I'm on my way! Do you have a bundt pan? I need one and can't find mine. If you do, please set it aside for me. I'll be there in a few hours.
I'm coming with Eddie the Claw and Toe Jam. They will eat anything from your fridge that is oozing, expired for a year or more or is green with mold. Got any of that? How are you fixed for extra heating pads? I am sure you have bought two or three on sale, forgot, and put them someplace special. Toe Jam LOVES anything shiney so if you're looking to unload jars of thumb tacks or roofing nails, he will take those off your hands also.
Do you have a chain saw? Don't ask...I have something very special of the hubby's I want to whack into a million pieces as I am sick of tripping over it. See you soon...now don't turn off the lights and pretend you are sleeping when you hear us pull up in our 1972 VW Bus....
Miss Marlee...Do you want 'the cannon' again...huh? Seriously. Here I sit in your driveway after driving all night with two so called men who had to scrape up every piece of road kill we passed...you know...for a 'snack'...not to mention the exhaust fumes and having to listen to Toe Jam play banjo music all night long...
I see all the cars of all your other volunteers so I KNOW you're in there. open the &^%&*@ door or I swear...you'll get The Cannon.
BTW...all of your lawn furniture is in the back of the van. Wrought iron...very very nice. Thanks.
Hey...who took the shoes off my feet while I was sleeping...huh? These attractive babies were hard to come by...Fibromite Shoes. You are all supposed to be stealing...I mean 'cleaning out' Marlee's stuff. Bad fibromites....bad bad fibromites.
Sorry about the wine, Marlee. The boys don't drink it...they use it to disinfect their toe nail fungus. But I will speak to them as I am sure you have some inexpensive Jack Daniel's that they can soak their 'dogs' in. They did clean out the goulash for you though, didn't they? And hardly any diarrhea accidents at all!
I still want to know who stole my shoes. Owie...it hurts to walk barefoot through all this stuff.
Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.