Need a laugh? Look no more, I am here

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SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 8/29/2009 12:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Well I had to share this.... We all need a laugh!
 
 
Doctor's charting...
 
Collection of documentation statements actually found on patient's chars during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care proffessionals including some doctors at major hospitals.
 
 
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
 
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
 
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
 
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
 
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and a pet turtle who presently enrolled in a day care three times a week.
 
Bleeding started in the area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
 
She is numb from her toes down.
 
While in the emergency room she was examined, x rated and sent home.
 
The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
 
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
 
Patient was alert and unresponsive
 
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.



 
Smurfy Shadow/Desirèe 
DX: Wegener's Disease, Migraines, Diabetese Type II, PCOS, Lactose Intolerant, Benign Heart Murmer, Depression, Asthma, Asperger's Syndrome, Necrotizing Gramultous Inflamation in eye, A.D.D., Acid Reflux, Tumor Behind the Eye, Carpal Tunnel, Fibromyolgia, Clasterphobic, Arthritis
Medications:  Tri Nessa, Percocet, Metformin, Prilosec, Protonix, Zantac, Advair, Cingulair, Albuterol, Calcium + Vitamin D, Pro-Air, Pepcid, Rolaids, Zofran, Compuzeen, Refresh Plus Eye Drops  PRN: Epi-Pen, Albuterol Nebulizer, Benedryl
Undergoing Radiation Taking Lorazepam (Ativan) on Radiation Days


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 8/29/2009 12:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. I needed that. We are having major drama and a good laugh is always nice.
Sue

gonuts
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 8/29/2009 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   
ahhhhh!!! that was funny. My daughter 14 yrs old laughed at these too. Thanks for the laugh that was well needed wink Laura
Cervical spine surgery 2004, C-section 1986, Cholecystectomy 1999, Thoracic and Lumbar injury 2000. Anxiety/depression 2008. Fibromyalgia 2009, Thyroidectomy 2008. Degenerative disc disease. IBS. Asthma, Rheumitoid Arthritis, Sacroillitis, Scolylosis, disc bulge in L5/S1.possible ankylosing spondylitis. Meds: Lisinophil, xoponex, symbocort, pulmocort, troponal, vitamin 2000 D, Vitamin B complex, Hydrocodone, Tylonal Arthritis, Cymbalta.prednisone and Lyrica


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 8/29/2009 12:54 PM (GMT -7)   
This was hilarious! Are these really true? Some of them seem too outrageous to be true. But, either way, I laughed, and that was the whole point, right? Thanks for this. I needed a good laugh.
'Cause when push comes to shove
you taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break
'cause it's all you can take.
On your knees you look up
decide you've had enough.
You get mad.
You get strong.
Wipe your hands
shake it off.
Then you stand.
 
-"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
 
 


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 8/29/2009 1:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Desiree,

How did you manage to get some of my previous doctors' documents?


Robin
 
 possible MCTD, Raynauds, Fibromyalgia, Osteoporosis, Degenerative
 Disc Disease, Osteoarthritis, High Blood Pressure, Migranes and
 Pseudothrombocytopenia, biopsy shows a Scleroderma variant
 MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella, Boniva,Lisinopril, Folic Acid, Flexeril, and
 Vitamin Supplements


DreamspinnerCheryl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 8/29/2009 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I've seen some doozies in my time as a hospital nurse. My favorite had to the the negative prostate exam of the middle aged female patient. No, I couldn't make that up. Oh, and it's always interesting to read that the nurse on the previous shift reported plus three pedal pulses bilaterally in the amputee......

KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 8/29/2009 6:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I swear, when I first started reading this, I thought you were suffering from Fibro-Fog & it was causing you to make errors...so it took me a while to get it! :-)

Kerri

Fibromyalgia since 2007

"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit."
 
Helen Keller


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 8/29/2009 9:32 PM (GMT -7)   
It's a shame they don't teach English and writing in college or medical school...lol

Chutzie
Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)


DreamspinnerCheryl
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 8/29/2009 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I get the coolest mental image r/e the eyes rolling around the room....very Monty Python!

Dagger
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 8/29/2009 11:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I took a quiz on my insurance company's website. It said I was at moderate risk for prostate cancer. Since I've been female all my life, this was a shocker. Turns out the insurance company had me listed as a male and they wouldn't change it until my employer reported that I was a female.

When I asked our Human Resources dept to fix the records, they wanted legal proof that I had changed my gender. By this point, I offered to come down and show them but they decided to believe me since they had me listed as married to a man. It actually took me over 2 weeks to change my gender.

The phone calls and emails were actually very funny. My co-workers asked for the daily update on my gender change. We all celebrated when I became a female again.

SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 8/31/2009 12:28 AM (GMT -7)   
OMG Dagger.....that is soo funny. Robin, I sweet talked your doctors ****. As for the medical records *coughs* wasnt kidding when I said I had medical training ****. I have access to different sites for funny things like that. I knew we all needed a laugh LOL
 
Smurfy Shadow/Desirèe 
DX: Wegener's Disease, Migraines, Diabetese Type II, PCOS, Lactose Intolerant, Benign Heart Murmer, Depression, Asthma, Asperger's Syndrome, Necrotizing Gramultous Inflamation in eye, A.D.D., Acid Reflux, Tumor Behind the Eye, Carpal Tunnel, Fibromyolgia, Clasterphobic, Arthritis
Medications:  Tri Nessa, Percocet, Metformin, Prilosec, Protonix, Zantac, Advair, Cingulair, Albuterol, Calcium + Vitamin D, Pro-Air, Pepcid, Rolaids, Zofran, Compuzeen, Refresh Plus Eye Drops  PRN: Epi-Pen, Albuterol Nebulizer, Benedryl
Undergoing Radiation Taking Lorazepam (Ativan) on Radiation Days

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