New Member to the Fibro Community - Diagnosed 24 Dec 09

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Julianis
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 1/3/2010 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everybody, I must tell you that I have been reading everybody's posts since September 09.
 
Well, its time to finally introduce myself. I am a female, 28 years old and I was finally diagnosed with Fibro and CFS on Christmas Eve after 3 years of unknowing pain. The fact that it was finally diagnosed that day didnt bother me because after reading all your threads, I knew I had it. I had been trying to prepare myself to start dealing  with it and not let it control my life but it is a struggle everyday that most days I dont win.
 
I am in the military and in three days will be my 7 years mark. I was perfectionist, always on top of the game, winning every award possible. I love my Air Force, my uniform. I love my troops and being part of their success and failures. I was the positive one, the one that will tell you how to make the experience positive even tho I was always in pain. Then, in June my fatigue started to hit and that was my breaking point, where I couldnt be myself anymore. Now that I am finally diagnosed, my future in the military is in the hands of military doctors which will decide if I should stay or get out.
 
A big part of me wants to get out, just because I can not be the person I was. People used to see me as a very strong woman. Now, all I hear is "are you ok?", "you look tired". They dont understand why I shouldnt lift the desk, the computer or help shoveling. I feel lazy and unreliable.
 
The Fibro Fog is the one that frustrates me the most. My husband used to hate the fact that I remembered everything. Now, he found a positive thing out of this lol. However, at work I am missing appointments and meetings. I forget what I am going to say almost instantly. I sat in front of the computer and I while I write an email, I stare for 5 minutes because I dont remember the word I wanted to use.
 
I want to do so much to fight this and to take back the control of my life but I have to save my energy to be able to function at work. So, part of me wants to get out of the military so I have some free time to meet and understand my new me. However, I am scare that after a month or two, or after I finally take control of my life I would regreat leaving the military and I will miss my uniform. 
 
Sorry for the long post. I guess I just wanted to get it out of my system. I dont really have anybody to really talk to without feeling that Im not strong
 
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Depression, Insomnia, TMJ, Degenerative Disc Disorder, GARD
 
 

Irish Babe
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 1/3/2010 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Julianis and Welcome to the family!
 
So glad that you have been reading the posts, many of us have started off that way. Then we realize so many others have this dd and we understand the frustration that others go thru. This is a good place to come to for info, venting, sharing and sometimes just plain silliness.
 
Most of us were perfectionists, and sometimes that is the biggest sting. We were so used to doing things in a certain period of time, knowing exactly where and when and how... and now, Not so much. lol. Many of us identified ourselves by our careers or passions, so when this slows us down, it hurts big time. The 'Fog' is terrible, I once had the greatest memory, now I get flattened by simple words that I used to know. I forget how to get places that I've gone to many, many times.
 
I put off leaving teaching until I just couldn't do it anymore. I pushed myself beyond the limit, because I was afraid to admit I couldn't keep up anymore. It is a blow to the ego. I still have times when I have to 're-accept' (if that is a word, lol) that I am still a smart woman, I don't have anything to prove to anyone else. Sometimes, we need ME time and we need to realize we aren't lazy or lax, we have a different set of circumstances and we need to do right by us now. Other ppl who have other DD are sometimes given more slack because they are 'real' diseases.  We need to understand what we have is so very real, it is a lot to deal w/ on a daily basis. Others have to realize that, also. Do what you need to do to help yourself to live your life.
 
The best way to 'fight' this is to take good care of yorself. It doesn't mean crawling into a hole, but eating well, sleeping and resting well, doing exercises that you can handle, even if it is gentle stretching and walking.
 
This is a good place to come to get things 'out of your system'. Don't worry about the length of the post, sometimes you just need to get things out. I don't think anybody on this forum would think of you as anything but 'STRONG'. Fibro only seems to hit strong ppl, IMHO. We know how much it takes to get up everyday and live your life, and how much you give to live a 'normal' life.
 
