denial is catching up with me ..

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do-over
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 12/26/2009 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I was diagnosed 4 years ago with fibromyalgia.  Saw a rheumatologist who specialized in diagnosis and treatment of this stuff.  She suggested that I take a hand full of supplements and see a physical therapist ... wrote an Rx for therapy.  I went 3 times and thought I would lose my mind with the boring things they asked me to do.  "Stand in this warm pool up to your chest and just stand there .. don't swim, don't walk a lot .. just stand".  "Lay on the table and hold this rubber ball over your chest with both hands".  I used to lift weights competitively ... and this little stuff was killing me.  I was bored, I was frustrated, I was sore, I was discouraged ... and I was out of money .. so I quit going and decided to suck it up and make the best of things.  Eventually, I just learned to cope with the pain and the 'teflon brain' (nothing sticks) and the stiff/soreness and the not being able to sleep and the depression and the anxiety and the restless legs and the weakness and headaches and pins & needles.  My kids got a little older and could help more, and I lowered my expectations for what a 'clean house' and a 'decent garden' were ... and did the best I could. 
 
But now I am finding myself REALLY anxious, REALLY sore, REALLY wanting to go to bed at 6:30 every evening, REALLY wanting to pop advil and tylenol every morning even before the coffee has perked, REALLY tired of having to stop half way up the stair to rest.  Tired of constant UTI's and high WBC counts and exhaustion and weakness.  I feel like I am made of concrete.  And I'm only 38.  This is ridiculous. 
 
I have no insurance now, but will again within a couple of months, so I'll try to see the new Rheumatologist in town in February.  I tried to convince myself a long time ago that fibromyalgia wasn't "real" .. mostly because I didn't want to have it and I couldn't see a solution and I was totally denying it.  But I'm about out of denial ... and need to face this beast head on.  In the mean time, I'm wondering ... is the only thing that Dr's recommend excersize?  is there something else that works? 

FunnyGurl
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 173
   Posted 12/26/2009 3:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry you are in pain.
No exercise is not the only option.  I can barely exercise because of my conditions.  I take medications and some Vitamins for my Fibro.  There are alot of new medications out there specifically for fibro now.  They may  start you on one of those.  It is a hit and miss it seems with those new meds so it may take a while to find the one and correct dosage for you.  But in the meantime the Doc will help you with pain, sleep and any other symptoms you are having because of fibro.  You may not have to do physical therapy esp if you cannot afford it but walking would be a good start.
Best of luck to you.
Gentle Hugs!!!
Humour is always the Best Medicine!
 
Fibromyalgia, DDD, 2 herniated Lumbar discs, OsteoArthritis Lumbar, Migraine, Dysthmic Disorder, Anxiey, Panic Attacks, OsteoArthritis Knee, Carpal Tunnel both hands, Currently Double Depression


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 12/26/2009 4:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I think it is important to exercise, but you need to find something that isn't too hard on your muscles and it's something you enjoy doing.  My form of exercising is walking.  I also swim in the warmer weather.  Before I started walking, I was soooo stiff and I felt ancient.  I started walking and could only go about four houses down and had to turn around and come back.  But I kept it up every day.  A few days later, I went further and now I walk the dog for a mile every morning, usually before breakfast!  Like you, I'm very stiff in the morning and really don't feel like venturing out, but I do and I always am looser and feeling better by the time I get back home.  So give that a try.  If you sit or lay too long, you definitely will be stiff as a board.
 
There are some good stretching exercises in Fibro 101, too.  I do these a lot and they really do help loosen up the muscles.
 
I use ibuprofen with food and extra strength Tylenol.  I also take malic acid/magnesium supplements and vitamin D3 to help with pain and fatigue.  Many with fibro are deficient in these vitamins and nutrients.  There are links about these in Fibro 101...the second thread on the forum.  Perhaps this would help you.  I know it's helped me.  I still have pain but it's managable and I can live my life a whole lot better now.
 
Moist heat helps, too.  Hot showers or baths are great.  Many have a Bed Buddy.  You can get these at Walgreen's and other places or  you can make your own by taking a tube sock, filling it 2/3's full of long grain raw rice and tying a knot at the end.  Pop it in the microwave and it gives off moist heat due to the moisture in the rice.
 
I've mentioned Fibro 101 a couple of times.  If you haven't read it, you should.  There are links with good info about fibromyalgia.  The more you know about this illness the better able you are to cope with it and have an enjoyable life in spite of it.  Also, don't hesitate to continue to ask questions because we are here to help you.  I hope you start to feel a little better soon.
 
