New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 9/17/2009 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I fail to understand my parents.
It seems I can't mention being upset without stressing my mom out so much she nearly ha sa heart attack.
I thought the fact that we both have health problems was going to bring us closer together, but it's seeming that she just wants to have a "whose condition is worse" contest.

His Lobster
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 9/17/2009 11:37 PM (GMT -7)   
As a mom, I don't think I would want health problems to be the thing that brought me closer to my kids...I know I do this to my kids all the time (probably because I don't want them to think they have it all that bad, or because the whining makes me nuts lol) Kids: My stomach hurts, I'm hungry. Me: I haven't even eaten breakfast yet (it's noon) and you've already had yours plus a snack, You're not starving, go do your school.
*Maybe* she's just trying to make you feel better by telling you that she's worse...like you could say to yourself, "well, at least I don't have that". It's really hard to know why parents do what they do sometimes...even if you're the parent in question. I know that my mom is now behaving in some of the same ways my grandmother used to (not the good behavior either-for instance; lashing out about *nothing* and then feeling remorse, but doing it again an hour later) and she's aware of it, but doesn't know why or what to do about it. It sucks, and I'm sorry you're going through it, but hopefully you can see past the personal affront you're dealing with to her love for you (even if she's having a hard time showing you at the moment), and find a way to support each other equally in your trials as well as your joys.

watashi
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 84
   Posted 9/18/2009 12:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Both me and my mom are sick, though very similar and yet so different. Now that I am no longer a child and haven't been for way to long for once I understand... Well kind of it is hard to say what motivates people to be sicker then you, faster, or better... sometimes I think maybe it is all because while in pain you are saddened and just want it to be about me. I used to have those days and still do for we are all only human. Maybe some answers lie in trying to view the whole situation just as if you were an on looker, everyone has a reason for whatever it is they do, even if we never are able to grasp why. I remember wanting it to be about me in the start, and yet sometimes it is about me. And other it's about her, and finally after 30 years I find a kind of peace when I take care of her instead of me... Growing up we never really had any kind of bond unless money counts (it wasn't enough for me) so first chance i got i came to the usa to study and live with the aunt i had always loved best. now that my aunt has passed on, I only have the mother left to lean on and to hold up also. The bond took years to be repaired, but in the end even though there is still the mine is worse then yours (that goes both ways) I find without her the journey would be without love hope light laughter pain and sorrows all of which i find are why we stick it out to both be able to simply enjoy just being...

WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 9/18/2009 12:46 AM (GMT -7)   
My mother seems to be convinced that I am trying to get her to support me financially and take care of me.
I'm 25 and married ... so I don't need it!

watashi
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 84
   Posted 9/18/2009 1:56 AM (GMT -7)   
EEEkkkk! I would be upset too, I'm 31 and still fighting with her not to clean up my house... I am well on my own but she insists and drives me nuts somedays. It is sad i think that it may be about that to her, at least for me all i really want is someone to understand. Not support me financially or baby me.

WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 9/18/2009 2:05 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL ... well the original plan was for me to move back in with them for a little while and help them out with the cooking and cleaning and such until my husband and I could get our own place.

watashi
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 84
   Posted 9/18/2009 2:38 AM (GMT -7)   
I put my mother back on a plane to japan today... kinda relieved, yet this is the first night i have spent alone so being the wuss i am the noises scare me or maybe it was the bloody anime.... oh how i wish i had hit one day overnight on amazon this morning =p

WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 9/18/2009 4:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Japan is great! I love it here.

What is with all the parents and kids having problems with each other recently????? I know at least 3 people on this forum are having family issues right now. Is there something in the water?

Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 9/18/2009 8:10 PM (GMT -7)   
speaking of which . . . we had our family meeting and people have pitched in the last couple of days.

Sue

dianna30
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 9/19/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
WhiteChocChip,
 
I am sorry that you and your mom are not getting along, but I have to tell you that I was kind of glad to see your post. 
 
I have MS and my mom has fibromyalgia.  She has been living with me for two months while she seeks medical treatment and she is driving me crazy!  I have been having trouble with constant and widespread muscle and joint pain for several months, and the pain just keeps getting worse and worse.  My mom keeps diminishing what I am going through, insisting that it is just my slipped discs acting up, but my doctor thinks I might have fibro and is sending me to see a rheumatologist.  My mom complains about her pain ALL DAY LONG, but if I make one comment about my own pain, she tells me to quit complaining.
 
I know that my mom is in a lot of pain (she has a very severe case of fibro) but I don't understand how she can treat me this way.  I am under a lot of pressure right now with a very full plate and lots of health problems, and instead of supporting me, I feel like my mom is just one more pound of pressure. 
 
Sorry, I really needed to vent.  I am going to see the rheumatologist on Monday, so hopefully after that I will know more about what is going on with me. 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12).

http://diannaschnabel.blogspot.com/

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 11:12 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,153 posts in 301,184 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151309 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, waterfall79.
325 Guest(s), 13 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Lyme Yes or No ?, Psilociraptor, Dsimms, Scaredy Cat, Starlight*, magoo2, ChickNorris, maria2016, Fairwind, stacy1263, brucen36, trumpet123, Tall Allen


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer