I finally give in

does the depression get any better?
Yes - 25.0%
No - 8.3%
In Time - 33.3%
Only with meds - 16.7%
Dont have depression - 16.7%

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/1/2009 8:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone I am new to this room or website so to speak but not new to Fibromyalgia. My doctor diagnosed me right after I had my youngest child who is now going on 5 in January.
I have been a firm believer in let the body heal thyself. but my body is not healing.
In the beginning 5 years ago. I had pain, weird pain. Guessing to myself I was just so dang tired, I mean having a baby at 40 my other child was just about to move out get married. Me being told many years ago I could not have anymore children was pregnant.  Now dont get me wrong we love our little boom boom very much, and she is very smart. But stress, aniety and overwhelmeing desire to be a stay at home mom finally this time can I???? NOpe society and cost of living says no. I have to cope everyday leaving her to someone else. I WANT TO BRING HER UP.
My pain progressed everyday I dropped her off at daycare, more and more PAIN. So I do know ok this is a trigger. Now she is going to go to school next year and where the heck did the days go, I feel depressed, tired from everything, just tired.
My pain got worse, much worse if I was hugged or touched it hurt, cold weather, hot weather ,change in weather did not matter big ouch. Putting a big damper on marriage. I know he loves me I see it I feel it. but I hurt.
I am on many differant vitamins and recently on paxil for depression. I keep hoping as my specialist would say the ugly truth will show soon.
And then bam have been diagnosed with a vitamin D difficiecy wierd cause I take a huge vitamin regimin a D being a big part. plus I love the sun, usually get a great tan.  So up goes the D intake. Just got tested a few days ago we will see how that worked. Paxil helps the depression but not the pain.
Sometimes I feel like I am having a major heat attack, but nope just flare up said the doc. I want a life again I work hard keep am upper chin but gets hard, really hard some days. I want to play, first snow today and I could not even build a snowman. Is there a life with this cause I dont see it yet.
I guess what I am asking for advise or maybe just a little feed back on what is this, why do we have it? If anyone could know this pain who dont have it would realise they would rather have pain, know what the disease is and how to help it.
thanks for listening all.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 12/2/2009 1:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi sore and welcome to the Family!!

You do have the right attitude in my opinion...you need to learn as much as you can with fibromyalgia since it's sort of a 'self help' disorder. You are the one who will be taking care of the symptoms with your doctor's guidance. But it's not as easy as most since research hasn't totally figured out what causes fibro so there's no single medication to treat it, let alone cure it. It's just miserable.

Now that I've stated the obvious let's get down to your questions. Is there life with fibro? You bet there is. I didn't say it was easy nor is it the same as before, but you can have a wonderful life. It's a matter of learning how your body deals with different activities and reacts to whatever your doctor recommends also.

Current research suggests that fibromyalgia is most likely a central nervous system disorder and not just sore muscles. It seems to be much deeper than that. And why do we get it? Another unknown but the medical community has some good ideas. Some believe heredity plays a factor in have a predisposition to fibromyalgia. But what most agree on is whatever fibro is that somewhere along the line your body suffered some 'insult' that started the fibro into action. For some it might have been a serious illness, maybe the birth of a child which is hard on your body, or often people say it started after a car accident. For me it was a death in the family that shook my body right down to my soul. In 2000 my son passed away unexpectedly. I had been experiencing some achy muscles before that but nothing serious. I chalked it up to getting older. But after my body was hit with this shock the pain slowly increased until it was so bad I went to my doctor to find out why.

One good thing about fibro is it's not life threatening. Some days that is a comforting thought yet others it's not. I always tell people who are new to this disorder to try to relax...and I can hear the laughter I"m sure...lol But the more you tense up the greater your pain.

Please take a bit of time to read the Fibro 101 post at the top of the listings. In there you will find a link to a pain journal. I would suggest downloading and making copies...one for each day of the week...and use it for several months. This is probably the best way for your doctor to see how you pain is and how any medications help or not. It's a wonderful yet easy tool to help get you on the track to living a good life with fibro.

Warm hugs,
The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for. — Alexander Chalmers

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 12/2/2009 1:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sore. I have been depressed in the past. It does get better, but sometimes you need medication to help get past the very worst parts. Some people need meds for always and some need meds for about a year. When you are in the midst of it, it seems like you will never feel better. The fibro contributest to depression and visa versa. Even if the pain is a constant low ebb, it is exhausting and upsetting. But it is variable and unpredictable. Some people on here never get relief. I am pretty fortunate in that my pain can drop to a level 2 sometimes. Learning to pace yourself and accept the fibro is helpful toward alleviating some of the stress and pain.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 447
   Posted 12/2/2009 11:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Sore,
Life goes on we all have days when we wish it woiuld just stop then we will have some good days for me it comes and it goes, laughter seems to help this releases the good feelings in our brain and that helps us. Finding something you really enjoy and then taking the time out to just do that. Yes we feel terrible but it does pass sometimes not for a long time and outer times we seem to just have a short flare.
I went to a pain clinic and they talked about finding some where where you can go when the pain is bad and learn to go to that place when it gets tough. For me it took me years but now I can and it does help, I have also learnt to relax now that is a big one, stress is not our friend. My family know I have taken up the no worries banner I will not stress, if need be I will just sit down and take a deep breath and take it slowly.
Spend some time each day just for YOU I know what having small children and fms is like but you need to put you first so you can cope with everything else.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 12/2/2009 12:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Those of us in this forum do understand what you're going through and I'm so sorry you're in so much pain and are so exhausted.

