New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

beanley
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 124
   Posted 1/3/2010 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
i'm back. i was doing better for a while, but now, not so much. i'm currently in a mild mood disorder (not quite depression). Yes, i'm in treatment for that and everything else, have great docs, etc.

the thing it always seems to come down to tho is, "why me?" the feeling of being punished unfairly. my latest insight is that, below that feeling, is the feeling that i DO deserve to be punished, that i am somehow defective, a fraud, a bad person, and that's why this is happening to me.

talk about low self esteem! i have all the affirmations and journaling and cognitive therapy exercises in positive thinking, and they all help. but underneath every thing else that little voice is still there saying i'm a bad person and deserve what is happening to me.

how neurotic is that?! yes, i've been talking to my shrink about this, and yes, i know it's nonsense and that i am a precious child of a loving god. which means it's kind of sacreligious in a way to contradict god. if god loves me, who am i to disagree!!!

anyway, why me, it's not fair!!!! not looking for advice or suggestions, just wanted to vent. thanks all.
fibro, migraines, ibs


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/3/2010 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi beanley...

I typed up a long reply to you but then I reread your post and saw you weren't looking for advice or suggestions so I deleted it all. Just remember that none of us here deserve the fibro, or the ibs or depression, or whatever we have to endure. We all have defects, everyone on earth does. SO??? I love you just the way you are because you understand me!

Warm hugs,
Chutzie
The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for. — Alexander Chalmers

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 1/4/2010 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Beanley, I know you are not looking for advice or suggestions but I am going to risk giving
you something I learned years ago and I believe it helps.


The best way to lift your self esteem is doing for others. Visit a nursing home, sit and visit a
lonely person, volunteer working with mentally challenged, or help someone learn to read.

When you put your focus on someone who needs you and are able to help, you are rewarded
as well.

Hugs, Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/4/2010 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
I thnk that we all have wondered that at some point to some extent, but why not me? Fibro doesn't pick and chose, it just happens. Some of us have had traumatic incidents that caused it and some of us just got it. Don't nkow why or how. So you are not alone at all with this question. Just be happy knowing that you aren't alone in this. We all suffer. Some worse than others.

I like the response of visiting a nursing home or doing something for somebody less fortunate than you. And yest they are out there. There are others who have had far worse life experiences than ourselves. Try to get out and walk. That helps in many ways.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/4/2010 11:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Robin, I think that is a great suggestion for all of us. I believe giving of ourselves is great medicine for us and the ones we are giving too and there is no shortage in ones to give to.
 
Beanly, it takes a very positive person not to feel sorry for yourself sometimes when your body hurts so bad you only want to scream but with my headaches it would probably make it hurt worse so why waste the energy.
 
I grew up with very low self-esteem cause no one ever made me feel worthy. It wasn't til after I married my wonderful husband and he made me feel like I was the greatest woman in the world that I started feeling good about myself. I hope something or someone will make you see how great of a person you really are.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
Vit D/calcium


nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 1/4/2010 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
beanley, I'm sorry that you're feeling bad again, but to me, the great thing is that when you feel bad, you come HERE.

You came here to post and vent your feelings because you know that we accept you and care about you just exactly the way you are......and that we are all in the same boat.

Feel free to vent any time! We do understand...

Praying that you feel better very soon!
(((hugs)))
JoAnn
Autoimmune hepatitis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's syndrome, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, GERD.

PENDING DX: Lyme disease?? Lyme ELISA positive!

Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Darvon, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Mirapex, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP


autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com


beanley
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 124
   Posted 1/4/2010 3:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all. migraine is worse today but mood is better. sharing here last night definitely helped. sometimes you just have to put it out there to the positive energy of the universe.

you are absolutely right about doing service for others. i am very active in an organization where i can help others without needing to leave the house. it is very rewarding. my spiritual advisor thinks that maybe i was put here to show others what chronic illness looks like, to testify to my reality and my truth and make our suffering just a little bit more visible. certainly my work in the fellowship i belong to has had that effect. and it does really put my woes in perspective. and makes me feel useful that i can help others.

and yes, i do get out when i can and i exercise at home when i can.

but yeah, nasalady, you nailed it...i came HERE for the support i needed.

you are all just great and i really appreciate it.

thanks!
fibro, migraines, ibs


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 1/4/2010 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
beanley, hope you are feeling better soon.:-)

Justme7771
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 1/4/2010 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I think the same thing about the title....WHY ME!
What a challenge we all have with this disease as if it's not bad enough i have Asthma, Sleep Apnea, T2 Diabetes now! or yeah, and insomnia......THAT'S ENOUGH!

It feels like a full time job just staying healthy...thank god for my part time work that helps with the bills and other medical stuff that OHIP or ODSP doesn't cover.

:)
Keep asking till you find your answer.


FMsaddenedspirit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 236
   Posted 1/5/2010 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I to have said "why me " I think we all do.. what am I to learn from this ? how am to survive , work wise ? am I paying for past bad's ? could be .. but more I think. there is something the suffering to learn. at least for me there is. must be.
I turn to my faith , and that gets me through.
and its always good to be able to vent and get things off your chest. so to speak.. and we do really understand because we are all going thought the same things . really

Take care all... we can do this. I know we can... we are strong .
Spirit ~
 
Fibro, Chronic Fatigue ,Anxiety ,( arthritis,, hands, feet, knees, back , neck )  , disk disease in neck with bulging disk , adhesions , Migraines, High blood pressure ,Gerd, IBS , Sever sleep apnea
Med's ,,,  fentanyl patch, Perc, Soma, anxiety meds, Ect.


Alcie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 4646
   Posted 1/5/2010 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all for the posts on feelings.

It's early January, extremely cold here with a lingering low pressure system, and I forgot to take my Neurontin last night and am paying for it this morning. 4 hours after N and tramadol with very little relief and I am supposed to hang the insulation in the bathroom I am remodeling. At least there's something positive I can look forward to - every little step of the remodeling work keeps me from depression. I would take an antidepressant, but I react badly to all of them.

I hate fibromyalgia! Nobody believes it. I was just like everyone else until I got the diagnosis, thinking it wasn't a real condition. I appreciate the forum for helping me understand it. Thanks, Beanley, for venting. It helps me!
Alcie
 
 


Alcie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 4646
   Posted 1/5/2010 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all for the posts on feelings.

It's early January, extremely cold here with a lingering low pressure system, and I forgot to take my Neurontin last night and am paying for it this morning. 4 hours after N and tramadol with very little relief and I am supposed to hang the insulation in the bathroom I am remodeling. At least there's something positive I can look forward to - every little step of the remodeling work keeps me from depression. I would take an antidepressant, but I react badly to all of them.

I hate fibromyalgia! Nobody believes it. I was just like everyone else until I got the diagnosis, thinking it wasn't a real condition. I appreciate the forum for helping me understand it. Thanks, Beanley, for venting. It helps me!
Alcie
 
 

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 5:27 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,356 posts in 301,205 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151325 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, artgal234.
366 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
don826, Celeste15, Jasperilla, Teamchris, Gear, Scaredy Cat, Redwing57, Huddie, ChickNorris, time2reclaim, exqualls, artgal234


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer