I have a personal question....
We all know how Fibro affects every area of our lives, including intimacy with our partner. I'm having difficulty figuring out a tactful way to get across to my husband that we need to "readjust" during intimacy, without being too direct about announcing my pain / discomfort (and ruining the mood) or without being too vague (and him not understanding that there is a problem).
I cannot be in one position for very long when I'm flaring, as certain joints completely give out on me or my muscles sieze up or ache to the point of extreme distraction. I've simply been moving to a different position without explaining anything- but I worry that it makes me appear "lazy", as it usually results in my husband picking up a lot of the slack.
So, how do you handle these issues? I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has this particular problem ;) and I'm curious if any of you have found an approach that keeps the mood where it belongs.
Thanks in advance for sharing. :)
Fibromyalgia since 2007
No, you are not the only person w/ this problem. From my personal experience, I would suggest that you bring up the subject at a quiet, private time when it's just the two of you BUT not THAT time. Maybe if you go out for a ride or such.
I have a problem w/ claustrophobia, which can be 'fun' at times, so I had to explain to my DH that it wasn't him, it was me. This was before I had a dx for FM and it was hard to define why this was causing me a big problem. I just try to find private time to let him know how things are w/ me. This way he doesn't get too many weird surprises at the wrong time. If you get my drift.
I need to move also, and now he understands. Things change from time to time, so we just try to go w/ the flow. I think that keeping the lines of communication open about everything is KEY to all aspects of the relationship.
Hope this helps a bit.
God bless. Alice.
Thank you all for sharing your stories with me. I really do appreciate it. It makes me feel very comfortable asking any kind of question on this forum. :)
I also appreciate your advice. So, it seems the consensus is....I should say something, preferably at a time when we are not in the bedroom, but during if necessary. If during, do so, then immediately express my enjoyment of our time to my husband, letting him know he is unbelievably sexy.
Sounds perfect! :) Thanks again, everyone.