I was struck by your statement that you've been diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency even though you take a supplement AND spend a lot of time in the sun, because I too was severely deficient in vitamin D last year, just before I was diagnosed with celiac disease. Celiac disease is an autoimmune disease that causes damage to your intestines when you eat anything that contains gluten (a protein found in all varieties of wheat, barley, and rye). The damage is to the villi in the small intestine...villi absorb the nutrients from the food you eat and also produce enzymes that help you digest milk products.

I went on the gluten free diet a year ago and was recently tested again....my vitamin D level is now normal! The only difference is that I'm gluten free, so the intestinal damage has healed and now my body can absorb any nutrients that I consume.

People with fibromyalgia frequently have one or more autoimmune diseases as well.....have you ever been tested for celiac disease? Even if you have been tested, and the tests are negative, you can always try the gluten free diet for a couple of weeks to see if you feel better. It has helped my energy level to be gluten free, and I don't have the migraine headaches and gastrointestinal problems I used to have.

In any case, this is just a suggestion....I'm not a medical professional and I'm just sharing my own experiences. If you are interested in how to start the gluten free diet, here is a very helpful link:

(((hugs))) and best wishes....
Autoimmune hepatitis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's syndrome, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, GERD.

Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Mirapex, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP


Post Edited (nasalady) : 12/2/2009 10:46:56 AM (GMT-7)

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/2/2009 6:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I thank you all for the replys they have been very helpful. and in my reading on this website that I just came across always thought I was alone and see this is a very painful desease for us all. I will take all your helpful hints and work on a better way of handling this. As I said think being 40 a pregnant after just finding out my older daughter was getting married and moving out was 2 major hits at once and put me in overdrive. I survived them I will survive this with the help from all of you.

I have a wonderful husband who said he wished he could help me more, and does a great job at helping me with the stress but he cant talk me through the pain or understand the pain cause he does not have this. but because of him, he said try and find a website and talk it out with others to see.

I was a major coffee drinker and found that coffee and the nice sugar substitute I used are triggers for pain so I cut way back on the coffee and the substitute I dont use. In one week I felt better but not great I think time maybe more and more.

Again I thank you all and am glad I found you all.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40404
   Posted 12/2/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Sore-to-touch,
You have found a wonderful place to come and to share.  We all know what you are going through, so we can share input and we all learn from our discussions.
I think you have to treat your depression along with your fibromyalgia.  They kind of go hand in hand, as was mentioned above, they do effect eachother.  But being on a good anti depressant can often help with the pain too.  I hope that you can find something that can work for you to relieve both.
I too was low on vitamin D and it helps so much when I take it.  I also follow with the malic acid and magnesium.  They both help with fibromyalgia, for some, not all.  But it is worth a shot.  You can read about it on fibro101.  
I too have cut back on my caffiene.  I drink a lot of coffee, but substitute 1/3 of it with decaff.  It still tastes good and has brought my blood pressure way down.  I can't live without my coffee.  I drink into the night.  And it doesn't effect my sleep. 
You have come to a good place.  There are many wonderful members on this forum, you will find that out. We do the best we can.  Take life one day at a time, and also use a little humor to get us through each and every day.  Take care, keep posting.
Best wishes,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 12/2/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi sore and welcome to the family. It sounds like you are suffering from a lot of mommy guilt, the worse kind of guilt. Try to not dwell on what you can't do but what you can still do, there really are worse things than fibro.
Fibro started for me after a very long stressful time in my life that about did me in. My central nervous system hasn't been the same and that has been 12 yrs ago. Then 2 1/2 yrs ago we lost a grandson in Iraq and the pain and fatigue really escalated. So many of us can trace it back to a certain event in our lives.
I also was dx'd with celiac in July and after a couple of months of being gluten free I noticed a little more energy and have done more in the past two months than I had for years but that has come with the price of increased pain. My vit D is also low.
We can do what we want just in a different way. Just like Christmas, I have scaled down and simplified but still have just as much fun as long as my family is here. I was a perfectionist before fibro.
Stay with us and we will help you as much as we can.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
Vit D/calcium

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 12/4/2009 2:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Oooh yes the mommy guilt, I get that quite alot myself, as I have a 4 y/o boy. My husband helps me with our son, he's disabled so he can't help much with the house work, but I have friends that come over every two wks and help me with something around the house and in turn I watch their little ones for a couple hrs. For birthdays and holidays, we get two disposable cameras and give one to my son, so he can make his own memories, we may not go and play football or tag at the park, he has nearly every toy at a park in our backyard, his bedroom is filled with art supplies and books. And all the cooking and planning is done together. For a long time my pride got in the way, I never asked for help and insisted on doing everything myself, but in the end I did it for my son. He calls my godson and god daughter his brother and sister, I have a closer relationship with my family and husband. A good support system is absolutely necessary, someone to give a hug or just come over and chat and watch movies while helping fold laundry. And God knows, all of the wonderful ppl here have helped so much as well, having someone to talk to that goes through it too, and has other ways of treating their pain and is willing to share and be supportive are a God send

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

My train of thought derailed long ago, now I take the bus, few more stops, but I eventually get there.

FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID

Buspar 10mg, Acetometaphen 500mg, Zantac 150mg, B-complex, Tramadol 150mg

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