If you haven't checked out Fibro 101 on the top of the page, pls do, there is so much good info that many members have shared and our Sherrine compiled it all in one spot to make it easier for us to find. Sherrine is a gem, as you may already know.
 
Pls let us know how you are doing, we do care - we are all in this thing together.
 
God bless.  Alice.

AustenFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 1/3/2010 3:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and Welcome. What a great Christmas present. :) All kidding aside, a diagnosis is helpful because then you know what you are dealing with, but at the same time, it can be quite an emotional blow.

I guess I would suggest taking your time and letting all of this digest before you make any major decisions about your future. Many of us end up not working, but there are some on this board who are able to continue. As I'm sure you know, fibro affects everyone differently. Since you did just get your diagnosis, there may be a treatment out there that works for you and will help you function

Having said all of that, I know how completely overwhelming it can be. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, and I did have to quit working. I'm still trying to figure out who I am as a person with fibro (and lots of other illnesses). I think that with this dd, there really isn't an easy choice.

This is a great place to come for support. I wish you the best as you navigate these crazy waters. (fibro, not this board, lol).

Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 1/3/2010 3:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Julianis, and welcome!  I'm so glad you decided to join our family.  We have wonderful members that love to help one another and, as a bonus, we do really care about each other too!  I know you will like it here.
 
First of all, I want to thank you soooo much for your service to this great country.  We really do appreciate all you and the other troops do to help keep us safe and strong.  You definitely are not lazy or unreliable, either.  Hopefully you will find what works best for you to get fibro under control.
 
Have you had a chance to read the Fibro 101 thread?  If not, it's chocked full of good information about fibromyalgia and the more you know about it the better decisions you can make about your healthcare.  I take malic acid/magnesium supplements and there is a link about them in this thread.  They have really helped me with pain and fatigue.  They don't help everyone but they would be worth a shot.  I also take vitamin D3.  Many with fibro are deficient in these vitamins and nutrients so talk to your doctor about this. 
 
You seem to love your job so, as long as the military is willing, I think I would stay on.  You are just starting this journey with fibro and  you might come across what works for you to keep doing what you want to do with  your life.  You probably would have to rule out certain activities in the military but I'm sure the doctors there will help guide you so you make the right decision for you.  It would be a shame to throw in the towel just yet.  But I totally understand the indecision you are having.  Your doctor hopefully will be able to help you.  You might not be the person you were, but you can still be a person of great value to your fellow service men and women.  Don't sell yourself short.  It's amazing what we can do if we really want to do it.
 
Fibrofog????  It's the pits!  But, keep a good sense of humor and you can get through it.  The more you stress over it, the worse it seems to get...at least for me.  If I can't think of a word, I'll continue writing and then it will pop in my head.  If not, I'll put in a substitute word.  The message will still be understood. 
 
I'm happy that you found us.  I do think you will get some good answers here.  Don't hesitate to ask questions, either, because we are here to help you.  I hope to hear more from you soon.
 
Sherrine
 
 
 
 
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 1/3/2010 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to our family Julianis, where you can always find caring, flaring, foggy, friendly fibromtes. I was a lurker like you, read the forum long before I joined. This forum has been
a blessing.

You have already recieved some wonderful advice. I am sure you have already learned that
having fibro will challenge you differently everyday. Take each day as it comes. In time you
will find what makes you feel better. Having the support of people who understand does help
alot. I'm really glad you made the decision to join us. Sending you gentle hugs and hope that
you know that we really care.

