How has fibro changed what you do for the holidays???

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Marlee2
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   Posted 11/20/2009 7:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I use to be the Martha Steward type, baked breads, rolls, even made pretty wreaths out of bread, made all kinds of candies (even molded my own filled candy) and an assortment of cookies. I would make up trays of all my goodies for my friends and neighbors. House was always spotless and decked out for the holidays. Never thought about energy I always seemed to have plenty and would work up till Christmas Eve. On Christmas morning we would have my homemade carmel nut rolls after opening gifts.
 
Now, make very few goodies and what I do make are simple like Rice Krispie treats and Texas pecans and I buy the rest. If my neighbors and friends want goodies let them make them themselves. Clean what I can and what doesn't get cleaned hide or cover up. Pace myself as not to overdo and end up in a flare. Everything is based on my energy level. Be very careful and use hand santizer by the gallons trying not to get sick before Dec 26th. Watch every step, don't want to fall and end up in the ER on Christmas Eve like I did last year with a hurt rib. Watch what I eat as not to upset any of the many digestive issues I have. Decorate the house??? I will be doing good to get the tree up. We are having Christmas with the kids and grandkids on the 19th and we will have our traditional pizza.
 
I do have Thanksgiving at my house for the whole family but everyone has to bring a dish or two. My one sister always makes several things which helps me a lot.
 
I was thinking about this yesterday, how things have changed since I got fibro. But you know, the root of the holidays hasn't changed at all, we still have plenty to eat and we have just as good of time without all the fuss I use to make.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
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patsie
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 11/20/2009 8:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Marlee,

You know I just loved what you just wrote. I am your clone and won't go into that further. Trust me when I say my holidays were works of art. But what hit me is how great your holidays still sound. Yes, FM is the reason but your family is all around you and you have the best spirit. I always notice that.

I wish I had a sister coming with or without a side dish. I have my son who is the "bestest" in the world to his mama. I count that blessings and guess I take so very much little for granted now.

Just fixed the BEST no bake orange pecan cookie. Never would have done that pre-FM but you know it is delicious.

Best,
Patsie

crazykitty
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Date Joined Jul 2009
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   Posted 11/20/2009 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   
I used to really get into deck'n the halls. My husband would tease me because I would
have greenery swags and red bows draped throughout the house. Now I keep it simple.
No longer do I bake assorted varieties of cookies, I might bake a couple. It has been a
tradition for years that I make fudge on Christmas eve's day. I make about 7lbs. and
share it with friends and family, my husband has to help stir, just can't do it by myself.
 
We aren't able to make it back to WI for Thanksgiving to be with family. We are having
dinner at our house for friends who also won't be with their families this year. I will
have alot of help. Our friends are like family they will pitch in and help and bring side
dishes.
 
The holidays are now easier and much less stressful. Enjoying my loved ones is now
my priority.
 
Hugs
 
Robin

Jhemi
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 11/20/2009 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Me too Crazykitty...I would put up all the pretty garlands and decorate our home with a huge tree. I made fudge for all my friends and plenty for home and family for the holidays. I'd buy pretty containers and send it out each year. I do wish I could still do that..

sugarchic9985
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 11/21/2009 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, this year we are breaking the no Christmas stuff until after Thanksgiving rule. I always insist on decking out the house, and especially this year as it is our son's first real Christmas. But I have been so miserable lately, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be the one to do it. I'm having a really good day so far today, so we decided we are going to go ahead and put up the decorations because I'm not sure when the next time I will feel like doing it will be.

I haven't exactly figured out how we are going to work out Christmas this year, but something is going to have to give. We normally get up around 6 to get to my parents at 8 to open gifts and then go to my aunt's at 10 and then get to his mom's around 1. With a one year old this year, I don't know how I will be able to do all that.

Sherrine
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   Posted 11/21/2009 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   
 Marlee and Patsie, I'm the same.  I used to do 14 different types of Christmas cookies and make platters and pass them out to neighbors and friends as gifts.  Of course I made the homemade candies, Ruldolph chocolate suckers, peanut brittle, and chocolate covered English toffee.  Now?  Nothing!  I'll buy the pecan wedding cookies in the store to have with tea.
 
