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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 9/3/2009 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I got a notice in the mail that I have my MRI booked, for... wait for it... November 23! My doctor wants to see if there is anything going up against my trigeminal nerve causing my pain. I shouldn't complain about the lenght of time, at least I get medical care covered (I live in Canada). But I am very thankful that my pain is under control again, I just feel it in the background. I don't know if it's because the amitriptyline was raised, or it is just being quiet on its own. I did go to a forum that has TN to ask some questions of its members. They said not to put too much store on the MRI, as very often nothing will show up.

Tell me something though. Do you feel at times like you are defined by your pain? I know this sounds really strange, even sick. And believe me, I never want to feel the kind of pain in my face again like when I had those attacks. But even my crushing/ boring feeling by the temples is much better, even gone at times. I had it for so long, it was a part of me, that I feel really weird when it's gone, like something is missing from me. Is this a common reaction to chronic pain? Please tell me yes, or I'll feel like some kind of masochist! confused I told you it was weird rolleyes
possible fibro and trigeminal neuralgia
50 mgs amitriptyline

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17055
   Posted 9/3/2009 12:03 PM (GMT -6)   

I'm sorry you have to wait so long for the MRI but at least you have it scheduled now.

As far as your feelings go, I don't think you are defined by your pain.  I think that you are so used to it that, when it stops or is better, it catches your attention.  When you suffer from chronic pain, you learn to accept it and move on.  Then, when it stops, it takes you back!  I just really enjoy those times when the pain lets up.  That's another thing about know it waxes and wanes and when you are absolutely miserable, you know you will have better days ahead.


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 9/3/2009 12:30 PM (GMT -6)   

It is good that you have a MRI scheduled, hopefully they can find out what is going on
with your trgeminal nerve.

When we suffer chronic pain day after day, it does become a part of ourlives, but we are
not our illness. I think in a way we build up some tolerance to the everyday pains, we
still feel the pain but are somewhat used to tolerating it, When there is no pain, we
really take notice. We know something is differant. I try to enjoy it while it lasts and
try not to go hog wild with too many activities. I have caused myself a few flares doing

Do I feel defined by pain? Sometimes, I can be a pain in the a**. Chuckle. Chuckle.

ALL kidding aside, excruciating pain is a horrible thing to live with, and is physically,
mentally and emotionally draining , but we are not our pain, pain is horrible and a
sympton of our illnesses. We are people who live with pain.

Hoping everyone has a pain - free day!


 possible MCTD, Raynauds, Fibromyalgia, Osteoporosis, Degenerative
 Disc Disease, Osteoarthritis, High Blood Pressure, Migranes and
 Pseudothrombocytopenia, biopsy shows a Scleroderma variant
 MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella, Boniva,Lisinopril, Folic Acid, Flexeril, and
 Vitamin Supplements

Post Edited (crazykitty) : 9/3/2009 11:33:10 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 9/4/2009 3:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know if I feel defined by my pain, but I definitely do have an awareness if it is missing.  I think most healthy people notice when they do have pain ("I have a headache today," "My knee is bothering me," etc.) 
I always have this weird awareness thing come over me if I ever don't have pain.  This sometimes (emphasis on the "sometimes") happens to me first thing in the morning when I've just awakened and haven't moved or gotten up yet.  I sometimes realize that NOTHING hurts.  It's a really strange, although welcome, feeling.  I ususally lie there as long as I can and stretch it out.  It's almost like the weightless feeling you get when you are swimming.  But, if I lie there long enough, I will get stiff and need to roll over, and then something will start to hurt.
I don't really miss the pain, but I do have an accute awareness of when it is missing (if that makes sense :-) ).
Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
Fibromyalgia, 2 back surgeries, Meniere's Disease, 30+ kidney stones, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Allergies, Endometriosis, Heart Arrythmia, Myofascial Pain, TMJ, Bi-lateral sacroiliitis.

MT Lady
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 9/4/2009 4:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Gosh, having to wait that long for the MRI is awful, but I'm glad you at least are able to get one. Hopefully in the meantime, you've been able to get some medication to help with the pain. Chronic severe pain is debilitating and very depressing. As much as I have tried to remain upbeat, it just doesn't seem to work that way on most days. I know I've been such a drag for my husband to come home to. I've even said to him "you probably hate coming home to me" and of course, he denies it, but geesh, I don't think I'd like to come home to me, the way I've been, lol. In any case, I hope the time flies by for you and you get some answers.
gentle hugs

Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.

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