Mothers and narcotics...

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SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 9/26/2009 7:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, I'm having issues with my mom yet again about the fact that I'm on a narcotics pain pill. She said that my dad being on pain pills was how all his addiction issues started. (My dad is a recovered crack addict.) My mom thinks that I'm going to end up like my dad for some reason. *sighs* She just doesn't understand. If I could cope without my pain meds, then I would. I don't like having to take them, but I do. I hate that she is comparing me to my dad. There are plenty of people who are on pain meds and they aren't addicted to them. I mean, if I went off them, I would go through withdrawal, but that is only because I have been on them so long. I just don't know how to make her understand. She has a mind of metal when it comes to stuff like this. I understand her concerns, but she is always so pushy, and she plays the "I just want Alex to be taken care of" bit. I hate that. She acts like I am not going to take care of my son because I'll be too busy being on pain meds. I don't take my pills to get high or anything. I just take what I need to keep the pain at a minimum. I hate that she doesn't understand. I just don't know what to do about it. I wish she could live with my pain for just one week. Then maybe she would at least understand a little bit. *sighs* I'm just so frustrated. I don't know how to make her understand. I just want a good relationship with my mom, but I am tired of her trying to control my life and tell me how I should deal with my pain and take care of my son. I'm sick and tired of it. But I never really say anything because I don't want there to be a rift between us.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 9/26/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sassy. I am sorry you are having issues with your mom again.

The fact is you know you are taking your meds for pain relief and not recreationally. Your mom
is going to believe what she wants to. Maybe your mom is a worrier by nature and always thinks
the worst is going to happen. My dad is like that, and no amount of convincing him about certain
things will change him. I try to avoid subjects that I know he will be disagreeable.

The important thing is that you know what you need for relief and you are acting responsible.
In your posts, I have seen love and concern for Alex. You are a good mom.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 9/26/2009 8:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, your mother is obviously afraid you inherited whatever made your dad a drug addict and being the mother and grandmother of older children I know you never stop worrying about what they may or maynot have inherited. Have you taken her to one of your doc apps and had him to explain to her why you need these meds and if he thought you were a drug addict he wouldn't be rxing them to you???
 
Since we don't have magic powers to make others feel what we feel she may never know how much you hurt. I would try the doc app with you and then try to avoid conversations with her about you taking narcotics. I can see both sides of this problem cause once a mom always a mom. Hopefully she will see in time that you are not like your dad and you are a good mom to Alex.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
Vit D/calcium


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17095
   Posted 9/26/2009 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   

Sassy, explain to her that there is a difference between addiction and dependency.  You are dependent on your meds and are under a doctor's watchful eye.  If your doctor is a good doctor, he/she is monitoring you and will not give you enough of these drugs that you would become addicted.  BUT the key is that you take the medication exactly as prescribed.  If you are running out of meds before the end of the month, that is definitely not good.  But, if you take your meds exactly as prescribed, or take less than is prescribed, you should be fine. 

This explanation might ease her mind.  She just loves you so much and doesn't want to see you hurt.  My brother was an alcoholic and destroyed himself and hurt all those around him and my heart sinks whenever I see any of my children have a drink!  That's what love does to you.

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 9/26/2009 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Pain meds are tools, just like automobiles. We use cars to get around. We need pain meds to get around. You are dependent on your car but you are not ADDICTED to it. Explain it to your mom that way and maybe she will get it.
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


beanley
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 124
   Posted 9/26/2009 12:44 PM (GMT -7)   
your mom is a piece of work! she's scared to death and trying to control everything.

google pain management to find a clear explanation of therapuetic physical dependence vs self destructive addiction and abuse.

google invisible disability to find a clear explanation of how someone can be sick and need meds even tho they don't look sick.

and finally tell her to lay off the emotional blackmail about taking care of your son. sheesh!
fibro, migraines, ibs


Splendidlife
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 9/26/2009 1:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy...
 
You can't "make" her understand, but you can suggest she find her own answers. Perhaps you can lovingly point her in the direction of a few local al-anon meetings. Yes... As a Drug and Alcohol Counselor, I've seen many pain management patients end up severely addicted. However, millions of others on pain management have not. Just as you and all of us here do, your mom has her own path of learning. Perhaps one big lesson for her may be in learning to let go of trying to control.
 
You might want to mention to her that added stress worsens your condition and that you're practicing letting go. Perhaps she'll take the hint and follow suit.
 
Hugs,


Rachel
"You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."
- R. Buckminster Fuller


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 9/26/2009 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I like that Sherrine...."that's what love does to you".....so very true when it comes to our loved ones.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
Vit D/calcium


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 9/26/2009 4:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I understand my mom's concerns. I really do. That's why I didn't argue with her. Besides, my husband would let me know if he thought I was becoming an addict instead of just dependent on my pain meds. I know my mom loves me, and I know she loves Alex and that all she wants is just for us to be safe and happy and healthy. I love her. I just wish she would lay off a little. I'm trying to not let it get to me.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/26/2009 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
You have already gotten all great advice from peeps so I will just add that I hope you will talk to her and use some of it see how it works out then .Plz let us know how you make out
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........co Moderator Crohns
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or You Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 9/26/2009 9:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy,

Do you think it would help her more if she not only got some information on pain management, but got some information on fibromyalgia too?

Just wondering

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 9/27/2009 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
You have already gotten some great advice. I just wanted to let you know, she has no rights as far as your son is concerned. Just wanted to give you some comfort there.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*
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