Also, I don't do Christmas anymore at my home.  I used to do Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter at my house but, two years ago I stopped that.  My relatives are in their 30's and 40's and never volunteered to do anything and I was killing myself to have family gatherings.  I finally said I'll do Thanksgiving but not Christmas.  My cousin stepped up to the plate and volunteered to do Christmas and my neice now does Easter.  If I hadn't said anything,  I would still be doing all of them!  shocked   But, as Marlee said, the root of the holidays has remained and we all have a great time even though we are now sharing the work.
 
Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
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Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
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God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Dagger
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Date Joined Apr 2008
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   Posted 11/21/2009 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Sugarchic,

Once you have a kid - it's time to start changing all the traditions. When my kids were small, we turned Christmas into a week long event. Christmas morning was off limits - we didn't go anywhere so the kids could enjoy their presents and not feel rushed. We visited one side of the family on Christmas eve in the afternoon and opened gifts. We visited the other side of the family late in the afternoon on Christmas day. We either visited others during the week or had an open house party in the afternoon the Saturday before Christmas.

You'll go crazy trying to please everyone and knock yourself into a flair. Start now while your kid is small to remove the craziness of cramming everything into one day.

You can always start talking about changes for next year during this holiday to give everyone a chance to accept that you will be doing things a bit differently next year.

When my daughter had a baby, we asked how they wanted to handle the holidays and we worked out a schedule that makes everyone happy. It is subject to change as our granddaughter gets older and because we talk about it, my daughter is not afraid of upsetting us.

Littleneck
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 11/21/2009 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I stopped cooking! I will cook all the time for myself during the week but not for holidays. I will go over one of my sisters' houses, not cook, and generally relax. I used to have to slave away all the time, and now my family takes care of me. THAT's a change. :)

myjoy
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Date Joined Feb 2009
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   Posted 11/22/2009 4:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I used to be a very last minute person when getting ready for the holidays - but I would get it all done! Now, I pace myself over a couple of week's time. It helps me very much. The kids are coming for Thanksgiving and I've been getting ready for 3 weeks. I'm not so stressed either - guess that's a good thing.
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Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 11/22/2009 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
At first it was hard not having all my children and grandchildren at my house on Christmas Day but I understood them wanting to be home on Christmas morning for the children. So we started having it at our house either the weekend before or after Christmas and it works out great cause I get them for a whole weekend. Oh, I just had a flashback of having 6 kids from 6-13 in my house for a weekend. shocked Then add to that three dogs, I have one grandpuppy that comes, running through the house with the kids, can I go to a motel??? smilewinkgrin
 
So for all of you that have small children start your own traditions, your families will adjust.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
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Irish Babe
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 11/22/2009 7:41 AM (GMT -7)   

I used to do all the holidays at my house. Ppl would ask what time should we come? Never volunteered to make something, just come and wait to be waited on. I worked full time and volunteered at my church, took my children to all their activities and rushed home to bake and cook and clean. I finally brought it down to just Christmas Eve. I still cook, but trimmed that considerably. I used to bake every cookie and cake and pie. I now buy cheesecake (must have), and there is a place a ride away, but so worth it, for the best pumpkin pie. I still make a few treats that my children and niece and nephews like. My mother just asked me yesterday to make the cookies she likes so much. I try to buy gifts online, to avoid standing on lines at the stores. My back gives out and I get really, really sick!

Several yrs ago, my DH's sister wasn't going to be home for Christmas and their brother usually went there for Christmas. I said invite him for Christmas Eve for the dinner. Well, the brother had plans to go out drinking w/ the guys from work, but he would be more than happy to come over- he would let me know what time- after he recovered from his hangover and I could cook him a fresh dinner, he didn't want the leftovers. My DH (almost became the ex-DH) said Yeah, ok. I was livid. I told DH Christmas Eve or forget it. This is not Alice's Restaurant! My BIL hasn't come over for the holidays since. I was having a terrible time w/ work and just made it to the holiday break (teacher). I needed to slow down. I still hadn't been dx w/ FMS.

