Feeling lonely...

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SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 8/21/2009 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm feeling a little lonely right now. It's weird, not having my hubby here. I am glad that he is working, and I am so proud of him. I am thankful that he has found a job. I really am. It takes some stress away. But I just feel a little lonely without him here. I am so used to him being around. Ever since we got together, he has always been around. It's weird not having him here. I just feel lonely. I know I am repeating myself, so I apologize for that. But, anyways. Since I was feeling lonely, I thought I might visit my fibro family.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Jhemi
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 8/21/2009 11:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like you need a hobby hon. Like reading or cross stitch if your hands will allow it. Or maybe some other type of crafting? Now that he's working you might be able to afford a simple and inexpensive hobby. There are crafts in Wal Mart and many craft stores. Or how about crossword puzzles...those are always nice. Hope you find a way to bide the time while he's away hon.

Keep smilin'

Jhemi

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 8/21/2009 11:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm a total bookworm. I love to read. But, for some reason, I just don't feel like reading. Maybe it's just that I am tired. I don't know. I do plan on getting some paints, brushes, and canvases. I have always loved to paint. I do some crocheting sometimes when my fingers allow it. It's weird, though. Whenever I read or crochet or things like that, my hubby is usually here doing something on the computer or something. Even when we are doing our own things, he is still here if I need him. Now he isn't.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17097
   Posted 8/21/2009 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, you will become somewhat accustomed to that.  My husband and I were both teachers when we got married so we were always together and I loved it!  Then, I left teaching and he went into a different field so I only saw him in the evenings. 
 
Yes, it does feel very strange but it will get better for you.  You will find things to keep you busy and keep your mind off his not being there.  I would love to fix something special for him for dinner or for dessert and so it was kind of a surprise to him because he wasn't there to see what I was doing.  That gave me something to look forward to...the look on his face.  :-)
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 8/21/2009 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, as time goes on you will find it gets easier. You and your hubby spent so much time
together, it is only natural that you are missing him. Sometimes it helps to plan things in
advance. Set up a schedule where you have activities to look forward to. Time passes more
quickly when you are doing something you enjoy.

I no longer work so the days are mine to do as I please. It was real strange to have the
house to myself. Somedays I hang out with friends or catch up with housework.

And like Sherrine, I like to surprise my hubby with a great meal when I can.

Hope your lonliness subsides

Robin
 
 possible MCTD, Raynauds, Fibromyalgia, Osteoporosis, Degenerative
 Disc Disease, Osteoarthritis, High Blood Pressure, Migranes and
 Pseudothrombocytopenia, biopsy shows a Scleroderma variant
 MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella, Boniva,Lisinopril, Folic Acid, Flexeril, and
 Vitamin Supplements


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 8/21/2009 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I know that eventually I will get used to it. Yesterday, I did really well with him being gone. Today I haven't felt the best, and it hit me that he isn't here. I know that some days will be better than others. Yesterday, I had a pizza ready for my hubby when he came home for his lunch break. I can't really do much cooking because it really hurts me, but I cook when I can. I love to bake. I am going to go to the store later and get a stick of butter so I can make cookies. I like doing that kind of thing.
I would go out and visit friends, but I really don't have any. I lost a lot of my friends after I had Alex because I was a mom and they weren't. Plus, I can't do too much of going up and down the stairs because my son is really heavy to me. He is thirty pounds now. And for someone who really isn't supposed to lift anything over ten, well, it seems pretty heavy. LOL.
I know I will get used to it eventually, but, right now, I am just really lonely. He'll be home soon, and then we will have most of the weekend together. I have to do laundry tomorrow, but, other than that, I just want to spend time with my hubby before I face a whole week of him not being here. I pray that I get used to it quickly, because I don't like feeling lonely.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


Brigid
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/23/2009 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   
I understand how lonliness can make things seem worse. I don't want to steal your thread; but, I wanted to share what I have written below:

My hubasnd left me for another woman three months ago and I have been feeling so completely alone. I have no support and no friends anymore. I just dont know how to get myself out into the world and meet friends when so much of my life is dealing with exhaustion and pain. Due to the stress of finances and the divorce I am in the middle of a chronic flare, although my meds are keeping it under control better than they normally would have. My family is not supportive and that is why I signed up here today. I feel as though depression is taking over and I need to make some connections soon. I find myself wanting to stay in bed all day and I know where that slippery slope leads. My kids are teenagers and always on the go, and, I am over 800 miles away from anyone who could help me. Any ideas for groups or activities I could try to join before things get worse for me?

puppylover
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 821
   Posted 8/23/2009 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, I know how you feel.  I just got back from taking my husband to the airport.  He'll be gone for 2 or more weeks.  He has been working out of town on and off again all this year.  We just celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary at the beginning of the month.  I live here alone with my dog when he is gone.  I keep pretty busy and the days go by pretty quick but I get lonesome.  My kids are all living away.  The closest one is about 2 hours away.  I am going to have lunch with him next week. 
 
I exercise everyday, play with my dog, training her too.  Reading and sudoku are my usual resting activities.  I've decided to start taking pictures again.  I use to do this all of the time-even developed them.  Now everything is digital and so easy.  The senior center near me had a class last year on Photo-shop.  If they do again this year I am going to take it. The scenery is so pretty where I live--lots to photograph.  My sons are all artistic and one of them keeps telling me I should try painting.  I envy you.  You should start painting again.  It is such a gift to be able to paint or draw--not all of us can do this.
 
Dinner is the worst time but I am fortunate to have a friend who is also by herself so we have dinner together most nights.  We try to eat healthy and I even try new recipes with her.  If I was alone I would probably make cinnamon toast or just have cereal. tongue
 
I hope you do get some paints and canvas, then tell us what you painted.
 
Puppylover
Fibromyalgia, arthritis in spine and hips, IBS, Raynaud's syndrome, hypertension
 
On the eighth day God created Golden Retrievers.


cbear
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 8/23/2009 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   
hi. im so lonely right now. my daughter went back to college and my husband went with her to take all her stuff. her college is about 8 hrs. away so its not like we can just drop by whenever we miss her badly or she misses us.(shes an only child).my fibro has been really bad latel so i didnt go. my bi-polar has been through the roof the last couple of weeks. my poor daughter bore the brunt of it, im afraid. ive apologized a million times and i know she forgives me but i cant seem to forgive myself. ive been watching happy dvds all day. maybe that would help you. when im down i always try to watch something funny. remember, laughter is the best medicine. im sorry you are so unhappy and that you have to be alone so much. i hope you have alot of friends to help you through the rough times. i agree a hobby would probably help, too. best wishes to you.

SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 8/23/2009 5:38 PM (GMT -7)   
My mom always tells me that when I am feeling down or when I am lonely or something that I should put in a happy movie and laugh. I thought it was interesting that you said that was what you were doing. I am sorry that you are lonely too. I know it has to be rough sending your only daughter off to college. My son is going to be two in October. It seems like only yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital and he was just sooo tiny. Now he is up to my hips. LOL.
I don't really have any friends. Not really. I mean, I have a few, but they are all busy with their own lives. I wish I could have someone come over every once in a while when my hubby is working, but I just don't have anyone. I lost touch with a lot of my old friends when I had my son. I had a kid and none of them did. Plus, with the fibro, it is hard to get out unless I really need to because I have to carry my 30 lb son up and down a flight of stairs, which is really rough on me.
I know I will adjust eventually to my hubby working, but it is going to take a little while.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 8/23/2009 8:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,

My hubby was away on a trip for about five days. He works from home, and this was only the second time in almost ten years of marriage we were apart more than a couple hours. So the lonliness really is hard. I think everyone here has great suggestions for you Sassy. I hope some of them will help. At first I just thought about my hubby all day, but that made me miss him more, so I tried to find activities to keep busy, and having my focus on other things did help.

Brigid, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. That is really a deep and painful experience and will take time to get through, but you will get through! I went through a time of signficant shaking in my life several years ago and moved back to my mom's at that time. She encouraged me to try to get outside for a little each day. I found that just having a goal of going for a walk each day helped keep me functional and get me out of bed etc. I would say that if you can set one or two small goals - things you do every day so that you have at least some routine, it will help. As best you can, try to retain some level of normalcy and routine - even if just in small areas - to keep grounded and in touch with the flow of daily life. And then give yourself permission to cry and retreat when you need to too. Just try and keep a balance between the two.

I sure hope you will feel better soon Brigid. The depression forum, if you feel you need it, is also an amazing place here at healingwell. Keep reaching out.

all the best, manyembers
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