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AkinaChan
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 10/14/2009 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry every one I just need to rant.

I know my mom says she understands my daily pain and struggle to do things, but I really don't think she actually does. Just things she says and things she does. I know she loves me and supports me and tries to understand but sometimes she just acts so upsetting.

I'm not doing well today, in pain and I'm really tired and my brain is just not functioning, and she's telling me not to use the fibro fog as and excuse, which I never do! I don't like to make excuses I just need her to understand that sometimes processing information is really hard for me.

So I'm all upset now and she's not even trying to see if I'm ok, or if there's anything else going on. I'm so tired of having to explain my daily problems like this is something new.

Sorry, I just needed to rant.
"Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested" - Francis Bacon
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder" - Unknown

------
Diagnosed with: ADHD, Raynaud's Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Asthma, Hypoglycemia, heart murmur, knee caps that are too high, reoccurring kidney stones, multiple food allergies, multiple drug allergies, multiple environmental allergies, possible underlying arthritis


Lindaloo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 10/14/2009 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry Akina that you are so frustrated at the moment. The fibro fog can be very annoying and is very real. It has affected my life and the last 8 years of my life has really impacted my daily living as well.

Having said that, I suggest that you try to be patient with Mom. Some people will "get it" and some never will. Just do the best you can and try to have patience with Mom, cause as you say, she has been there for you. I know I love my daughter but sometimes I know I annoy the heck out of her too with my personality as well.

But you were right to come here and vent and rant. That's what we are here for and I welcome you as a new member, since I haven't had the pleasure of doing that yet. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. We do care!

God bless and have a low pain day.

Lindaloo
Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
Linda


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 10/14/2009 8:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Akina!

I too am so sorry that this is affecting your relationship with your mother. I'm assuming she lives fairly close, or with you? or is in contact regularly? That makes is extra hard on you I'm sure. Just a couple of thoughts and comments form my experience...

One thing children desperately want and need is acceptance from their parents. And it doesn't seem to matter what age we are, we still want our parent's approval. Even in my 50's I wanted my mom to be proud of me a approve of what I was doing in my life, especially because there were times when she was critical of my choices. WHY do we do this??? Maybe it's an ingrained part of being human but it's how we are. Some folks hide it pretty well, especially guys (my opinion there especially ;-)). One thing I chose to do with my mother was not to get into detail or tell her all about my healthcare problems. She didn't know about the fibromyalgia...my choice. She worried about me because of the diabetes and UC and other side dishes and she always thought my pain was from my back. Well, some of it was, but the other I chose not to tell her because I knew it would be upsetting...plus it would be all over the family within a couple of days. It's too late for you to choose this route but something to think about for the future.

Also, if I were you the comment your mother made would have hurt me to the bottom of my soul. That "fibro fog" excuse?? No matter how much someone tries or cares, no one can understand what we live through unless they have it too. IMHO, that was a very hurtful thing to say to you. Maybe she said it because she is frightened about your 'disorder', or because she has no idea what it is REALLY like, or maybe because she mistakenly feels you are getting way to much attention. I don't know your mother and I have no idea, but this is what I see from your description.

Do you want to do something about it? Or just learn to live with it? It sounds like mom needs some serious education about fibromyalgia...like she's a non-believer. Please take her along on your doctor appoints. Tell your doctor up front what the situation is and ask if you bring mom along that please explain what's going on with you and especially the fibro fog. Coming from the doc should make a big difference. Plus, you are not attacking her this way.

I do wish you luck and hope you can find some peace between you and mom. It hurts not to have her support. Good luck and keep posting...
Chutz
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.
Richard L. Evans

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)


AkinaChan
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 10/14/2009 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much to you both ^^

I talked to mom, she apparently didn't mean it the way it sounded, sometimes here we forget to watch how we say things. So I'm going to be more upfront with my parents, I can't just assume they know I feel bad.

I still live with my parents, here in cali it's hard to live on your own because it's expensive, and I still havn't found a job, and i'm on my mom's insurance which is a teachers insurance and awesome. And we're honest in my family about what's going on, she tries, but sometimes we get on eachothers last nerve.

Thanks for the support, I'm trying to get through to her more on exactly what it's like for me every day and i'm hoping she'll get it.
"Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested" - Francis Bacon
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder" - Unknown

------
Diagnosed with: ADHD, Raynaud's Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Asthma, Hypoglycemia, heart murmur, knee caps that are too high, reoccurring kidney stones, multiple food allergies, multiple drug allergies, multiple environmental allergies, possible underlying arthritis


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 10/15/2009 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
AkinaChan it has to be so hard for normals to understand all the facets of fibro. I try to put myself back before fibro and look at it that way and I wouldn't have understood all the crazy parts of this. We have to be patient with the normals. Fibromites live in a world that only they can truly understand.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
Vit D/calcium

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