Sugar, B C, 'Before Children' my DH and I would leave work on Christmas Eve to visit my parents, have dinner, & open presents before my father had to leave for work, then we would go over to my MIL's place after she got home from work, open presents and visit. We would leave to go the church my husband attended as a child for Midnight Mass. Go home, sleep and go back to work, yes on Christmas Day. When our son was born, all that changed, my family came over our house on Christmas Eve, my MIL, BIL and DH's aunt and uncle came to our house to visit and see the baby open his gifts. You will drive yourself crazy trying to drag your little one to visit all the family. It will wear both of you out and the joy and beauty of the season will be lost.

We are having a very quiet Thanksgiving, just the five of us and the dog. lol. I sent out all my Thanksgiving cards to friends on Saturday, so proud of myself! yeah Past few yrs I was lucky if they got out on Tues before Thanksgiving. Now I have to start writing the Christmas cards, oh well.

Life has changed, but as long as my family is together, my Christmas wish has been granted. It really is about being w/ the ones you love, the whole message of Christmas is LOVE. I think most of us remember the loving relatives who shared the holidays, the laughing and the loving, not really what was under the tree or how many cookies we ate. It's the 'who', not the 'what'. IMHO.

God bless.  Alice. 


FunnyGurl
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 173
   Posted 11/22/2009 8:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Well in the past I have tried to cook the meals on my own but that is very difficult.  Going out on holidays is no fun either.
This year my hubby is going to do all the cooking for Thanksgiving.  I may pitch in and help a little but he will do the main stuff.  We only have 2-4 family members coming over the rest live out of town so it will be a small gathering but should be fun.
Christmas we are discussing ordering a spiral ham from somewhere like Smithfields or Honey baked ham.  MMMnnnn making me hungry now.
You all have a pain free holiday season!!!
Humour is always the Best Medicine!
 
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SassyMyKitty
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 11/23/2009 11:19 AM (GMT -7)   
sugarchic9985 said...
Well, this year we are breaking the no Christmas stuff until after Thanksgiving rule. I always insist on decking out the house, and especially this year as it is our son's first real Christmas. But I have been so miserable lately, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be the one to do it. I'm having a really good day so far today, so we decided we are going to go ahead and put up the decorations because I'm not sure when the next time I will feel like doing it will be.

I haven't exactly figured out how we are going to work out Christmas this year, but something is going to have to give. We normally get up around 6 to get to my parents at 8 to open gifts and then go to my aunt's at 10 and then get to his mom's around 1. With a one year old this year, I don't know how I will be able to do all that.


Honey, sometimes you just have to make sacrifices. If you can't go to all of them don't feel bad. You have a one year old, who, trust me, will get cranky doing a lot of running and being around a lot of people. If you have to skip one of them, then don't fret. Maybe you could work it out so that you can go to one or two of the places the day after Christmas. I'm sure they wouldn't mind making a compromise. I wish you luck. I hope you and your son have a great Christmas.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


sugarchic9985
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 11/24/2009 10:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I think I would feel really depressed if I had to discontinue any of our Christmas traditions. I have a younger brother and sister that are unmarried, don't have kids, and I know not having Christmas morning at my parents house would upset them. After that we go to my aunt's and I see family that I don't get to see often. I talked to my mom and sister yesterday about it and they decided that instead of opening presents at their house at 8, everybody would get up and get ready to go, and we would meet them there at 9 to open them and then head to my aunts. We eat breakfast at my aunt's, so the morning really wouldn't be too rushed. We decided against midnight mass since I don't think I could handle the lack of sleep, and I don't think the baby could either. I know my boyfriend is going to get upset by it, but I'm going to have to suggest that we go see his family on Christmas Eve, instead of Christmas day. It is just his mom and brother, and they don't really do anything that we have to be there at specific times for. The baby doesn't really like being around them, and I think if we go on Christmas, he is going to be so crabby we won't be able to stay long anyways.

RedDiane
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   Posted 11/24/2009 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I just wish I had some little kids to blame and then I wouldn't have to go to every relative's house for Christmas. I'm trying to get out of some stuff, by using my son's New Year's Eve wedding. What will I do next year? Diane
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pattipanda
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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 11/24/2009 4:17 PM (GMT -7)   
In a word.. nothing.  I don't trim a tree, I don't bake anymore, I don't decorate the house.  Nothing.
 
