As The Fibro Burns...The Ride Home

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vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 12/4/2009 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   
After purchasing a new Fibro chair and loveseat, spending a few minutes in the Pain Room howling their brains out and snatching a fist ful of Milky Way bars on the way out, Norah and Poinedexter hobble through the automatic doors in search of the taxi.  Astonishingly, there it is, still parked in the Fire Lane.  You would think Fabio The Driver would jump out and open the door for two fibromites, but he is plugged into his IPOD and deep into Muskrat Love.  Poindexter opens the door for Norah and she slides in.   He follows.
 
"You two remember the fibro-mite rules?" Fabio asks, pulling the plug on the IPOD.
 
"Of course,"  Poindexter sighs.
 
"Don't be insulted that I ask.  You people forget everything," Fabio replies, putting the pedal to the metal.
 
Poindexter inches closer to Norah.  After all, he has just purchased an expensive Fibro seating combo for this woman.
 
"Norah Fairchild...I would like to ask you something.  Now, don't answer until you THINK."
 
She is licking the last smear of chocolate off her fingers.  He wonders if she even hears him speaking.
 
"You know that I adore you.  I would do anything to make you happy.  Do you think...well...that we could be more than fibro-friends?  That we might have a future together?  He strokes her cheek softly."
 
"Owie.  TMJ."
 
Oh, what a difficult endeavor this will be, he thinks.  A relationship with no touching?  It can be done, he decides.  She certainly was touched by Steede Toesnapper, and more than once.
 
"Answer me, Norah Fairchild.   I need to know."
 
She turns her head and looks into his gray/blue/greenish colored eyes.  "Well...you are no Steede.  I know he has too many teeth for his mouth and those hairplugs are so obvious and to be honest with you, they give me the creeps...I know he has fathered a twin with my sister Mysty and has deceived me in the most demeaning way...but I just don't know if I can forget him!  You are...a scrawny man, so pale and unpleasing to the eye...those teeth of yours look like little kernals of corn..."
 
"Oh please, just stop with the insults," he whimpers, having heard this description so many times in the past.  She may be the Lanicane woman, but isn't exactly a heart stopping knock-out herself anymore.  Fibro has robbed her of her lusture...her vibrance.  Yet he loves her anyway.
 
She touches his knee with her ice cold hand.   "I am so sorry.  Sometimes I don't realize I am speaking outloud when thoughts whirl around inside my head.  I once told Eric Estrada he had a booger on his cheek...didn't mean to...it just flew out of my mouth."
 
Poindexter is looking out the window, pretending to be hurt to the core.  "Maybe we should stop at Barnes and Noble and get you the book 'Women Who Love Men Who Treat Them Like Crap." he mumbles.
 
"I have that book!  I use it to smash this ganglion cyst that keeps popping up on my wrist!"  She shows him the large knot that clearly needs a good hard clobber.
 
"Okay.  I get it.  We have no future," he sighs.
 
"Now, Poindexter...I didn't say that.   You have some alluring qualities that are very appealing.   We both have fibro and can rub each others feet.  We can spend long evenings basking in a 90 degree room watching Beaches or Steel Magnolia's on televsion..."
 
He groans....and OMG.
 
Fabio snaps his head around.  "Why don't you two get a room, already.  I am starting to gag!"
 
Organ music.
 
"Oh can we...can we get a room?  How about at the Ritz Carlton on 63rd Street!   They have fibro friendly rooms...please Poindexter...can we...can we?"
 
Poindexter comes to life!  She wants to get a room!  He pretends to think about it for a moment and the camera zooms to his face that is glowing with anticipation.
 
"I don't know, Norah fairchild.  After all, I am sooooo scrawny and of course there's my teeth that repulse you..."
 
"I take it all a back!  You are a manly man stallion!  I tend to lie when I'm in a nasty flare.  Surely you understand that!"
 
Oh yes he does.  Big fat liar when in a flare.
 
'Okay," he agrees.  "But we have to be back by three tomorrow, as that is when Fibro R Us is delivering the furniture and heating pad."
 
Fabio slams on the brakes then does a U turn at 60 MPH.  Anything to get them out of the cab.  He will take them to the Ritz, and good luck on finding a taxi that will take them home.  He chuckles to himself picturing these two having to take a subway.  America's Funniest Home Videos.
 
Norah is excited but  is already starting to forget where they are going.  Poindexter certainly hasn't forgotten.  He's the man...yes indeed he is.  The Ritz.
 
Fade to black and a commercial for the 'painless' leg hair removal egg covered with volcano pumice and shards of finely ground glass.
 
Huggies
Donna
 
 
 
 
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: valium Advil


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 12/4/2009 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Donna I love how your brain works. As the Fibro Burns cracks me up without fail. I'm
so glad you kept it going! Thanks!!! I'll have to stock up on the milkyways.
 
Robin

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/4/2009 12:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh my God Donna I love it!!! I about peed my pants with the Eric Estrada comment. I am so glad that its continuing, you have a real talent in writing my friend. Thanks for the giggles.
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Sharmedimsure
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 12/4/2009 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
In my opinion, laughter is the best fibro medication out there. Thanks for keeping us medicated!!! Didn't realize you had become a doctor of sorts to so many, huh? Thanks!!! I hope you are having a nice, soft, cozy, snuggie day... with a milky way of coursesmilewinkgrin
 
Shar
 

(Revelation 21:4) And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 12/6/2009 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Are we getting X-rated here?  nono devil   It will be interesting to see how Norah and Poindexter work things out.  Hehehe

Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


FMsaddenedspirit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 236
   Posted 12/11/2009 5:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I had not been on line for some time because . for whatever reason i could not accees any of the post.. so i was searching this morning to make sure i did not miss this ..

you are the best my dear.. i so look forward to reading your stoyes. Love it..
Spirit ~

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