my day can only improve

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mamanan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 9/4/2009 9:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I woke up this morning at 4:30 from my facial pain. I couldn't get back to sleep until after 6, between my legs, hips, back and face hurting. Plus, I felt wide awake, kind of odd as I have been getting decent sleep since my amitriptyline was raised over 20 mg. Ok, whatever, I'm not going to let this ruin my day. My fibro pain is getting better as the day wears on, wish I could say the same for my face. I'm scared, but trying not to dwell on it. So I went grocery shopping and was having a good time of it, since I only had the youngest with me... so much easier than doing it with 4. I love school, lol. It was busy, so there were lineups for all the cashes. I didn't want to block the flow of traffic by the registers, so I stood on an angle. A big jerk is behind me, talking to his wife in line at the cash one over from me. He says in a big gruff voice, very rudely, "well, where do you want me to go? Look at her, I can't even tell which line she's in!". This was all said in French, which I can understand perfectly well, thank you very much. I turned to set him straight, explain that I didn't want to block the flow of people still shopping adn he didn't have to be so rude. I opened my mouth, and the anxiety poured into me. I looked like a fish I'm sure, opening and closing my mouth dumbly. So I turned back to my line, ready to unload, without saying a word. I started shaking so badly, almost dropped everything I picked up. Tears pricked at my eyes adn I could hardly catch a breath. I wanted to run so badly! I made it through, my head down the whole time, feeling like complete dirt, then had to drive home (1/2 hour away) still in the midst of an attack.

Ok, there are a lot of things that fibro has taken. But does it also have to take my dignity?
Pity post over. Thanks for reading. (((HUGS)))
possible fibro and trigeminal neuralgia
50 mgs amitriptyline


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17094
   Posted 9/4/2009 10:00 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh, Mamanan, that's horrible.  You are like me.  You don't like confrontations.  I tell people off great...in front of a mirror!  smilewinkgrin    You wanted to tell him off but yet you didn't want the confrontation so you turned back and the anxiety kicked in.  Do that now!  Go to a mirror and tell that fool off.  Say everything you wanted to say to him..and more... and you will feel better!  You shouldn't feel like dirt!  You didn't do anything wrong.  YOU were the considerate one...not that jerk. 

You just have to understand where the anxiety came from so, if it ever happens again, your anxiety won't be as bad.  You handled it and made it back home safely so you deserve a big pat on the back!  yeah    Congratulations!

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 9/4/2009 10:34 AM (GMT -7)   
mamnan, I feel your pain, I get very emotional when I am confronted too. He was wrong
maybe he was having a bad day, or maybe he is just a plain jerk.

I tend to replay those type of experiances over an over in my mind and get angry. And
if I calm down and analyze the experiance I realize, I have no control over other people's
words or actions. but I can try to control how I react to them. It is not always easy for me.


I hope you are feeling better

Robin
 
 possible MCTD, Raynauds, Fibromyalgia, Osteoporosis, Degenerative
 Disc Disease, Osteoarthritis, High Blood Pressure, Migranes and
 Pseudothrombocytopenia, biopsy shows a Scleroderma variant
 MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella, Boniva,Lisinopril, Folic Acid, Flexeril, and
 Vitamin Supplements


upbeat
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 9/4/2009 10:58 AM (GMT -7)   
What a jerk - I always tell myself the other person must have a horrible life to be so miserable! You need to remind yourself how strong a person you are, most people would be in bed with the pain you endure and you are out grocery shopping - with a child (which everyone knows makes it take at least twice as long  smilewinkgrin  !)
 
Hope you feel better! :-)
Fibro dx 2004, RLS, raynauds


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 9/4/2009 11:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Mamanan, I wish you would have been able to tell the jerk off in French cause I'm sure he only said it thinking no one would understand what he said. devil
 
I use to not be able to speak my mind when I was younger but the older and crankier I get the less problem I have. turn
 
You were the better person and showed some class and he didn't. I'm sorry it gave you such a panic attack though, not fair. Please don't dwell on it, I tend to do that when I regret something I say or don't say so I know how it plays over and over in your mind. Let it go and may his bed be full of bedbugs tonight. tongue
 
Besides, I bought groceries for many, many years, DH does most of it now, and that is common courtesy to turn your cart to the side so you don't block the isle.
 
I really hope the face pain goes away soon.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


mamanan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 9/4/2009 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I do hate confrontation. I get lots of symptoms of anxiety, but mostly, I get so angry that it is hard to think straight. But I didn't feel that today. I knew I was in the right, I wasn't going to confront, him, just state my case and move on. That stupid anxiety kicked in so fast I didn't know what hit me! I know in my head those feelings are false. But my heart thinks otherwise. I just don't know how to stop this thing. I've never had to deal with anxiety to this extent before. I find it very confusing and difficult to accept.

Sherrine, you said that once I find out where the anxiety comes from, it won't be as bad. I find that I have no control over it, and that is scary in itself. Hmm, maybe my anxiety is worse b/c I don't think I can control it? I think I can, but I don't really believe it yet. Something to think about. I don't know, all I do know is I don't like it! And I don't like that it doesn't go away when I tell it to.

Marlee, when I turned back, I started speaking to dd in French. I hope he heard me, but I think he had rejoined his wife by then :S
possible fibro and trigeminal neuralgia
50 mgs amitriptyline

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