Christmas hasn't had much appeal to me in the past 10 years or so.  So much about the holiday is just plain crazy.
 
Now that I'm back to work full time all I'm looking forward to this Christmas is a couple of "paid" days off and trying to get caught up on my much needed rest.
 
Since my husband was laid off 7 months ago, there will be no presents.  We're just lucky to be together and quite honestly, its a humbling experience.
 
I will leave you with these words though...If you are fortunate enough to give Christmas gifts this year, please shop locally, support your community and give some of your time to those that are less fortunate than yourself - Patti Anderson - 2009
Patti
 
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nasalady
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Date Joined Sep 2009
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   Posted 11/24/2009 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I too used to do an incredible amount of work during the holidays. I invited everyone over, and I did all the cooking. For Thanksgiving I usually started cooking 3 days in advance, made my own bread and cut it into cubes and dried them for the stuffing, then made pumpkin pie, cherry pie, apple pie...well you get the idea. On Thanksgiving day I got up at 4am and cooked all day long: turkey and stuffing and homemade gravy, broccoli-cheese casserole, garlic mashed potatoes, mushrooms parmesan, homemade rolls and cranberry relish. I made everything from scratch.

Then on Christmas Day I would do Thanksgiving all over again, except that I also made homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast! I used to make Christmas gifts for all my friends: homemade stollen or cookies or gingerbread.

It's so hard for me to believe now that I was able to do all of that!

This year I'm just going to throw a turkey breast into the crockpot, and since we are gluten free, and we're trying to go grain and sugar free too, we won't even have gluten-free stuffing. All of the recipes that I will make are very basic: mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, sugar-free cranberry sauce....my husband will help when I need him to.

I know that my adult kids miss the big feasts, but my theme now is "simplify". Fibro and RA and lupus and everything else make it so that I have to conserve my energy, not spend it recklessly.
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SassyMyKitty
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Date Joined Apr 2009
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   Posted 11/24/2009 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
RedDiane said...
I just wish I had some little kids to blame and then I wouldn't have to go to every relative's house for Christmas. I'm trying to get out of some stuff, by using my son's New Year's Eve wedding. What will I do next year? Diane

 

You would think that, but with kids, your families always want to see the kids. My family would be really disappointed if I showed up without Alex.


Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 11/25/2009 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Patti, I'm sorry things are so bleak for you and your DH this year and thank you for reminding us that we need to help those less fortunate than we are.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
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mamanan
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Date Joined Jun 2008
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   Posted 11/25/2009 9:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I was never too crazy, but I used to bake a lot more. Last year I didn't even decorate outside. This year I feel better so I was excited to put up the decorations. Baking is way down, as dh is now diabetic. I even bought some ready made mixes that my kids were selling for a fund raiser at school, so I don't expect to do too much. I have nothing made yet though, I feel way behind this year!
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yo-yo
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Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 11/26/2009 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
 
Ahh yes!  I was the crazy lady who did it all for the holidays too!  With 5 adult kids and 18 grandkids I did the whole spread with the kids each bringing something.  Thanksgiving and Christmas and Easter the whole shebang.  As the fibro became worse( not dx'd yet 20 years ago) I still plugged along trying to do it all. 
 
The big change came about 10 years ago when I developed ulcerative colitis and almost ended up it the hospital.  My sweet DIL volunteered to have Christmas at their house and it changed my life.  The next year my daughter said it was at her house and has been now every year.  We buy bakery cookies in big platters for the kids and take big batches of mixed nuts for the rest of the troops and thats our donation to the party.  We relax and just enjoy the family time and good food. 
 
I totally gave up decorating--yes, ME--the every room decorated to the teeth ME!  My only concesion to the holiday spirit now is a 2 foot tall ceramic lighted tree I've had for years and all I do is plug it in! 
 
Thanksgiving is now just my hubby and me and I bake a turkey breast and make some of the trimmings--bought a bakery pumpkin pie for him since I'm gluten free and thats our big day.  And I'm happy with it and Christmas and just thankful for family who love each other and get along well.  I don't end up aching  and in a flare.  Altho I am in a flare today and have been for two days I can take my time do things at my own pace, my sweet hubby helps me, and life is good!
 
Yo-yo
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