeps saying "I can never retire now' and it makes me  depressed because we had so many plans.  I too hope we can keep our house!
 
We just keep plodding along and it's okay to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time.  But there's always a new day and that's what keeps me going.
 
Huggies
Donna
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Piercings
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 326
   Posted 7/25/2009 9:40 PM (GMT -7)   
IHurt2,
Hi, welcome, and like you I'm more of a lurker. It's not that I don't have things to say, but it's usually cause someone else has already said my thoughts by the time that I get around to reading the original post. The other thing that happens is that I won't get a chance to read for a couple of days and then I post like crazy trying to catch up on what's been happening.

You are not the only one that goes through the isolation and feelings of being overwhelmed. It's something that we all here share. And well, just like laughs, the pains are good to share as well cause it lightens the load. People here not only are friends but they are like family too, so feel free to have pity parties, just remember to send out invites, otherwise we'll forget to bring our pointy little hats and noisemakers. idea

Bella007
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 7/25/2009 10:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with everything that was said,we understand you totally.

This forum and others like this are a life saviour, for people like us.

Come to the forum more often, you can chat with us or vent or cry,

but don't forget to laugh, we do that here too. I 've been bedriden for 3 weeks now, and if

it wasn't for all the jokes here and medicinal merajuana ofcource, I would be clinnically depressed.

Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 7/26/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
IHurt I know I wrote a post to you but it must be in cyber space somewhere. I'm another one that understands where you are coming from. My poor hubby is 66 and we have watched our future go down the drain in the past few years because of bad investments and stock market. I guess he is going to have to keep working til he drops and that wasn't the plan. about everything we have is invested in our house which isn't worth what we paid for it 4 yrs ago.
 
I can't let myself sit around and think about the future or I would go crazy. I take one day at a time and we will face problems as they come. We are lucky that we are not alone and have hubbies to deal with everything with us, I can't imagine going through all this alone. We had a scare over the winter with my DH's heart and it really put things into prospective. I will live in a tent if I have to as long as he is living with me. Yeah, I do like all the modern day conveniences and electronics and if there is a gadget out there that will make life easier I want it but.........
 
I spend a lot of time alone too although my DH has his own business so he is never far away if I need him which is a comfort to me. I have one 10 mo old and one 4 mo old puppies to keep me busy. I think it is essential for us to have hobbies to lose ourselves in. I am working on getting all my pictures organized on my computer so I can get them put on disk or thumb drive. I also do genealogy and have been bitten by the bug again so I'm working on another branch of my family. It is a great hobby that you can really lose yourself in and it is never done.
 
Hang with us we are all in this together.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


Littleneck
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 7/26/2009 1:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I Hurt2, I struggle with the same issues you do. My boyfriend lives with me, and he has a very physical job in construction. Sometimes he works 12-14 days and comes home and falls into bed. I work 7 hours days, and the house should look better than it does, and the lawn is unkempt. I do what I can, clean the kitchen furiously when I can, and on weekends we are trying to be more of a team when it comes to chores. When I let myself imagine the future (house falling down, creeping decrepitude!) it is very upsetting! So I imagine today, maybe tomorrow, and what I CAN do instead of what I can't. I am in a flare that started in January and hasn't abated, and each day is something new. Some days I can't walk well, like today. I can't change having fibromyalgia, but I am starting to see that I can change my reactions to it. All you here help a lot with that.

American Woman
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 7/27/2009 3:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ihurt2,
 
I am new to the forum, but since I've been posting, I don't feel so alone anymore.
My hubby and son own their own business and its right in our yard, so he's never far away and I am so grateful for that.  He works long hours but I can talk to him whenever I need him.  Again very grateful. 
 
Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I just come on the forum and chat for a while and that keeps my mind busy and then the loneliness goes away.
 
I think I say this everytime I post anything, but this forum has helped me so much.  I'm not very good with computers so this is also helping me learn. 
 
Keep talking with all of us and I will bet you will start feeling better.
 
Have a great day, if not today then maybe tomorrow.
 
American Woman

pinkpirateprincess
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/27/2009 9:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi all,

I am brand new here, within the last hour as I just stumbled upon this site in a Google search! I agree, I'm not glad to have found so many in the same boat as me but I am grateful to have found others to relate to.

