Post Edited (vestabula) : 8/18/2009 7:12:25 AM (GMT-6)
Donna, I read your post earlier, but I had to go out and wasn't able to respond. My first thought was like Deb's. Since your sons don't live at home there don't see you each day to know the struggle you have w/ everything going on. My GM lived to just short of 89 yrs old and never used a cane. My DM is 90 yrs old now, a few yrs ago she had to use a quad cane and now is on a walker. At first it seemed strange to see her use a cane, this was a woman who walked uptown every day. She walked thru the mall, didn't slow down. The cane was very necessary but I looked at her and thought, she is getting older, it was a shock for me. But we just adjusted what she could do and what needed to be changed. When I was driving I would take her up to the door of the building, help her out, set up walker and get her to a bench till I parked the car. All while using my cane.
My DM has always been independent and I try to make it as easy for her to hold on to that. In so many ways it has been taken away from her, due to age and health. What she can do, she does, what she can't do, we take care of for her.
My children still live at home w/ us. They see what I can do and what is just too much. I know these past couple of yrs have been hard for them. They were used to Mom working, running the house, driving hither and yon, volunteering, taking them and GM wherever. Now, I need help. They help me and they help their 'G'ma'. They love her and will do anything for her.
Sometimes it is just hard to see your parents in that position, it brings your own mortality in view. Remember,you need the ticket to be able to do what you want to do, that is INDEPENDENCE.
A few wks ago, my DH and I went to the store, he parked close to the door. As I got to the door, I just ran out of steam. That patio furniture was just inside of the door and I HAD to sit for about 15 minutes, or I would have collapsed. This past wk end I walked for about 40 min w/ 2 breaks. It was glorious, but later my feet were swollen.
Do what you need to do to live your life, use the card as you need it, don't let anyone make you feel 'bad' for using it. Let those strangers roll the eyes. You have a valid card, the heck w/ them. They don't live in your body, you do.
God bless. Alice.
Alice...I am 63 years old and my grandfather just turned 106 this week. He lives by himself and still farms. My grandmother died two years ago and was 100. Neither one of them ever used a cane...and my grandfather has only been hospitalized twice in his life and both times were because he was dizzy...all it was was wax in his ears! I guess I just look at myself and think OMG. He could out run me to the mailbox! Happy for him though...but where are all those good genes??? LOL!
Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.