Dealing with teens (a little OT)

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AustenFan
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Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
For all of you moms (and dads) who have made it through the teen years, how did you deal with all of the emotional drama?

My teen is actually pretty level headed, but there is still a certain amount of drama that goes on in her life. Being a concerned mom (and of course, never wanting to see my child in pain), I tend to get upset when she is.

She gets upset; I get upset; I get a flare. ANY emotional upset manifests itself physically with me, so I'm wondering if any of you veteran parents have any tips on how to be supportive without taking on the emotions that can go with the drama (boyfriend problems, friend problems, school problems, etc.).

Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


myjoy
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Ah, the teen years..... My husband and I raised 2 teenagers to full adulthood and all is well now. :) Our daughter was a bundle of emotions just like you describe. Oftentimes blowing things way out of proportion. Remember that the whole world revolves around them right now. This is the time they learn how to make it in the real world - which means working things out on their own. I know it's hard, but try to keep in mind that things are not always as they seem to a teenager - meaning, it may not be as bad as they are saying. They are just learning how to live life.

Be there for your teenager.....listen to their troubles (you are a good mom in that your teenager comes to you with things), and give minimal advice - mostly listen. They just need to get things off their chest. Try not to take on their problems.....I know this is very hard because I'm the type of person who wanted to fix it all.

You are doing a great job. Hang in there - this time will pass.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, osteoarthritis, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.

fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, prilosec, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.


mamanan
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 12/30/2009 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
NOT looking forward to that! My oldest is 11 now, so it won't be long. I see a glimpse of the moodiness and rebellion sometimes. I am just so thankful that I'll be able to cut my teeth on the boys goign through it first before the girls!

Good luck to you both!
fibromyalgia and possible trigeminal neuralgia
50 mgs amitriptyline daily, T3s for facial pain (really not appropriate med) and now tramacet


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 12/30/2009 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I have helped raise my oldest granddaughter and I would not want to go through all that again. My sons and grandsons were a breeze in comparison when it came to drama. Yeah, there were times when the boys got their little hearts broken and I felt sorry for them but with K everything caused drama.
 
Then she got pregnant before she started her second year of college and has an 8 1/2 mo old son and she is 20. I didn't know what stress with a girl was til she told me that little bit of news. Not trying to scare anyone here.smilewinkgrin
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
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Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 12/30/2009 10:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I have two girls and a boy that are grown now.  The girls definitely were more difficult to raise when it came to the teenage years.  I was always home and was there for them.  They would tell me things, most of the time, and I would let them know what I would do under the same circumstances.  I tried to put things in perspective for them, too.  Yes, I listened but I also gave advice.  Now they are all adults (my youngest is 31)  and they still come to me for advice!  I really love that.  It makes me feel useful.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/30/2009 10:42 AM (GMT -7)   
i AM also very close to son 34 and daughter 16 almost 17 i do as Sherrine does oir try my best ...keeping the lines of communication open for me is and always has been a biggie....Cait has had to take on the role of caregiver since i got seriously ill a few mths back but i am fighting with all i have to get back the old me.....you sound like a great mom..i wish you all the best...lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                             No BETTER GIFT than FRIENDS N FAMILY                                               
                            Happy Holidays from my home to yours
                              
 


AustenFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 12/31/2009 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone for the encouragement and good advice. If I make it through these teen years with sanity intact, it will be quite an accomplishment. :)
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 12/31/2009 7:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I read "Zits", and then says "Thanks" as I don't have a teenage boy....
lol....
nothing better than laughter to help get you through those teenage years, my daughter is now 18 and we are half way threw this mess and she's still here so that's a good thing...(lol).....
anymore advise???...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Austen)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/31/2009 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
LOVE EM ....communicate and when all else fails ground em .........achhh just kidding you will do just fine.....lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                             No BETTER GIFT than FRIENDS N FAMILY                                               
                            Happy Holidays from my home to yours
                              
 

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