Hugs, Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 1/3/2010 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to our community, Julianis. You will find a lot of help, encouragement, support, and advice here. You will also find acceptance. I am so sorry to hear that this is causing you so many problems. I understand that your uniform, and your place in the Air Force is important to you. It is possible that if you are discharged from the military, it will be an honorable one. It sounds to me like it would be because of all you have done, all you have accomplished. A lot of places hire honorably discharged military people. I know you would hate to lose your uniform...your place in the military, but what is the most important thing is your health. You have to take care of you. All branches of the military are filled with high expectations. I understand what it is like to be a perfectionist. I was one, also. I still am, so a lot of things tend to bug me, but if I can't take care of it, I just have to ignore it. Please keep us posted on how things are going. Again, welcome to our community...our family. Take care of yourself. 
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


Julianis
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 1/3/2010 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for the reply and advices. Sassy, if they decided to release me from the military, it will be with honorable discharge so Im not worry about that. Sherrine, thank you for the good advice. I guess I kind of feel selfish if I stay in. Right now, my leadership had been very supportive and understanding. They changed my position to a less stressful one and I had been giving away a lot of extra volunteer projects I used to do. However, if Im having a bad day, my bosses send me home but my Airmen need to take over the extra workload. This is why I feel selfish if I stay, because I dont think others should pay the conscecuences of my medical issue. Does that sound crazy?
 
*****************************************************************************
Julianis
28 years old
Washington
Fibro Symptoms started 2007
Diagnosed on Dec 24, 2009
 
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Insomnia, 
Depression Degenerative disc disease, TMJ, GARD
 
Lyrica: 150 mg
Trazadone: 100 mg
Tyleno Arthritis: 2600 mg
 
 


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 1/3/2010 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Julianis, I know where you are coming from but wouldn't you do the same for them?  That's what a team is.  You may find what helps you control this illness in the near future.  As I said, you have just started this journey...nine days to be exact... and there are plenty of people with fibromyalgia in the workforce.  Some are affected more than others with this illness, too.  So, I guess it depends how you feel. 
 
When fibro hit me, I was barely able to move and in terrible pain.  I have learned how to control the pain now.  I'm much older than  you are...I'm 62 years old...but have had this illness for decades and have had a full and enjoyable life in spite of it!  If I were in your shoes, I would give it a chance.  See how things go.  As you get medication and possible supplements that help you, you just might see that you are able to continue with  your career. 
 
Attitude is half the battle and you definitely don't want to give in to fibromyalgia!  Keep a positive outlook.  Each new day can be different.  We do have our good days and our bad days.  Also, if you are close to any of the airmen that are stepping in and helping you, bounce your thoughts off them.  You might be surprised at their response.  Perhaps, once you get control over fibro, you can help them out.  You have done a wonderful job for seven years and this was not something you asked for.  But, you just might be able to work around fibro and still stay with a job you love.  It's not the same job but pretty close!  It's wonderful that they are working with you.  We have men and women on this forum that have a full-time career with fibro.
 
In the Fibro 101 thread, there are some good stretching exercises you can do sitting down.  If they have given you more of a desk job, these would be good for you.  The more you move the better you will be.  If you sit or lay too much, you will be stiff as a board! 
 
If possible, get on a sleep schedule.  Go to bed around the same time every evening and get up around the same time in the morning.  By doing this, you will sleep better and that helps with fibro, too.  I'm usually in bed by 10 PM and up between 6-7 AM.  Your body will become accustomed to this and you should fall asleep quickly.  Sleep is a fibromite's friend.
 
These are a few ideas that may help you.  I don't know what your actual job is but maybe these could help you.  I hope you are able to give this a chance because you just might be happily surprised. 
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


confused Okie
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 1/3/2010 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
How long have you taken the trazadone? That stuff relly messed me up bad, does it help you? This is only one of the forums I go to as I have other issues too. It is the best fibro forum by far. Welcome and I hope you feel better, I used to feel "guilty" for staying at my job, but then I fot fired and my co workers would rather they had me than who they have now. So, don't think of it that way. I know I had asked them and they always said they wanted me to stay and it didn't matter that I couldn't do my work sometimes. I didn't really believe them and now I do. Wish things hadn't turned out the way they did, but just gotta accept it.
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you won't.
I may not do things like other people, but I get things done in my own way, in my own time.


