Off Topic: Loss of a friend

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KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 8/6/2009 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Everyone,
 
I'm reaching out to all of you, because I'm quite sad and I'm not sure who else to talk to. 
 
I've lost a friend recently.  This friend has not died, but is no longer a part of my day-to-day life. 
 
I guess I'm just missing my friend - a lot - and I need a shoulder to cry on.  cry   
I'm not sure what else to say, so I guess I'll stop there.  I'm glad I have this place to come to when I'm feeling down.
 
Thanks for being that shoulder for me...
 


Jokat
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 278
   Posted 8/6/2009 6:44 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Kerri!
 
I am sorry that you are no longer a part of your friend's day-to-day life.
I too recently lost contact with a friend and can tell you that I share your pain. Friends are hard to come by in our busy lives and are even harder to get over.
 
We are always here for you if you need our broad shoulders.....
 
I miss my friend terribly so I can not tell you it gets any easier anytime soon...... maybe one day you will be able to overcome what it is that keeps you from being apart of each other's everyday life....
JoKat
 
Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us. {Earl Nightingale} 
Fibro since 2005


KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 8/6/2009 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   

Jokat,

It sounds like you can truly empathize. Thank you very much for your response; it's almost as if you are sharing my same experience.

Thanks for offering "broad shoulders". It's exactly what I needed.

Please know that we are always here for you as well.


Kerri

Fibromyalgia since 2007

"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit."
 
Helen Keller


Jokat
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 278
   Posted 8/6/2009 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton
JoKat
 
Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us. {Earl Nightingale} 
Fibro since 2005


KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 8/6/2009 9:01 AM (GMT -7)   


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 8/6/2009 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kerri...

I'm so sorry your heart is hurting! When I was younger...much younger my best friend all through our school years headed south to college and I headed east. No problem...but when she was back home about 5 years later she came to tell me about her wedding plans. One comment she made was, "we're getting married in CA because all my friends and I don't have any up here any more." To this day that stings when I think of it. What happened to 15 years of our lives, seeing each other every day, sharing everything growing up.

Well, without realizing it until many years later, I let it keep me from getting too close to people for fear of being hurt like that again. I still keep my guard up but try to realize it when I'm doing it. Your story is private and most likely very different but the pain is likely similar. So why am I telling you this??? Try not to do what I did. It's very hard to trust again when you've been hurt so deeply. Give yourself time to heal, always feel free and comfortable coming to talk to all of us here and remember that with time the pain will lessen.

Loves!
Chutzie
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums ~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis, collapsed disk, and a few other side dishes.

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17094
   Posted 8/6/2009 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Kerri, I'm so sorry that you lost your friend.  I lost a friendship last fall and I have no idea why!  We had been friends for 33 years.  It did hurt but then I realized that she wasn't a true friend, really. 

A true friend is there through thick or thin, through health or illness, and even through moves far away.  A true friend is a part of you and you just don't throw away a true friendship.  I feel I had a 33 year acquaintance with this person and it is time to move on.  I do have other good friends that have been with me through the death of my husband, all the fibro issues, etc.  Those lasting friendships I'll have until the day I die.

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Jokat
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 278
   Posted 8/6/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Good friends will always be friends, even when they can not be as close as they want. You do not just stop caring about someone.
JoKat
 
Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us. {Earl Nightingale} 
Fibro since 2005


KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 8/6/2009 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Chutzie - thank you so much for sharing your story.  I appreciate you opening up, so that you could try to help me.  I can understand why such a thing would sting, even years later, and why you might have kept your guard up since.  I can truly empathize, as I often have my own guard up as well.  It's tough to make friends that way.
 
 
Sherrine - thank you.  It must have been difficult for you to lose your friend, especially when you did not know why it happened!  I am so glad that you have some friends who have been there for you during your most difficult times.
 
Danib - thank you, I am glad you can relate.
 
Jokat - you are right, true friends will always care for one another. 
 
Thanks, guys.  You have really helped me today. 

Kerri

Fibromyalgia since 2007

"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit."
 
Helen Keller


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 8/6/2009 4:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Kerri..So sorry for the loss of your friend.  I think all of us, at one time or another, knows what that kind of pain feels like.  Your cyber friends are here for you...we care.

Hugs

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 8/6/2009 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Kerri,
I am sorry that you lost your friend. It really sucks when you care about someone and the person moves away emotionally. I wish you healing.
Sue

Mo Stewart
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/6/2009 11:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kerri,

I understand what you are going through. about 2yrs ago, my best friend for 10 yrs stopped talking to me, because of Fibromyalgia. She didn't understand what i was going through and thought I was making it all about me...for a year i went about my life without my second half...literally we were like twins at heart. So i understand that pain, especially when you need someone...it iwll get better. It Will!

KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 8/7/2009 5:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Donna and Sue. :)

Mo, thank you for sharing your story too. It must have been very difficult to lose your friend emotionally like that, especially since you were so close.

It is very hard to lose a person that you connect with, mostly because that is so hard to find in the first place. It's amazing, that with so many people on this planet, only a few can truly touch us.

Thanks for all of the support. I am glad I came here. :)

Kerri

Fibromyalgia since 2007

"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit."
 
Helen Keller


Jokat
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 278
   Posted 8/7/2009 6:40 AM (GMT -7)   
I am glad you came here too Kerri.
 
Jeanine? Really...
JoKat
 
Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us. {Earl Nightingale} 
Fibro since 2005


patsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 8/7/2009 12:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kerri,


I too lost a dear friend about a year ago. My problem was I really did not understand what had happened. Like Chutzie it damaged me deeply and I had to just shut it out. I now understand she has had many unfortunate things happen in her life. However, that is small comfort to me because at the time it cut so deeply.

All I can offer is to do your best to let it go, it is very hard. I knew I was ok with myself so that really helped. Also I think this fibro has made me very sensitive to things such as this. My coping mechanisms are definitely not what they used to be.

At any rate you have people here that really understand.

Patsie

Stari
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 8/7/2009 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Kerri,
Hi, do you know why your friend stopped being your friend? Have you talked him/her?
 


KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 8/7/2009 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks again, everyone.  It's a bit of a long story.  I was feeling quite emotional over it before, as it was still very fresh.  Thanks for letting me share when I was very down.
 
I will be ok.  It felt good to let it out.  I realized I do still have friends, a terrific family, a loving husband....and a great forum to come to! 
 
I am lucky to have had a close friend to be sad over. 
 

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