Sherrine


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Post Edited (Sherrine) : 12/26/2009 4:27:02 PM (GMT-7)


do-over
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 12/26/2009 4:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. And I feel like I should say here .. that I REALLY hope I didn't offend anyone when I mentioned that I "didn't believe" in fibromyalgia for a period of time. I know that it's real ... I just didn't want it to be. If that makes any sense. I mean .. it was easy to deny .. no one could PROVE to me that I had it .. even though I met all the stinking criteria. :( It's not like there was a blood test or an MRI or something that I couldn't argue with ...

Thanks for the advice .. I have been looking through the 101 thread ... there is a lot to read!

I used to walk with my mom ... but due to changed in my family finances, I have had to get a full time job ... I think that is what is putting me over the edge. I have to wake and get ready and get 3 kids ready and out the door by 7 every morning ... work all day .. and don't get everyone gathered and home til 6:00. So the fact that I am ready to crawl into bed at 6:30 doesn't help ... and I wake up several times a night ... and can't get back to sleep .. I think that fatigue must make this fibro stuff much worse.

sorry .. this is a ramble ... but I DO remember that walking helped .. it was hard ... and soooo frustrating because i used to be so healthy and strong .... and now i feel like i am about 150 years old. it's like a chicken and egg scenario now .. i am so depressed ... and tired .. and sore ... and they are feeding off of each other.

it will get better though .. it always does!

Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 12/26/2009 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
First of all, I don't think you offended anyone.  You didn't offend me.  I think we all have had denial at one time or another.  But the sooner you accept this illness the sooner you can look it straight in the face and beat it at it's game.
 
Not being able to get a good night's sleep is one of the problems with fibro.  Also, we rarely get in a deep, REM sleep where our bodies start to heal.  I'm up at least three times a night and some nights as many as five times.  Sometimes I'll be asleep and my eyes will pop open!  Boom, I'm awake.  I've had nights where this has happened around ten times...on top of getting up all the other times!  I know I'm not getting enough rest but that's fibro for you.  
 
You need to get on a sleep schedule, too.  If you have to leave that early, you probably need to get up around 5:30 AM.  If that is accurate, you really need to go to bed around 9 PM.  If you do this then your body will become accustomed to that and you should be able to fall asleep quickly.  I'm usually up by 6:30 AM so I'm in bed by 10 PM most every night.  
 
Try not to think too much if you do wake up.  I was going, and still am, through a rough time and if I started mulling that around in my mind, I not only would get upset but also I could kiss sleep good bye!  I am a praying person.  I found that if I didn't fall back to sleep quickly, praying for family and friends really helped.  It relaxes me and makes me peaceful and then I fall asleep.  You might try that too. 
 
Also, many with fibro have depression because of the chronic pain issue.  It can be depressing but you need to focus on the things you can do and not the things you can't do.  We all have many blessings so we need to look at those.  It really does help.
 
Taking things a day at a time helps a lot, too.  Don't project yourself in the future because none of us know what the future holds anyway.  Why worry over something that may never happen?  That's not easy but it can be done.  I struggle with this sometimes, too.
 
But, stick with us and ask questions.  We are all in this together and we can have a full and enjoyable life in spite of this illness.  I know I have!
 
Sherrine 
 
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Finding_the_Light
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 12/26/2009 7:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I want to second that i didnt get offended either. And i just got a bed buddy for Christmas and it definitely helps!!!
Probable diagnosis of fibromyalgia. Along with: Bipolar,OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, anxiety, gastroparesis,pcos,add Meds: Neurontin, Lyrica, OMEGA 3 Fish oil and vit d3, tenex wellbutrin i stopped taking.


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 12/27/2009 1:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Do-over. I understand what you mean by being frustrated because you were so strong before. I used to lift weights and jog and could do more difficult pilates and yoga poses than I can now. Before fibro I walked all over Europe for a month. If you have ever been to Paris, the multi-level metro stairs are an exercise all on their own. Now I can only walk or exercise for about 10-15 minutes at a time. I run out of ability to do stuff long before I run out of will or energy. I sometimes wish fibro weren't real and I could say, "I don't have fibro" and it would go away. I know we can build our strength back up, but sometimes it makes me so mad that I have to basically start over. It is not like I was just being lazy all the time and that is what made me not able to do stuff.

I understand the desire to deny. But there are good things with fibro too. Pacing is probably good for everyone. And we are forced to do it or suffer. So, there is some good.

Gentle hugs,
Sue
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