Julianis
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 1/3/2010 9:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi okie,

Ive been on trazadone for about two months. It is heaven. I use it for the insomnia. I go to sleep right away and stay asleep. Then, in the mornings, no hangovers. What the trazadone did to you?
 
*****************************************************************************
Julianis
28 years old
Washington
Fibro Symptoms started 2007
Diagnosed on Dec 24, 2009
 
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Insomnia, 
Depression Degenerative disc disease, TMJ, GARD
 
Lyrica: 150 mg
Trazadone: 100 mg
Tyleno Arthritis: 2600 mg
 
 


Littleneck
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 1/4/2010 3:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Julianis, and welcome to our fibro family! I don't know what kinds of craziness I'd have put myself thru if I hadn't found this forum.

With all my symptoms - waking up with claw hands, stiffness, pain, crushing fatigue, depression, scent and light sensitivity, migraines, irritable bowel, irritable bladder, etc. etc. - for me, too, the worst is the fog. As a writer I can't STAND not being able to grasp the right word; I find it terrifying. My writing was/is the perfect expression of myself. I was diagnosed last February, after symptoms for at least a couple years (probably more), and finally had to give up work at Thanksgiving.

My kind co-workers were understanding but also grew secretly irritated, I could tell, and I could sense the general relief in my office when I put in my notice. I had become unreliable, looked tired but not "sick," and in that small of an office I sensed resentment that I couldn't be relied on to help when it was needed at our all-day meetings and functions. They hired me last year based on my positive, outgoing personality and past work ethic as a perfectionist; I resigned when it became so apparent that I couldn't uphold that reputation very well. The hardest part of fibro for me is learning to guage what I'm capable of doing, and what I'm just not able to do right now, and allowing myself to be honest about it while not feeling guilt. That's a hard lesson. I hope the military doctors are able to help you stay in your job, with accommodations, because that is what you love and your security. We are here for you!

deme
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 1/4/2010 8:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi
 
I was in the Navy 14 years ago and diagnosed with chonic headaches and episodal migraine. I was temporarily retired for 5 years so they could see if my condition improved. After 5 years they re-examined me and decided I had not only not improved I had gotton worse. So I was medically retired out of the military. I did Air Traffic Control and absolutely loved it and was so very, very good at it. Fast paced, lots of stress, life was good! But I lost my ability to mult-task, shoot on some days I couldnt even stay on one task, so those days were over. Stress who was once my best friend became an aquaintence I try to avoid. I miss my job, I miss the people, I miss feeling I'm doing something important, but mostly I miss being who I was. But I have gotton other things in return. A closer relationship with my husband and kids. An appreciation for the simpler things in life I otherwise wouldnt have experienced. More of an understanding of things that are really important. When I become fustrated or impatient with myself I try to keep those things in mind.
 
If you do get out I wanted to post to make sure you go through the VA. They have a lot of programs and benefits that will really help you out. The military will give you a lot of information as you go through the process, but they dont tell you everything so I'd suggest doing some research on what will be available to you and talk with a VA representative. They are a great group of people that can provide a lot of support and help. And if you do get out make sure to hold onto your Tricare!!! Not going to list a lot of details because your command may have already told you all about this but just wanted to throw it out there just in case.
 
 

Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/4/2010 1:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Julianis and welcome to our family. I'm a retired Army wife so know how hard it is to leave the military life behind. My oldest son retired from Air Force a couple of years ago. He crushed his ankle on a fire call and it is held together with plates and screws but it has never been the same and they didn't discharge him so you may have a chance to stay in if that is what you want. They even stopped making him do PT. Since so many don't realize how dibilitating fibro can be the choice may all be yours. But that is sad too that no one that doesn't have fibro understands what we go through.
 
I wish you the best whatever happens.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
Vit D/calcium

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