I have been searching for help the past couple days because of a major flare-up and NO painkillers - period. I have been taking some of my husband's Darvocet but it takes 3 of the maximum strength just to barely take the edge off and at that rate my liver will be dead very soon, something I am quite attached to! My primary care doctor referred me to a pain clinic but the one she referred me to can't get me in until September 3rd, which is a lifetime away when you're in constant pain, as ya'll know. My breakdown today came when the same primary care doctor that referred me to a pain clinic would not prescribe ANYTHING - NOTHING - NADA - ZIP - ZERO for pain to get me through til Sept 3rd. According to her nurse, she said I just have to wait til my appointment at the pain clinic and she would not prescribe anything for pain because "Fibromyalgia does not respond to painkillers at all." (This is coming from the same doctor who had previously given me Norco for said Fibromyalgia that now apparently is all in my head - I guess I must just want a "fix"). Actually, I just want a life without pain but it's apparently not in the cards for me. It's been my personal experience that when I get a grip on one thing, another pops up in its place - I swear, sometimes I honestly and truly feel like I am God's guinea pig, He's put me here to test just how much a person can take before they snap. Sorry, I'm having a bit of a pity party tonight and I am unusually depressed.

I'm sorry if my next question belongs in a different forum or thread (and please, please let me know if it does and accept my apology and ignorance as I am new to all this!) but I have heard mixed things on pain clinics so I'm looking for any insight on it all. All I want is to have no more pain and if that is by narcotics, I'd like a doctor who understands that and will help me with them and monitor me closely to be sure I am not abusing them; if it is by other means, so be it but I also don't want to be a human guinea pig or a pincushion until the answer is uncovered. I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired... confused


Littlesrebel
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 7/28/2009 10:15 PM (GMT -7)   

I think I need roxicet as a back up, so I don't have to go to the ER every month. I keep getting flare ups monthly. Many times the Dr. should have kept me overnight b/s the tordidal shot only works for awhile then it’s back to the pain.

 

Daily I'm fatigued and have pain. That's normal. When it get's, so bad I want to be put to sleep. No one in my life understands how painful it gets. My husband just tells me to shut up and go to sleep. Then he comes in to check on me and puts the blankets on me every so many hrs since I kick them off, b/c restless leg syndrome.

 

I just go home and go to sleep mostly to ignore the pain. Trazadone helps me sleep. 2 benadryls help me cool down sometimes when I'm wigging out. I barely got on flerxeril 2 months ago with no refills as usual, but have to take it 3x's a day or I can't walk or get out of bed. I have to refill every 10 days.

 

I have some vicodin, but it doesn't work for me. It does nothing. Two does nothing. Plus can't take it during work.

 

The fluoxetine is at 40mg. I think I might have to go to 60mg that's my usual. Been feeling too depressed. Discrimination at work, b/c of my Cain and taking sick days. I had to report that. I cried for days b/c of it. It made my stress go up. I still feel the repercussions of it. It made me realize I have an illness I can’t get rid of. I want God to take it away for all of us. I can’t even get a handicapped sign. I petitioned twice to the Dr. Maybe they think I can crawl instead.  confused  How can I get the handicapped sign.

 

My friend that's on Medi-Cal for migraines gets vicodin, percocet, baclofin, valium, and ativan. It's not fair. I work for my insurance and people on medi-cal get better treatment.  mad I had to wait 3hrs for my vicodin to be cleared by a Dr. or go to Urgent Care again. I waited the 3hrs instead. That was ridiculous.

 

The greatest ticker is that it took the an ER Dr. to figure out I have both FM and myofacial pain syndrome that’s what caused the depression and anxiety. I’ve had this for yrs. It’s hard to deal with right now. I’m crying.  cry  

 

I felt so alone today. I waited all day just to get on the forum to vent and cry.

 

Where is the spell check on this?


Littlesrebel
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 7/28/2009 10:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I will pray for your husband. All that work then having to care for an ill person like us is hard. Do yoga to stretch the muscles and buy a stationary bike. Gradually it will help, so you can clean the house and do yard work. I wish you could work too. It's sad being home alone all the time I'm sure. I would be going nuts locked up everyday. You are lucky to have a good husband.

PBZ0652
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/1/2009 3:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Many people have said what I feel, so I won't repeat, except to say I understand, I hear you, and I empathize. You are not alone in your suffering. When I started going to a rheumatologist, I got a lot better care and understanding from someone who not only believed I was ill, but knew a lot about it and continues to study research. So cool about the Merlin hawks! I love photography, too, and birds. It is a wonderful feeling to capture a great shot, and play with it on the computer. Keep at it!
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